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Topic: Marriage Is Grounds For Divorce
freeonthree's photo
Mon 06/21/10 10:37 AM
Edited by freeonthree on Mon 06/21/10 10:42 AM
Lets face it, people get married, and sometimes it lasts forever, sometimes it only lasts a year, or less. I've met couples that never got married, but have been together for 20 years, and longer.
What is marriage anyway ? It's an agreement between two people who love each other. Do we need paperwork for that ? I don't think so.
We have titles and receipts for our stuff, but were not talking about stuff here, were talking about emmotions. Do we need titles or receipts for our emmotions ? I don't think so. I think people should live together, and be couples, but forget the paperwork, leaving the state and the church out of it. Breaking up is rough enough without all the legal crap to complicate matters, and it only makes for more bitterness. I think that after marriage, some people start to feel trapped because of the paperwork and legal stuff. They will start dwelling on the what if's, and let it slowly destroy their relationship. From where im sitting, it appears that when people feel that either party can just gracefully bow out at any time, they tend to hold on tighter. I think sometimes, marriage is grounds for divorce. Dennis

no photo
Mon 06/21/10 10:45 AM
If marriage isn't right for you, that's fine. That doesn't mean it isn't right for others, though.

msharmony's photo
Mon 06/21/10 10:47 AM

If marriage isn't right for you, that's fine. That doesn't mean it isn't right for others, though.


well said

freeonthree's photo
Mon 06/21/10 10:50 AM

If marriage isn't right for you, that's fine. That doesn't mean it isn't right for others, though.


Of course it works for some folks, but when I look at the divorce rate, I think those people are rare. How many people marry, and stay together for life ? I'd love to see the pie chart on that.

freeonthree's photo
Mon 06/21/10 10:51 AM


If marriage isn't right for you, that's fine. That doesn't mean it isn't right for others, though.


well said


I agrree, but this isn't about me. It's about people in general, everywhere.

msharmony's photo
Mon 06/21/10 10:53 AM


If marriage isn't right for you, that's fine. That doesn't mean it isn't right for others, though.


Of course it works for some folks, but when I look at the divorce rate, I think those people are rare. How many people marry, and stay together for life ? I'd love to see the pie chart on that.



I would love to see if they have numbers about how many unmarried couples stay together,, and make the comparisons,,,

I think the divorce rate is reflective or a more egocentric culture where people get too involved with themself to really share ups an downs with someone else,,,,and a shallow culture where people get together more often because of sexual compatibility or physical attraction than because of any deep emotional and intellectual bonding.

no photo
Mon 06/21/10 10:56 AM



If marriage isn't right for you, that's fine. That doesn't mean it isn't right for others, though.


well said


I agrree, but this isn't about me. It's about people in general, everywhere.


This is about you. You've stated what you think, so of course it's about you. Let others decide what they want to do.

no photo
Mon 06/21/10 10:57 AM


If marriage isn't right for you, that's fine. That doesn't mean it isn't right for others, though.


Of course it works for some folks, but when I look at the divorce rate, I think those people are rare. How many people marry, and stay together for life ? I'd love to see the pie chart on that.


I know several couples who have been together for many years. My parents, for example, have been married for 38 years.

sherry4382's photo
Mon 06/21/10 10:58 AM

Lets face it, people get married, and sometimes it lasts forever, sometimes it only lasts a year, or less. I've met couples that never got married, but have been together for 20 years, and longer.
What is marriage anyway ? It's an agreement between two people who love each other. Do we need paperwork for that ? I don't think so.
We have titles and receipts for our stuff, but were not talking about stuff here, were talking about emmotions. Do we need titles or receipts for our emmotions ? I don't think so. I think people should live together, and be couples, but forget the paperwork, leaving the state and the church out of it. Breaking up is rough enough without all the legal crap to complicate matters, and it only makes for more bitterness. I think that after marriage, some people start to feel trapped because of the paperwork and legal stuff. They will start dwelling on the what if's, and let it slowly destroy their relationship. From where im sitting, it appears that when people feel that either party can just gracefully bow out at any time, they tend to hold on tighter. I think sometimes, marriage is grounds for divorce. Dennis



So does that mean you will never marry me???!!grumble

Well can we at least have a party??:wink: laugh :tongue:

freeonthree's photo
Mon 06/21/10 10:59 AM



If marriage isn't right for you, that's fine. That doesn't mean it isn't right for others, though.


Of course it works for some folks, but when I look at the divorce rate, I think those people are rare. How many people marry, and stay together for life ? I'd love to see the pie chart on that.



I would love to see if they have numbers about how many unmarried couples stay together,, and make the comparisons,,,

I think the divorce rate is reflective or a more egocentric culture where people get too involved with themself to really share ups an downs with someone else,,,,and a shallow culture where people get together more often because of sexual compatibility or physical attraction than because of any deep emotional and intellectual bonding.


