Topic: Parental Relationship
Autumn_queen's photo
Wed 05/02/07 06:57 PM
My dad, who is in denial still that i am not the same person i was 4/5
years ago.
I just wish he'd stop dismissing it as a phase. Basically, he is telling
me since he doesn't like what I believe in (spiritually and political)
it is simply a phase. When I was in my teens, and I adopted all the same
beliefs he did, not once did he mention the word "phase!"
I B**** too much about my father, i cant help it. I am still a teenager
(for the next 183 days)
I believe, unlike him, in strong monotheistic moral values, tolerance,
and that it is our duty to help others. I am against partying, and that
raising a well-adjusted family is the best thing you can do, or
especially adopt :)
When i was about to convert to Islam, he freaked out and bullied me out
of it! (he is Wicca, and to the wiccans out there, Merry Late Beltaine!)
If I just consider something, its a "phase"
I'm not aloud to think outside of the box without it being tied to my
age.
I feel like he says it to keep his own control over me in his mind.
*sigh*

I am just trying to find me, and it is depressing he has to call every
new ideal i have adopted as a phase! My last phase was the Goth chick
funeral director lasted age All of middle school. (13-15)

Thanks for reading me babble on and on making barely any sense and
typing in circles!

Once again 183 days left of teen-hood!!!






Autumn_queen's photo
Wed 05/02/07 07:41 PM
Thanks for reading everyone :)

SheNerd's photo
Wed 05/02/07 07:52 PM
Hi Autumn queen,

Aw, don't feel too badly about this. I am 38 y/o and my parents are
still hoping I'll grow up one of these years... :)

I think sometimes it's hard for parents to see their kids growing up and
becoming their own people, (I know my parents had trouble with this, not
because they didn't love me a great deal then, and still do now, but I
think that just comes with the parenting territory). I have also
noticed that this tendency is stronger in parents who are closer to
their children than those who aren't, so IMHO perhaps it means you and
your father have a stronger relationship than your peers do with their
parents which may be painful now, but in the long run is a good thing.

If your father is bothering you a lot, you might want to ask him
tactfully to respect your beliefs, whatever they may be, and leave it at
that. Perhaps he does respect them, deep down, but is afraid of losing
you, which might make him cling tighter and try to clamp down harder on
you (using your beliefs as a convenient scapegoat) as you are preparing
to leave home and move on with your life. You could reassure him that
there will always be a place for him in your life and that you hope you
will always be able come to him for advice and support. This may help
to ease the separation issue a bit.

Sorry if I overanalyzed things here and if this doesn't apply to you,
please disregard the aforementioned.

Good luck and best wishes from SheNerd :)

Autumn_queen's photo
Wed 05/02/07 07:57 PM
I totally appreciate your post sheNerd

*hugs*

SheNerd's photo
Wed 05/02/07 07:58 PM
Hi Autumn queen,

Aw, thanks for the hug, right back at you. :)

Best wishes from SheNerd :)