1 3 Next
Topic: If married....Would you rather be in love or be happy?
no photo
Tue 12/09/08 02:51 PM

I'll stick with being emotionally stable. Then Love and Happiness go hand in hand.

You would hope so but they it's not necessarily true. Many people are in love with their spouse yet live miserable lives. How many couples have you heard of that have gotten divorced even though they loved each other? They got divorced because the strain of life put too much pressure on their marriage.

This is what's happening to a friend of mine. Her marriage is in trouble due to some problems not dealing with the directly with her husband. The strain is too much even though she truly loves her husband.

The whole thing got me to thinking. Am I better off happily unmarried or unhappily married but in love?


no photo
Tue 12/09/08 02:51 PM

What???? ta can't be.....Both???

Sure it can and we all hope it is but that's not the question.

no photo
Tue 12/09/08 02:54 PM

Happiness is something that is found within each of us. I believe that if you cannot find your internal place of happiness no external source of pleasure or psuedo happiness will ever be a substitute for true happiness.

I think Abraham Lincoln said it quite simply and quite well: "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

The state of being in love can surely enhance someone's feelings of happiness and well being.

Regardless of whether I am in love or not, and regardless of whether or not there are things in my daily life that I am unhappy with, I just cannot conceive of not waking each day and deciding to be as happy as I can be each and every day of my life regardless of whomever crosses my path.

I agree with your last paragraph. But some days it's harder to decide to be happy then it is on other days.
I would rather not have to work so hard to be happy. :smile:

That was a nice response you gave. flowerforyou

no photo
Tue 12/09/08 06:06 PM
as i drove home from work today, i was thinking about love and some of the things i've accomplished and the kind of energy i've had when most every waking moment came from a place of love in me for people and places, not necessarily things though those can be good too. i think its possible to live/be 'in love' without an s.o.

happy, thats a separate topic. unhappy isn't always bad, there may be something to say for dissatisfactions and improvements.

i think its easy to be happily unmarried. every married person i've known has equated marriage as work and compromise, and many have fallen 'in love' with others while in marriage to someone they love or loved...

the french women do not marry, they know better, what it is to have working relationship with man. life is love.

FearandLoathing's photo
Tue 12/09/08 06:09 PM
Love as I see it doesn't exist to me at this point, could very well exist in the future...however it doesn't yet. If you are happy, good...if you are in love but unhappy, try and get it to work for you...if all else fails, live in the hills with a dozen or so cats.smokin

wmb07's photo
Tue 12/09/08 06:12 PM

Some married couples are in love with each other but are unhappy with their life for whatever reason.

Some married couples do not really love each other but they are very happy with their life.

If you couldn't have both which would you take?

Married to the one you love but with an otherwise unhappy life.

Married to someone you are friends with but do not love but otherwise you have a wonderfully happy life.

.........
When I say unhappy, I don't mean with your spouse, I mean with your life otherwise. Maybe you've lost your job and home or something else bad has happened.




I think happiness is a state of mind, personally.

no photo
Tue 12/09/08 06:17 PM





I think happiness is a state of mind, personally.

Maybe, I wonder if those homeless people I see on the streets are happy. Sometimes I think real life overpowers state of mind.

Dewayne123456's photo
Tue 12/09/08 06:22 PM
I think you must have both to make it through a married life and it be healhty and fun ,if not you won't like her and she wil proabley will not like you ,in other words you would be doing it for nothing!

KennyLingus's photo
Wed 12/10/08 09:10 AM


I'll stick with being emotionally stable. Then Love and Happiness go hand in hand.

You would hope so but they it's not necessarily true. Many people are in love with their spouse yet live miserable lives. How many couples have you heard of that have gotten divorced even though they loved each other? They got divorced because the strain of life put too much pressure on their marriage.

This is what's happening to a friend of mine. Her marriage is in trouble due to some problems not dealing with the directly with her husband. The strain is too much even though she truly loves her husband.

The whole thing got me to thinking. Am I better off happily unmarried or unhappily married but in love?




Then it can't be love, If they loved each other their marriage would get stronger during the stressful times. It's my opinion that a lot of people really don't know what true love is.

no photo
Wed 12/10/08 01:12 PM
married and happy

or

unmarried and happy

a woman should make you happy:wink: either way

1 3 Next