Topic: Most frustrating experiences
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Mon 10/04/10 04:08 AM
Suzanne20, it sounds like I wrote that posting myself! The only difference are the genders of the people involved. I can deal with rejection, but the not knowing of why it ended, that's what gets me. This sort of thing must happen all the time.

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Sat 10/09/10 07:45 AM


I am interested in hearing of the frustrations encountered by others in the endeavor of online dating.


One of my biggest frustrations is trying to decipher the putrid piles of drivel, illiteracy and incompetency that people try to pass off as a "profile."

Another frustration is that people have a tendency to tell you what they think you want to hear, or what they think they're supposed to say (often the same thing), rather than anything remotely resembling the truth.

Some people seem unable to comprehend simple statements such as "I am not interested in dating anyone who _________."

The sheer, incomprehensible homogeneity.

Having the first girl I met from a dating site turn out to be an arsonist.

Having the next eight turn out to be even worse.




Ah...I see you've met some of my exes...

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Sat 10/09/10 07:48 AM

Hey Lex! I like fire! pitchfork I just stick with gasoline and woodpiles though. Flame on! :banana:

Liars! Plain and simple. Intentional and unintentional.


to lie requires intent. One can be truthful and be wrong. To lie one has to know the truth and say something else.

Fade2Black's photo
Sat 10/09/10 08:18 AM


I'd say all bets are off until you've met in person, and even then, it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind.

The best you can do is be worthwhile in the sense that someone will desire you...

jmo but it works for me...


Never count your chicks..... blah blah blah....

Often times, online connections are based off of assumptions and expectations....

If you get to the part where you actually meet in person, it's best to treat it as the very first time talking and meeting that person despite hours spent online/text/phone/etc.

The mental and emotional connections made online.... may or may not translate in real life.

ohwell Online dating is more challenging than dating in person, imo.




Online dating is NOT, I repeat NOT for the faint at heart. It needs to come with that disclaimer :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

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Sat 10/09/10 02:52 PM
I have found that online dating is just like life and society in general. People are constantly trying to see what they can get away with and common courtesy is uncommon at best. There are scammers aplenty and quite a few flakes, weirdos, and wackos out there as well. One truly has to be careful and at the same time, never get discouraged. Sometimes I think I'm a glutton for punishment for trying online dating in the first place, however I cling to a small hope that it all pans out in the end.

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Sun 10/10/10 11:21 AM

I have found that online dating is just like life and society in general. People are constantly trying to see what they can get away with and common courtesy is uncommon at best. There are scammers aplenty and quite a few flakes, weirdos, and wackos out there as well. One truly has to be careful and at the same time, never get discouraged. Sometimes I think I'm a glutton for punishment for trying online dating in the first place, however I cling to a small hope that it all pans out in the end.


Unless your standards are low are very broad, I'm thinking online dating gives you a better shot, as it were, than picking up a random stranger at a bar.

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Sun 10/10/10 11:43 AM


I have found that online dating is just like life and society in general. People are constantly trying to see what they can get away with and common courtesy is uncommon at best. There are scammers aplenty and quite a few flakes, weirdos, and wackos out there as well. One truly has to be careful and at the same time, never get discouraged. Sometimes I think I'm a glutton for punishment for trying online dating in the first place, however I cling to a small hope that it all pans out in the end.


Unless your standards are low are very broad, I'm thinking online dating gives you a better shot, as it were, than picking up a random stranger at a bar.


It's a mixed blessing, Undoubtedly, online dating gives you exposure to countless numbers of people who would otherwise never knew you existed, and vice versa. Unfortunately, the vast majority of those people are much too far away to have any practical impact on one's actual dating life.

The other downside is that few people have the skills to communicate effectively within the context of a written medium. Even fewer have the skills to communicate honestly, or so it seems.

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Sun 10/10/10 12:05 PM



I have found that online dating is just like life and society in general. People are constantly trying to see what they can get away with and common courtesy is uncommon at best. There are scammers aplenty and quite a few flakes, weirdos, and wackos out there as well. One truly has to be careful and at the same time, never get discouraged. Sometimes I think I'm a glutton for punishment for trying online dating in the first place, however I cling to a small hope that it all pans out in the end.


Unless your standards are low are very broad, I'm thinking online dating gives you a better shot, as it were, than picking up a random stranger at a bar.


It's a mixed blessing, Undoubtedly, online dating gives you exposure to countless numbers of people who would otherwise never knew you existed, and vice versa. Unfortunately, the vast majority of those people are much too far away to have any practical impact on one's actual dating life.

