i'm 38 bf 28 and we lost everything and he has lost his mind also. we have 4yr. old. we moved to the north and it didn't go as well as i hoped his aunt was involved in everything. (very nosie) she controlled everything and then one day he came in and said he didn't want to work anymore he wanted to go to school for the next 4 years. i told him that we could go live with my neice in down south. i never thought he would say yes but he did and it floored me and off we went. if was just suppose to do a couple of classes there and then come here to be with me and his daughter and then things started to change everyday. now he wants me to sign papers giving him half custody and he will have her during the summer months and every other holiday. i says he can't pay nothing because he has to pay for school. he is now so mean to me and hatefull you would believe the words that he uses. that is not the person i fell in love with he has changed for the worse and his family is not helping they all hate each other and never speak until now. i pay the cell bill so he can talk with our daughter as much as he wants and then i bought a web cam and he has only used it twice and only calls her at night before bed. i still love him and want my family back together and at night he calls and tells me he loves me and during the day he is totally diffrent person. i need the income return to by a car i have no money he knows that so he will not give the tax return until i send him a paper saying that i will take that for the 2009 child support. i'm stuck all i do is cry and throw up i can't take much more. the baby she is my life and they don't want her up there he just wants to see me suffer. i have done everything he has asked of me. the little money i do have i have spent it on sendingg him the stuff i do have of his i don't want his stuff nor would i keep it. i dont want to piss him off and take him to court then he will get her for visition and i will have to send my baby up there. he said he will put her in day care as much as he can(his aunts best friend owns a day care out of a trailor and it is gross i seen it and it is not accr. thru the state that means anyone can walk in off the street and be around her. i have never been one day away from her and it will kill me to put her on a plane and to send her up there. i'm stuck and i don't know which way to turn. so can anyone help please anyt comments will be welcome. oh i told him i will take care of her with no support as long as he can come down here to see her. and then when he gets done with school he can then help me support her. he is the father and now his family has questioning that. she looks just like him. i just want him to grow up and come to his mind. thanks to everyone helps.

No. The person you fell in love with was the fake. The way he's treating you now is the real him.
Anyone can be on their best behavior for awhile. But no one, that is a good, solid, stable, decent, human being, treats the mother of their child like that if that wasn't how his personality truly is.
So many people, and yes, I've fallen for it too... claim that he's changed. This isn't the real him. But you have it backwards. The "real him" is what's showing thru now. The fake is the one you met and fell in love with. The one that told you everything you wanted to hear...
Cut your losses and move on. Refuse to be treated like that by anyone. Simply refuse it. Take care of you and your child the best that you can. And teach your child that this behavior is NOT acceptable.

Well said, as usual.

Save yourself the headache. Mental problem central!!

What Jill said...

Sorry you're going through this.

In addition to the above advice, stop sending him money and use it instead to get a lawyer. He is not interested in being fair or doing what is best for the child, you need someone stronger on your side.