September 1st will be her 65th birthday. There will be no cake, there will be no casino like we planned this time last year.There will be nothing ....just another day. Do we celebrate it? do we sit around and cry? Does it even matter?

yes it matters...shes still with u in ure heart

I agree. She would want you to remember the happy times and spend tomorrow celebrating her memory and her life.

May I ask who?

Celebrate her life!!! Honour her!!! Tomorrow would be my Mother's 75 birthday, and she will be honoured, as she is every day!!!


How can they live, in memory, or heart, if we do not recall them?

What did they give, if we choose to forget?

Honour those we love.

I dont know youre circumstances dawnette..is it your mom???

Let me tell you a little something I dont really share...my mom will be 67 sept 2......she has been in a care home....for 2 years......I work there!! She has had early alzheimers since she was 54...My dad and I took care of her as best we could for 12 years at home...

What do I get someone who barely recognizes me??? Who doesnt know me??? Buy her perfume??? why? Buy her stuff she would enjoy if her mind were there but she is not.........what could I possibly get her?????

Gyps...she has your heart. That's more than enough.


Dawnette, just "be" together. It doesn't matter what you do or how you do it. Just do it together. Happy birthday to her, btw! Hope it's a good one!

Thanks baygurl!!! Its just that I miss my mom sometimes....

alive but dead.....

That is so hard Gypsy, I don't know what the answer is, but I would hope she knows on some level that you are there. Alzheimer's is one ugly disease. I had an aunt with it, and remember the look in her eyes when she was first coming down with it, she looked at me and asked me "who that was?" - she was talking about my dad, her brother. She had this strange, "no one is home" kind of look in her eyes. My first experience with it.

Just tell her you love her for her birthday, that is all you can do, don't need to buy her anything, maybe a flower to brighten her room.

Dawnette, the same answer I would give for your question.

thanks Marie!!!

Dawnette........I feel everything you do!!! Im sorry if I jacked your thread.....

Thoughts and prayers for you both

Thanks everyone for the kind words! Gypsy you did'nt jack my thread last night.... I think it was just hitting me hard , thoughts were wandering....( maybe I just needed to vent somehow)
Yes it is my mom's birthday, she died June 29 from lung(mastasized to the bone)cancer.She would be 65 today if it weren't for the desease. We found out last Jan. and she did'nt even make it 6 mths.I held her hand as she left this world.
Me and the kids will go out and eat later and play some lottery numbers for her and maybe even bake a cake.Then the day will be over and we'll go on with everyday things.Makes ya think huh?

I am sorry about your mom gypsy..she may know you are there or she may not..... I sat with my mom and have no idea if she knew we there with her at the end. But, I knew I was there all I could be as she was for me for 42 yrs.

I work on an Alzheimer's unit myself.I wish I knew the person the families knew and I feel their loss but Gypsy go in and give your Mom a big hug and bring pictures and reminisce about the old days.She will remember somethings and just the company will brighten her day.hugs to you.
Dawnette my condolences to you and I'm glad you are going out to celebrate you Mom's memory.

I think that also maybe we learn...my mom did not leave a will,though she didn't have much...she did have a home and a small amount of $ in the bank. We actually thought she had longer to make decisions. She wouldn't sign anything when we told her ~ now, my brother and I are stuck with alot of debts. But,in her mind that was signing her life away.....and we couldn't convince her to think otherwise..so be it. I don't regret it ..because that last few weeks she had in her home was in "her home".

My mother also passed from metastisised cancer... and very similar by the sounds,as to where it had spread...just reading your post made me smile, my Mum was exactly the same...and also wanted to be at home...

It's the 2nd of September here, her birthday, as well as Father's day...so yes a day spent in reflection and laughter for both my mother and father, and my children's father..

yes you should have a big party. get someone to strip. get crazy drunk. make sure everyone pukes and have plenty of asprin. have fun wish i could come.

Jess how do you get over it or at least come to terms with it? I know that time heals all wounds and I don't dwell on it,,,but from time to time I feel guilty or overwhelmed that this happened and I couldn't help her.

well i dont feel too sorry for gypsy. She found SLAMMING my AUTISTIC KID worth while. Just being HONEST.