Today's Lesson - Conversation Starters

'Sup?

Nope, just ate, thank you though.

Just kicking it with the homies.

Them's some knockers you got there.

Hooterville is right down the road.

Wanna hang wit me?

OMG have you been sick?

Weather forecast for tonight: Dark.

Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

Speaking of darkness... i have an attitude problem that seems relentless... wanna hear abut it?

Sure... why not?

Aww, damn... I meant it as rhetorical.

Anyway, I was born on a cold summer's day in 19and61, see?
From there things went downhill...

... by the age of 2, I had fallen down a set of stairs and hit my head on every third step... er, so they tell me.

Hey didn't we go to different high schools together?

Haha, quite possible...
So, after the surgery they said that I would be quite normal.
Then Woodstock happened... my perception of who my sister was changed
rather drastically....

Class of 99?

Anyway, speaking of "perception," the other day I was sitting on my couch, and came to an epiphany of sorts. Yeah, after all these years I finally realized that my favorite color is: Clear.

...she started writing secret messages that focused on the shape of her hand, and stuck 'em in a ceramic chicken.
And while my young, pliable mind was interested in it all... Pablo Cruise came along and told me that I was on the right track
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9sbA2gnWHI
... accept peeps the way that they present themselves, and if ceramic chickens are involved... well, just avoid unpleasentness.

Well, 1899... I'm pretending to be Oscar Wilde...

I'm pretty ugly sure Oscar Wilde wore flip-flops.

And if you or anyone you know has ever thought about attacking someone with flip-flops you should know that flip-flops are not associated with defense in any way, shape or form. It is suggested you use something practical to keep those meddling kids from ruining all your greedy plans, such as pepper spray, a nightstick, a shotgun, a Chihuahua, or a Burmese tiger pit.

(This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by the following: "Mister Wilde, I put it to you that you are not like other men. Your fists, sir, are lethal weapons.")

I think that I'm starting to get the hang of this Communications - 101-thing... it's just a matter of timing, right?