yup. nothing wrong with it so long as all parties are on the same page.

Continued from previous thread...


So here's a thread to write love notes. Secret or not so secret, it makes no difference. Express the love in your heart in here!

heart heart love love heart heart love love


I always loved this thread because it was pretty positive.

Who's on YOUR mind? What would you like to say to them right now? Share with us here. Let the love flow. Friends, family, romantic partners, companions, whoever. Share the love!

You asked for it .. I have to get this out before I go completely insane, lol. I'm sorry it's so long but I had to write this. I'll make it a separate post.

You didn't leave last summer with just you're belongings -- When you left, you unknowingly took half of my heart with you. I let you walk away because I was scared of rejection -- that you didn't feel the same way because, at the time, we had only been dating for a few months. I regret letting you leave to Florida so easily.

You've always portrayed yourself as someone who is too numb to ever love again. I have told you time and time again that a few bad experiences shouldn't discourage you -- that being so numb and emotionally closed is no way to live. Although you agree, you still choose to live that way but your actions tend to speak louder than any words you say. I have a feeling you are in a constant battle with your emotions and your pride. You started out calling me every other day.

You have been away for about 7 months now. I spent the fall beating myself up over the fact that I watched you walk away -- that I allowed myself to open up to someone so easily after 3 years of lathering my heart with ice. But I had been blown away that you invested three months prior to our relationship in trying to know me and open me up. That was something new for me.

After the beating, came the anger. I convinced myself you had used me so that I could stop hurting so much. I was mad you chose to leave so easily. Despite the fact you were leaving for work purposes, you didn't HAVE to go. Since a majority of your family is down there, I somehow knew you would not return in ten days as planned. What angered me more was the fact that you cut our relationship. You didn't want me waiting around for you. You didn't know how long you'd be in Florida but you wanted me to "Do what I had to do." I took it as you just didn't care at all.

So I became numb. I started ignoring most of your calls (something I had never done). I stopped calling you. I stopped texting you. When I did pick up your call, you sensed something was wrong but I always managed to play it off. I know you knew I was mad but you never called me out on anything.

In December, I collected my sanity and gained more pride along with patience. It was easy at first until you began calling me every day, sometimes multiple times. I then decided to just give in and let whatever was suppose to happen ... just happen.

It is now February. You still call every day, usually multiple times. I no longer have to dial your number. You're the first person I think of when I wake up. I sometimes feel as though I am going crazy. You are visiting for a while in March for my birthday. You aren't sure if you will be leaving again once you get back. You despise Florida and miss the cold. But I'll tell you what, I'll be damned if I let you leave again so easily.

Wow just wow, I don't know what to say.

Anyways my saying is I think it is best to put the walls up build a moat and add pirahnas, and a few crocodiles, its easier.

-sigh- I know. I started out with pitbulls, barbed wire, a pit of fire, and walls of ice. He spent three months climbing every obstacle.

I don't either, I don't hate men, I love them, and I am not bitter at all, I just learn from experience, makes me a stronger person, oh I think I will add in the barbed wire fence also.

I am not bitter either. It's been three and a half years since my last serious relationship. I felt so strong. And like nothing could break me down. I have learned way too much from experience. I don't think i can handle another heartbreak.

Barbed wire is good.

No offense, but after reading that long message, a few things occurred to me.

I have this nagging feeling that the person for whom the message was intended is scared. It is like he knows that a commitment is expected, and yet he knows he can't make any promises because of his own situation. It is as if he doesn't want to mention this because he is afraid of the harm it may cause so silence is better. Still, he doesn't want to let go, nor does he want to hold you back. He just wants the door left open.

You know he is the one with the wall now, but you also see the cracks in that wall.

So, go slow, don't move too fast. Take the time to break down the wall the way he broke down yours, a little bit at a time. That requires patience. It sounds like he's not happy with being in Florida, but maybe he views it as a sacrifice for a better future. Maybe even a future with you. You know the situation better than us. In the end, I agree: Don't let him go without a fight, but also support his decision once you have done everything you can. Don't smother. Don't argue. Simply show him all the reasons why he should decide to stay, and if that is not enough, find out why and understand.

That is the best support I can give provided my own limited intelligence and experience.

No, I am grateful for your response. However I totally argue with everything you have stated.