The other downside is that few people have the skills to communicate effectively within the context of a written medium. Even fewer have the skills to communicate honestly, or so it seems.



Welcome to the world. Most people here, on Earth, have those problems.
Still, online, I think one has a better shot at meeting someone who doesn't have diametrically opposed viewpoints on critical subjects.
However, nothing is foolproof. I once dated a woman from online. Everything was going great---until she found out I had (gasp) cats. And worse, I let them get on a table. A table I used for nothing except to let cats get on it, but that didn't matter. It was a dealbreaker for her. People are strange.

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Sun 10/10/10 12:13 PM




I have found that online dating is just like life and society in general. People are constantly trying to see what they can get away with and common courtesy is uncommon at best. There are scammers aplenty and quite a few flakes, weirdos, and wackos out there as well. One truly has to be careful and at the same time, never get discouraged. Sometimes I think I'm a glutton for punishment for trying online dating in the first place, however I cling to a small hope that it all pans out in the end.


Unless your standards are low are very broad, I'm thinking online dating gives you a better shot, as it were, than picking up a random stranger at a bar.


It's a mixed blessing, Undoubtedly, online dating gives you exposure to countless numbers of people who would otherwise never knew you existed, and vice versa. Unfortunately, the vast majority of those people are much too far away to have any practical impact on one's actual dating life.

The other downside is that few people have the skills to communicate effectively within the context of a written medium. Even fewer have the skills to communicate honestly, or so it seems.



Welcome to the world. Most people here, on Earth, have those problems.
Still, online, I think one has a better shot at meeting someone who doesn't have diametrically opposed viewpoints on critical subjects.
However, nothing is foolproof. I once dated a woman from online. Everything was going great---until she found out I had (gasp) cats. And worse, I let them get on a table. A table I used for nothing except to let cats get on it, but that didn't matter. It was a dealbreaker for her. People are strange.


I've only dated 9 people from on line, so I don't have a statistically significant sampling to work with; but, in my experience, the insanity level is much higher on line than it is in real life. Although the boredom level, the illiteracy level, and the incompatibility level seem to be fairly consistent from one venue to the other.

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Sun 10/10/10 01:14 PM
Edited by Unknow on Sun 10/10/10 01:16 PM
When it comes to the question of sanity, I must be a nut magnet, because my latest ex (not met online) was definitely not playing with a full deck. I have met quite a few nuts online now in the last few months and I fear that they must gravitate to me for some reason. I wish there was some way I could tell who the nuts are before I get involved with them. I guess even a nut can be manipulative enough to fool someone into thinking she is sane.laugh

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Mon 10/11/10 08:35 AM

When it comes to the question of sanity, I must be a nut magnet, because my latest ex (not met online) was definitely not playing with a full deck. I have met quite a few nuts online now in the last few months and I fear that they must gravitate to me for some reason. I wish there was some way I could tell who the nuts are before I get involved with them. I guess even a nut can be manipulative enough to fool someone into thinking she is sane.laugh


Get a list of questions to ask that all start with,
"Are you now or have you ever been..."

And seriously, everyone is crazy to one degree or another. The trick is finding someone whose crazy you find charming.

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Mon 10/11/10 08:38 AM


When it comes to the question of sanity, I must be a nut magnet, because my latest ex (not met online) was definitely not playing with a full deck. I have met quite a few nuts online now in the last few months and I fear that they must gravitate to me for some reason. I wish there was some way I could tell who the nuts are before I get involved with them. I guess even a nut can be manipulative enough to fool someone into thinking she is sane.laugh


Get a list of questions to ask that all start with,
"Are you now or have you ever been..."

And seriously, everyone is crazy to one degree or another. The trick is finding someone whose crazy you find charming.


I'd like to try that. So far, the only crazy I've run into is "overbearing" and "manipulative."

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Mon 10/11/10 08:46 AM
I try to stick to dating local people, rather than someone far away. I'd rather be able to meet them fairly quickly, than spend tons of time online chatting. However, my frustration lately is how many people aren't looking for anything, really, other than just a little fun here and there.

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Mon 10/11/10 01:14 PM
I wonder how many people are actually looking for dating and relationships on online dating sites. I know for a fact that there are scammers, game players, and all sorts of kooks. There are those that act interested and pull back on the last minute. Then there are those who seek to punish anyone and everyone for the sins of the last person who hurt them, as well as the ones who like to sit in the judgement seat and have fun rejecting all who show interest in them. Too bad that there wasn't some way to weed out all the scammers, schemers, and game players, leaving only those who are legitimately seeking a relationship with good intentions.