I think you hit the nail right on the head with that last part, and I doubt it will ever change.
When I was a young man, I didn't even hear what girls were saying. I was way too busy checkin out their legs bigsmile

sherry4382's photo
Mon 06/21/10 11:02 AM
How bout we skip the wedding and go straight to the reception, and then the honeymoon!!bigsmile

You know you're not being a very good influence!!laugh :tongue:

delilady's photo
Mon 06/21/10 11:04 AM
I lived with my then boyfriend for 9 years before we got married and our son was 4. I got married because my husband thought it would be easier for my son at school. I was married 20 years before we separated. Getting married after 9 years of living together did not make our bond stronger. The bond was already there. I have nothing against marriage, I just don't think it has anything to do with commitment. I am no more committed to a relationship because of legalities. My commitment comes from my heart and my head. I agree that it was a good thing for my boys to have the stability of their parents being married. For all of us to have the same last name. Now they are learning what happens when the marriage no longer works. I don't think marriage causes divorce any more than I think it makes a relationship stronger. The people in the relationship are the ones who are responsible for the success or failure of the relationship

freeonthree's photo
Mon 06/21/10 11:07 AM




If marriage isn't right for you, that's fine. That doesn't mean it isn't right for others, though.


well said


I agrree, but this isn't about me. It's about people in general, everywhere.


This is about you. You've stated what you think, so of course it's about you. Let others decide what they want to do.


No, it's not about me. I voiced my opinion about marriage, so that I can see what others think, but I am in no way suggesting anyone should change their way of thinking. I think marriage is a wonderful thing, for the right people. I also think, that if two people want to be together, they should be, married or not.
This thread is about marriage, or just living together, not me.

Seakolony's photo
Mon 06/21/10 11:09 AM
Marriage remains a religious aspect that the government decided to profit from by issuing paperwork and requiring blood tests in certains states. I do not remember where in the bible it says you have to pay for a piece of paper for it to be considered "marriage". Handfasting prevailed prior to "marriage certficates" throughout many countries and nations. They never retained paperwork for verification of marriage. Common law marriages recognized in many states in this country and other countries today......

IMO, as long as recognized by others or introduced as married couple no different than buying the paperwork.......

freeonthree's photo
Mon 06/21/10 11:10 AM


Lets face it, people get married, and sometimes it lasts forever, sometimes it only lasts a year, or less. I've met couples that never got married, but have been together for 20 years, and longer.
What is marriage anyway ? It's an agreement between two people who love each other. Do we need paperwork for that ? I don't think so.
We have titles and receipts for our stuff, but were not talking about stuff here, were talking about emmotions. Do we need titles or receipts for our emmotions ? I don't think so. I think people should live together, and be couples, but forget the paperwork, leaving the state and the church out of it. Breaking up is rough enough without all the legal crap to complicate matters, and it only makes for more bitterness. I think that after marriage, some people start to feel trapped because of the paperwork and legal stuff. They will start dwelling on the what if's, and let it slowly destroy their relationship. From where im sitting, it appears that when people feel that either party can just gracefully bow out at any time, they tend to hold on tighter. I think sometimes, marriage is grounds for divorce. Dennis



So does that mean you will never marry me???!!grumble

Well can we at least have a party??:wink: laugh :tongue:


Hey, I might get married someday, it could happen. And sure, we can have a huge party, as long as it's at your place bigsmile

crossroad123's photo
Mon 06/21/10 11:10 AM
Edited by crossroad123 on Mon 06/21/10 11:14 AM
Age at marriage for those who divorce in America
Age Women Men
Under 20 years old 27.6% 11.7%
20 to 24 years old 36.6% 38.8%
25 to 29 years old 16.4% 22.3%
30 to 34 years old 8.5% 11.6%
35 to 39 years old 5.1% 6.5%

this is the best chart i could get and this is a 2009 study waving

sherry4382's photo
Mon 06/21/10 11:11 AM



Lets face it, people get married, and sometimes it lasts forever, sometimes it only lasts a year, or less. I've met couples that never got married, but have been together for 20 years, and longer.
What is marriage anyway ? It's an agreement between two people who love each other. Do we need paperwork for that ? I don't think so.
We have titles and receipts for our stuff, but were not talking about stuff here, were talking about emmotions. Do we need titles or receipts for our emmotions ? I don't think so. I think people should live together, and be couples, but forget the paperwork, leaving the state and the church out of it. Breaking up is rough enough without all the legal crap to complicate matters, and it only makes for more bitterness. I think that after marriage, some people start to feel trapped because of the paperwork and legal stuff. They will start dwelling on the what if's, and let it slowly destroy their relationship. From where im sitting, it appears that when people feel that either party can just gracefully bow out at any time, they tend to hold on tighter. I think sometimes, marriage is grounds for divorce. Dennis



So does that mean you will never marry me???!!grumble

Well can we at least have a party??:wink: laugh :tongue:


Hey, I might get married someday, it could happen. And sure, we can have a huge party, as long as it's at your place bigsmile


I don't feel like cleaning up the mess....lets just go riding and bar hoping..you can be my D.D. and then i'll show you my DD's!! :wink: :tongue:

freeonthree's photo
Mon 06/21/10 11:12 AM

How bout we skip the wedding and go straight to the reception, and then the honeymoon!!bigsmile

You know you're not being a very good influence!!laugh :tongue:


You got me there bigsmile Fee Love For Everyone ! :banana:

Ladylid2012's photo
Mon 06/21/10 11:13 AM
I was married once and lived with one once...my 'shack-up' lasted longer than my marriage. I don't lean either way on the subject, I'm open to all possibilities.

freeonthree's photo
Mon 06/21/10 11:18 AM

Age at marriage for those who divorce in America
Age Women Men
Under 20 years old 27.6% 11.7%
20 to 24 years old 36.6% 38.8%
25 to 29 years old 16.4% 22.3%
30 to 34 years old 8.5% 11.6%
35 to 39 years old 5.1% 6.5%

this is the best chart i could get and this is a 2009 study waving


Older people seem to be better at staying together, thanks !

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