He is scared to fall in love again. When he was a teenager the love of his life hooked up with his best friend. Although he claims he never fell in love again, he did marry and have children. He has long since been divorced.

When we got together, my friend questioned our relationship status. I allowed him to decided and he decided on a relationship and made sure I was in agreement. I know he cares. I don't smother him .. not even a bit. I keep all that stuff to myself. But I have asked questions. He's always said friends are a dollar in his pocket. I've questioned that about me in particular and he caught right on saying that I wasn't a booty call. We had a "thing" .. whatever that may mean .. relationship I think he meant.

I have bundles of patience for him and I don't know why. He lived with me for a short time before he left and he's questioned if he'd be allowed back. To which I said of course.

He hates Florida but is glad to have spent time with his family. He doesn't like where he is working and wants to return to his store up here.

I need to know what I should say to him when he comes back in March to visit. I don't want to sound crazy or insane. I'm good with words on paper .. when I have all the time I need to think. But not right on the spot. I don't want to mess it up.

Okay....that was part of what my last sentence meant. I was merely guessing based on very limited information. You seem to have caught on to that fact.

You also sound like me....I'm much better writing than speaking. I'm not good at the quick or witty comeback. On the other hand, when I did a lot of debate and public speaking, I was much better (through practice) at choosing my words quickly.

I catch on quickly to a lot of things. I just don't always appear as though I do.

I wish you luck with that, Wolf. I'd suggest you write a lot before he comes back, process it all. Sorry, not sure what else to suggest.

Thanks. I am :) I started a notebook a week after we started talking ... I know sounds crazy. I've never done such a thing before ... I just felt like he was someone worth dedicating a notebook too. I wanted to be able to remember everything like it was yesterday.

not crazy at all. i write frequently...especially when dealing with relationships and emotions. sometimes when i write, stuff comes out that i wasn't even aware of. i learn a lot from myself about myself through my writing. good luck.

You have hurt me repeatedly. Sometimes it was my fault, but this last one is on you. You may not have lied, but you weren't forthcoming about everything either. I am hurt that you could trivialize what we had, what we shared, what we did together. Maybe this time YOU will see what you missed out on.

In your face, all of you who have hurt me!

I'm working through my past and present colliding and am doing a lot of processing. Pardon me while I post random things to numerous people who are not here.

Oh, and I'd like to state to all that "Love Notes" don't have to be mushy things. Love encompasses an entire range of emotions and we are not always happy with the ones that we love. I feel that a "love note" is any written communication of any sort, even if we are expressing negative emotions. Communication is a key component to love. If we are communicating about feelings related to any person we love in any capacity, that is a "love note."

Please feel free to post/share any thoughts/feelings related to any of the people you love. Do remember that love is respectful. Thank you, and I hope that you enjoy the thread.

~Dina

Just a reminder about this thread... (updated...it's evolution of the thread!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a thread to write love notes. Secret or not so secret, it makes no difference. Express the love in your heart in here!

Who's on YOUR mind? What would you like to say to them right now? Share here. Let the love flow. Friends, family, romantic partners, companions, whoever. Share the love!

Oh, and I'd like to state to all that "Love Notes" don't have to be mushy things. Love encompasses an entire range of emotions and we are not always happy with the ones that we love. I feel that a "love note" is any written communication of any sort, even if we are expressing negative emotions. Communication is a key component to love. If we are communicating about feelings related to any person we love in any capacity, that is a "love note."

Please feel free to post/share any thoughts/feelings related to any of the people you love. Do remember that love is respectful.

Thank you, and I hope that you enjoy the thread.

~Dina~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just a reminder about this thread... (updated...it's evolution of the thread!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a thread to write love notes. Secret or not so secret, it makes no difference. Express the love in your heart in here!

Who's on YOUR mind? What would you like to say to them right now? Share here. Let the love flow. Friends, family, romantic partners, companions, whoever. Share the love!

Oh, and I'd like to state to all that "Love Notes" don't have to be mushy things. Love encompasses an entire range of emotions and we are not always happy with the ones that we love. I feel that a "love note" is any written communication of any sort, even if we are expressing negative emotions. Communication is a key component to love. If we are communicating about feelings related to any person we love in any capacity, that is a "love note."

Please feel free to post/share any thoughts/feelings related to any of the people you love. Do remember that love is respectful.

Thank you, and I hope that you enjoy the thread.

~Dina~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~