1Bartolo's photo
Mon 10/11/10 01:29 PM
Damn you mean all the nudges were for nothing. I haven’t dated anyone from the internet haven't been out here long enough. But I've dealt with my share of wacko's off the street so I'm not really worried i could weed most things out.
To answer your original question I don't really have any frustrations at this time.
I do find the topic Interesting though …..

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Tue 10/12/10 10:01 AM



When it comes to the question of sanity, I must be a nut magnet, because my latest ex (not met online) was definitely not playing with a full deck. I have met quite a few nuts online now in the last few months and I fear that they must gravitate to me for some reason. I wish there was some way I could tell who the nuts are before I get involved with them. I guess even a nut can be manipulative enough to fool someone into thinking she is sane.laugh


Get a list of questions to ask that all start with,
"Are you now or have you ever been..."

And seriously, everyone is crazy to one degree or another. The trick is finding someone whose crazy you find charming.


I'd like to try that. So far, the only crazy I've run into is "overbearing" and "manipulative."


I hear that, so to speak. All I can say is keep trying. There are still a few good people left in the world. They are few and far between, to be sure, but they are out there. If things like this website doesn't work for you, try joining a club of something you have an interest in. Anyone you meet there will at least have that in common with you.

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Tue 10/12/10 10:03 AM

I try to stick to dating local people, rather than someone far away. I'd rather be able to meet them fairly quickly, than spend tons of time online chatting. However, my frustration lately is how many people aren't looking for anything, really, other than just a little fun here and there.


I wasn't looking for anything more than a little fun when I found someone to fall in love with.

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Tue 10/12/10 10:38 AM




When it comes to the question of sanity, I must be a nut magnet, because my latest ex (not met online) was definitely not playing with a full deck. I have met quite a few nuts online now in the last few months and I fear that they must gravitate to me for some reason. I wish there was some way I could tell who the nuts are before I get involved with them. I guess even a nut can be manipulative enough to fool someone into thinking she is sane.laugh


Get a list of questions to ask that all start with,
"Are you now or have you ever been..."

And seriously, everyone is crazy to one degree or another. The trick is finding someone whose crazy you find charming.


I'd like to try that. So far, the only crazy I've run into is "overbearing" and "manipulative."


I hear that, so to speak. All I can say is keep trying. There are still a few good people left in the world. They are few and far between, to be sure, but they are out there. If things like this website doesn't work for you, try joining a club of something you have an interest in. Anyone you meet there will at least have that in common with you.


Unfortunately, I'm in a position where on line is the only option I have for meeting people....which creates a whole plethora of problems in and of itself.

buttons's photo
Tue 10/12/10 11:08 AM

Online dating, like most everything else in life, has its ups and downs. For this thread, I would like to focus on the downside, the frustrations experienced in the quest for someone special. As I have found out, the road to a good match is paved with unpleasant experiences and unsavory individuals. My most frustrating experience, and it has happened on more than one occasion, is when a seemingly serious connection develops, with frequent emails, IM's, and phone calls. Then, out of the blue, for no known reason, it stops cold and I never hear from the person again and I'm left wondering what I said or did wrong.frustrated I am currently involved in something I hope and pray blossoms into a lasting and meaningful relationship. However, I know what it feels like to be led to believe things are going in a positive direction, then be left twisting in the wind. All I know is that if I were ever to break off an online connection (and I have), I would let the other person know in a timely fashion and not burn any bridges.
I am interested in hearing of the frustrations encountered by others in the endeavor of online dating.

well for me i have to say the same exact thing as you say.. over and over it happened to me. i seriously gave up after like the 5th time in a yr lol! was a big waste of time..seems most dont really want to meet.. just want a online fantasy... however... i stayed on here for the friends i made... started asking my friends if they had any single friends.. those i did meet.. werent for me though .. one thing i learned to not waste much time talking.. i did switch to local only.. and if they did not want to meet with in 2 weeks then i was done wasting time.. then outta the blue what do you know? there came a real true mingle match. yes one that did want to meet. and pretty much we are inseparable.. he is my boyfriend now... i cant see anytime soon that he wont be.... i hope you have good luck with this one..

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Tue 10/12/10 01:18 PM
Since I posted this thread, I have heard the good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm glad things worked out, buttons. As I said before, the road to a good match is paved with unsavory individuals and unpleasant experiences. I guess the miscreant I almost connected with will make me appreciate the good one I hope to meet somewhere down the road.