After landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day.
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids,yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly,
'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. '
'Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no,they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

So I replied,'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe you got laid * twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

My supervisor said I just probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.