> >> > >Subject: FW: 10 COMMANDMENTS FUNNY


> > > "Excuse me, Sir."
> > >
> > > "Is that you again, Moses?"
> > >
> > > "I'm afraid it is, Sir."
> > >
> > > "What is it this time, Moses; more computer problems?"
> > >
> > > "How did you guess?"
> > >
> > > "I don't have to guess, Moses. Remember ?"
> > >
> > > "Oh, yes; I forgot."
> > >
> > > "Tell me what you want, Moses."
> > >
> > > "But you already know, Sir. Remember?"
> > >
> > > "Moses!"
> > >
> > > "Sorry, Sir."
> > >
> > > "Well, go ahead, Moses; spit it out."
> > >
> > > "Well, I have a question, Sir. You know those ten
'things'
>you
>sent
> > >me via e-mail?"
> > >
> > > "You mean the Ten Commandments, Moses?"
> > >
> > > "That's it. I was wondering if they are important."
> > >
> > > "What do you mean 'if they are important,' Moses? Of
course,
>they
> > >are important.
> > > Otherwise, I would not have sent them to you."
> > >
> > > "Well, sorry, Sir, but I lost them. I could say the dog
ate
>them;
> > >but, of course, you would see right through that."
> > >
> > > "What do you mean you 'lost them'? Are you trying to
tell me
>you
> > >didn't save them, Moses?"
> > >
> > > "No, Sir; I forgot."
> > >
> > > "You should always save, Moses."
> > >
> > > "Yes, I know. You told me that before. I was going to
save
>them,
> > >but I forgot. I did forward them to some people before I lost
them
>though."
> > >
> > > "And did you hear back from any of them?"
> > >
> > > "You already know I did. There was the one guy who said
he
>never
> > >uses 'shalt not.' May he change the words a little bit?"
> > >
> > > "Yes, Moses, as long as he does not change the meaning."
> > >
> > > "And what about the guy who thought your stance was a
little
>harsh,
> > >and recommended calling them the 'Ten Suggestions,' or letting
people
>pick
> > >one or two to try for a while?"
> > >
> > > "Moses, I will act as if I did not hear that."
> > >
> > > "I think that means 'no.' Well, what about the guy who
said I
>was
> > >scamming him?"
> > >
> > > "I think the term is 'spamming,' Moses."
> > >
> > > "Oh, yes. I E-mailed him back and told him I don't even
eat
>that
> > >stuff, and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through
a
> > >computer."
> > >
> > > "And what did he say?"
> > >
> > > "You know what he said. He used Your name in vain. You
don't
>think
> > >he might have sent me one of those -- err -- plagues, and that's
the
>reason
> > >I lost those ten 'things', do you?"
> > >
> > > "They are not plagues; they are called 'viruses,' Moses."
> > >
> > > "Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me.
Can
>we
>go
> > >back to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back taking them
out
>and
> > >reading them each day, but at least I never lost them."
> > >
> > > "We will do it the new way, Moses; using computers!!"
> > >
> > > "I was afraid you would say that, Sir."
> > >
> > > "Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?"
> > >
> > > "You told me to hold up this rat and point it toward the
>computer."
> > >
> > > "It's a mouse, Moses, not a rat. Mouse! Mouse!
> > > And did you do that?"
> > >
> > > "No, I decided to try calling technical support first.
After
>all,
> > >who knows more about this stuff than you? And I really like
your
>hours.
> > >By the way, Sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?"
> > >
> > > "No, Moses."
> > >
> > > "One other thing. Why did you not name them 'frog s'
instead
>of
> > >'mice,' because did you not tell me the thing they sit on is a
pad?"
> > >
> > > "I did not name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call
yours
>a
>frog
> > >if you want to."
> > >
> > > "Oh, that explains it. I bet some woman told Adam to
call it
>a
> > >mouse. After all, was it not a woman who named one of the
computers
> > >'Apple?'"
> > >
> > > "Say good night, Moses."
> > >
> > > "Wait a minute, Sir. I am pointing the mouse, and it
seems to
>be
> > >working. Yes, a couple of the ten 'things' have come back."
> > >
> > > "Which ones are they, Moses?"
> > >
> > > "Let me see.
> > > 'Thou shalt not steal from any grave an image' and
> > > 'Thou shalt not uncover Thy neighbor's wife.'"
> > >
> > > "Turn the computer off, Moses.
> > > I'm sending you another set of stone tablets."
> > >

Interesting variation.

I liked that one, lol