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Topic: Once a cheater always a cheater? Or not?
connorsmom1's photo
Mon 04/23/07 09:33 PM
Once a cheater always a cheater. No one can make you do something like
that. There is NO excuse.

no photo
Mon 04/23/07 09:33 PM
I admit, I have cheated, does that mean I will again, absolutely not.
That would be like saying once someone is a smoker, they are always a
smoker. People who say someone who cheats will always cheat again have
not been on the other side and do not know the situation behind the
cheating. Cheating is never right and I am not trying to say it is, but
it also shouldn't label the person as a cheater for life.

connorsmom1's photo
Mon 04/23/07 09:38 PM
I mean that as it concerns me. If someone cheats on me, than thats it.
That trust is lost.

creativesoul's photo
Tue 04/24/07 02:12 AM
As I have grown in life, I have learned to love and be loved... It was
not always so easy for me.To reiterate... If the thought is
entertained...there is a problem. I believe in reasons not excuses,
therefore if one cheats...I believe the one cheated on was not loved. I
am not proud that I have had to relearn things in life...however, I am
grateful that I am able to do so.35 now 25 then...Once a cheater always
a cheater... if that is the way one believes it is their right.
Forgiveness comes naturally.. Live, Laugh, Love... May your hearts be
open and healthy...Peace

rrr1952's photo
Tue 04/24/07 03:59 AM
I'd have to go with once alwaya.

I've been married twice. Bothe were in situations where you could
understand cheating; and both ended up repeating this. My second made it
nearly 17 years; but returned to it.

I must say though; I was fighting cancer at the time; and it was rough
on her.

andalearriba's photo
Tue 04/24/07 04:25 AM
If they've done it once, it means that they are capable of doing it
again...doesn't mean that they will, and I'm all for forgiving
people...but I've lived through the forgiving then getting my heart
crushed a second time, so just be careful...

Barbiesbigsister's photo
Tue 04/24/07 04:55 AM
If your partner has cheated on you it takes alot of trust. Sadly I dont
posess that. I dont share.

twosteper's photo
Tue 04/24/07 05:06 AM
my advice is

dont do it

i did 24 years ago n been payin for it since

all women looks at me like i did it to them

so i be alone n will be

cuz i dont set well to terms n conditions that they want to set on me

party on...drinker drinker drinker drinker

Kens_Barbie's photo
Tue 04/24/07 09:26 AM
No exceptions...there is never an excuse to cheat on your spouse or your
significant other. If you were going to go cheating what the heck are
you doing in the relationship in the first place? There are no excuses
for cheating...ever!

noway noway noway
:angry:

oldsage's photo
Tue 04/24/07 09:30 AM
Excuses, your all correct, never an excuse for any wrong actions.

Can the wrong action be overcome & is it poss for 2 people, that want to
do the work, to move beyond the wrong. Heal & build something, stronger
than before. Remember both have to want & participate in achieving the
goal.

no photo
Tue 04/24/07 09:33 AM
I did not cheat inmy 13 years of marriage. Did I want to? did I come
close? Yes to both but I thank God I didnt becuase I will never haveto
wonder if thats why we got a divorce!

lulu24's photo
Wed 04/25/07 03:51 PM
i was a different person fifteen years ago...

i've cheated on several partners, and almost exclusively with the same
person. in my heart, i was truly committed to only him...

i've grown and changed, my priorities have shifted, i'm completely new.
since ben died, i've never cheated on anyone...and never would again.

EmotionalTurbulance's photo
Wed 04/25/07 04:04 PM
OP

you got it. it the intent and action.

I refuse to belief the "OPPS there's penis between us" bullcrap.

doesn't fly with me, lol.

lulu24's photo
Wed 04/25/07 04:13 PM
for the record, i wouldn't accept intoxication as an excuse...because he
made the decision to drink in the first place.

bibby7's photo
Wed 04/25/07 04:16 PM
To reply to the OP..

Cheating is not a mistake.. It is a conscious decision, amde by a
committed partner..Male or Female.

It is never right, and, even though it can be forgiven, it is never
forgotten..

Once it has happened, the relationship is doomed..It is inevitable!!

no photo
Wed 04/25/07 04:16 PM
Depends on the type of cheater.

You have some cheaters who do it because their significant other is a
bastard. Cheating as a defence mechanism, essentially. They (can) stop.
They don't usually, but they can.

And you've got the "I'm ----ed up" cheaters. They cheat because they're
emotionally defective and, frankly, shouldn't be allowed near an
intimate relationship until they clean up their act. But, some people
are still dumb enough to bone them. Once they have their "wake up you
stupid loser" moment, they usually quit.


And then you've got the ones for whom cheating is essentially a sexual
deviation. These make up the VAST majority of cheaters. They'll never
stop. Not so long as they've got the chance.

EmotionalTurbulance's photo
Wed 04/25/07 07:20 PM
thing is, it isn't an illness. the persons are quite able to mkae the
choices.

I don't care what the excuse is. If you are in a relationship, and you
hard low enough to disregard it, and cheat...

No, why? Because they are ultimately cowards. They go for what feels
good, and in case it doesn't work out, they have a fall back.

Simple as that, really.

wrong is wrong.

sure we could go nto all the differences behind the whys of women vs
men.. but, the truth still holds.
End one before hopping another.

Jess642's photo
Wed 04/25/07 07:31 PM
Hey I 've cheated....cheated on exams when I didn't know the
answer...couldn't for the life of me remember the answer and looked at
the person's answer next to me...I was like 9 years old...

So condemn me...

I don't see the difference...

We cheat, deceive, others, all the time....and the worst thing is, the
worst offence is we cheat ourselves into believing we don't.

So someone goes and gets wild, gets naked with another...

Hurts like hell...no denying it...why???

Is it because we believe we own the other person?

Sacred contracts??

I don't own you, nor your body, you do what you do, and I will do what I
do...personally, I can't be in a sexual relationship with more than one,
am too intense a person, it's who I am...but hey, I don't get to tell
you to be me...

I am just me, right or wrong for others, is up to others to decide, but
I am right for me...

Cheating, is just that, and no matter which way you paint it, we all do
in some tiny way...

So who gets to condemn?

creativesoul's photo
Wed 04/25/07 07:32 PM
Hmmmmmmm.... . . . I found myself wishing I had not cheated once
I had...and could have gotten away with it, had it not been for my
conscience. Had I known about the wonderful things that love could bring
to the surface of life, I would have have been able to recognize the
wrongfulness of the thoughts before they had a chance to evolve into the
soul-stripping infidelity that they eventually became, in my life and my
heart.
I am not proud of my mistakes, especially concerning integrity of
character, and vowed to perform a critical self-examination of the most
invasive kind. The world looks different only when you can look at it
differently. I wore many hats and tried on many shoes...this man inside
me is what I have became...only through my God's grace has my "eyesight"
been restored. My teachers are children and my teachers are friends,
good strangers with ill-will, and they... . . . who come in!
The trivialized versions are for the trivial ones... For out of the
overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. Live...Laugh...Love
Peace

okdcus's photo
Wed 04/25/07 07:40 PM
relainships have survived it before but they are never the
same..personaly not sure i could go on after that.it really depends on
alot of stuff....i delt with it for almost 4 years on and off with my
younger son's mom but it was not all the time and there was way deeper
issues there.either way as far as i know shes still doing it almost 10
years later.

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