I think we are gonna be just fine, Red! I think we need each other's friendship to continue healing from our past. We both had to endure some traumatic experiences along with lots of betrayal, lies, and deceit from so-called friends/family. No one else can even begin to understand how either of us feels, but the other, because we went through that experience together! It split us apart, but I am glad to be back in touch. Just going to see him and saying I am sorry and hearing the same took a huge burden off of me!

haha souf, I took a zombie fighting test on FB yesterday & I was deemed a commando, cuz I like big guns and want to be the one shooting the dang zomabies! figures

Personally I think your fixated. Maybe hanging on to the ideal of what you wish for the relationship, more so than the reality of what it is. Im saying this cause Ive been there G'friend. You wont be free til you see that...but recognizing that will free you. And truly, you deserve better than to spend any more of your life on this. As long as your involved with the wrong guy, you wont be free for the right guy when he comes along. That would be a shame.

In my eyes, life isn't complicated. We make it that why by the way we live. So looking at this, my actions affect the outcome of whatever i'm doing. I may not listen to myself a lot of the time, and end up paying for it. But in the long run. There are days when I can stop myself and say. OH ok

exactly, running from my problems in life has made it very complicated! I need to deal with this so I can move forward! Until I either get over him or we decide to give it a second chance I will not be capable of making any relationship work no matter who it is. I am not rushing in like an idiot and I appreciate all the input.

thanks