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| Topic: 3 incredibly new Navy ships... | |
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Edited by
Rapunzel
on
Wed 11/12/08 02:14 PM
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i received this email today .... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- love the clinton carrier Read through to the end.................... Subject: Three incredible new Navy ships Which ship would you want to protect you and to serve on? Three New Navy Ships -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- USS RONALD REAGAN Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS! When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement. Capability Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling 1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years 2. Carrie s over 80 combat aircraft 3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet Size 1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline 2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall 3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres 4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds 5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons 6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet Capacity 1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel 2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days 3. 18,150 meals ser ved daily 4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes 5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones 6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets 7. Costs the Navy approximately $250,000 per day for pier side operation 8. Costs the Navy approximately $25 million per day for underway operations (Sailor's salaries included). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- USS BILL CLINTON The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC. The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President. The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing pr esence. As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board. This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs. An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere. In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada .. ==================================================== USS BARACK OBAMA White House Press Secretary Jesse Jackson issued the following: " This technological wonder is powered by the newest model Briggs & Stratton three horsepower engine and environmentally friendly hand paddles. Extra large white flags are ready to deploy at a moments notice. Government scientists are also working on top secret 'retro sails' which will allow this ship to make the fastest retreat of any ship in history" |
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 Very Nice
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hee hee hee
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This joke came out in 1996 except with pictures. The Barack Obama comment is new though.
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This joke came out in 1996 except with pictures. The Barack Obama comment is new though. well, that doesn't surprise me... 
i'm always behind the times... 
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hmmmmm...is my compass fugged up...it doesn't show reverse....
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hmmmmm...is my compass fugged up...it doesn't show reverse....
  
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are you the posting champ ?...11'000 !...can I have your autograph ?...
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are you the posting champ ?...11'000 !...can I have your autograph ?...
hahahahaha/// the posting champ?
nooo...not at all..
sweetie...
i have seen some people who have been here for
less time than i have
 and some of them have two or three times as many posts...
course, many times i write a chapter or a short novel,
and i do have other things to do besides get on line
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are you the posting champ ?...11'000 !...can I have your autograph ?...
hahahahaha/// the posting champ?
nooo...not at all..
sweetie...
i have seen some people who have been here for
less time than i have
and some of them have two or three times as many posts...
course, many times i write a chapter or a short novel,
and i do have other things to do besides get on line
well...I see that you've " let down your hair "...
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no door...nor stair..let down your hair...lol |
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