I know myself well, so I know what I like in a man. I can't date moody, aggressive men, because pessimist's make me feel ill at ease. . So I stick around my friends who work in comedy. Sometimes I think positivity is everything.

I think most people have a benchmark... either consciously or subconciously, we all have them.

Like, When I see a man who is about 35, I think he should have a wife, 2 kids and a decent job.

So, when I meet a 35 year old man who says he's never been married and has no kids, I wonder " what's wrong with him"

NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH HIM, but I do think this.

I guess I am not understanding how we can have benchmarks for others. I have them for myself. Sometimes they are boundaries....the line where joking around at work has to be drawn or the line where manners must be regined in...and such


so I guess they can also be expectations because if I think manners are important then I'd like ly not get on well wtih someone who does not????

still not entirely clear on this

We all have infinite benchmarks that change infinitely (being infinitely variable).

I would love to end up with a man who has some similar qualities of a man I once knew.

But I'm not sure that's a benchmark exactly, because it's not as though I compare other men to him and want them to be just like him or anything. That would seem a little creepy to me actually.

I look for people who treat me as they would like to be treated. If they ask for me to be kind, they better be kind in return, etc. If you fall short of that, it doesn't work. And if you dish it out, you better be able to take it too. Things like that. I also judge men by how they treat people and creatures weaker than them. If they defend them and hold them in high esteem, they are a good guy. If they trample on them, forget it.

yeah, what the pig said

a benchmark is different than an expectation. it's something to measure by. like saying a car rides like a cadillac. cadillac being a benchmark that some people use to mean it's high quality. or this knife cuts like a razor. the razor being a benchmark for a smooth cut. of course benchmarks go the other way. he smelled like a wet dog, or she moves like molasses in winter. you see, just examples to measure bad odor and speed. your benchmarks could change if you find an example that is better or worse than your original benchmark

now your cooking with crisco!

I have my benchmarks or whatever you want to call them. I think they make us who we are.

the qualities you want belong to a certain man, so he could be a benchmark for you. you don't have to use the whole man, like you want someone who looks, talks, and acts like him. you could just use his character and find someone taller, shorter, older, younger, but with the same character as him

a benchmark just sets a standard for you to measure by. everything will be either as good or not as good as the benchmark you set. and as the pig said, your benchmark could change