The FBI had to take over the garbage business. Not many people know this, but the Mafia (known within the inner government as the Crime and Control Bureau) is a sister unit to the Federal Bureau of Investigations. The CCB lost this rich franchise...because it wasn’t doing a good job of it.

After all, the Crime and Control Bureau only used the “wealth” index as denominated against the “accessibility to blackmail” factor when they studied your garbage. This is a poor use of infinitely well-mined information. When our branch of the FBI sifts through your garbage, subjecting the data to post-doctoral analysis, we know everything that’s going on in your house, not just how rich or vulnerable you are.

Why did we take over the garbage business? Our government has more immediate and overriding concerns for this data, most of it having to do with how much of a criminal you are and how much longer you can be allowed “to be yourself” before you need "to be in a cell.” Cheers!