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| Topic: 2nd Chances | |
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Do you give second chances? When do you and where do you draw the line and say "no?" I tend to look at it from a "how will this benefit me?" standpoint, myself. If it will benefit me, I will give second chances.....and third :) I am referring mostly to relationship issues, but really in a more general sense as well. I give second chances because I know people make mistakes. Unfortunately the woman I fell in love with does not, and I made a mistake.  I have made my share too. We all have. If she is that unforgiving, you may have dodged a bullet, hip 
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Do you give second chances? When do you and where do you draw the line and say "no?" I tend to look at it from a "how will this benefit me?" standpoint, myself. If it will benefit me, I will give second chances.....and third :) I am referring mostly to relationship issues, but really in a more general sense as well. Depends on the situation, each one has its own little details...I do however give very few second chances out, and never a third. Fool me once, f* you; fool me twice, f* off. no one likes to be fooled. In non-personal situations I take that up a level to; you won;t get a chance to fool me twice...lol I don;t mean to get religious on y'all here cuz it's not that forum, but your comment brings to mind the story of jesus asking the mob who would be free of sin and therefore qualified to cast the first stone. If we can just take the situation out of the religious context and look at the moral of the story for a personal situation. no one is blameless. no one goes through life never making a mistake. Do you think sometimes mistakes can be unitentional? What then? |
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Do you give second chances? When do you and where do you draw the line and say "no?" I tend to look at it from a "how will this benefit me?" standpoint, myself. If it will benefit me, I will give second chances.....and third :) I am referring mostly to relationship issues, but really in a more general sense as well. Depends on the situation, each one has its own little details...I do however give very few second chances out, and never a third. Fool me once, f* you; fool me twice, f* off. no one likes to be fooled. In non-personal situations I take that up a level to; you won;t get a chance to fool me twice...lol I don;t mean to get religious on y'all here cuz it's not that forum, but your comment brings to mind the story of jesus asking the mob who would be free of sin and therefore qualified to cast the first stone. If we can just take the situation out of the religious context and look at the moral of the story for a personal situation. no one is blameless. no one goes through life never making a mistake. Do you think sometimes mistakes can be unitentional? What then? Sure, mistakes can obviously be unintentional...Best way to make sure they don't make the same mistake again is to remove the possibility. It is my experience that inevitably they make the same mistake again, or very similar mistakes...Therefore I adapted to insure the least amount of loss on my end. |
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Do you give second chances? When do you and where do you draw the line and say "no?" I tend to look at it from a "how will this benefit me?" standpoint, myself. If it will benefit me, I will give second chances.....and third :) I am referring mostly to relationship issues, but really in a more general sense as well. Depends on the situation, each one has its own little details...I do however give very few second chances out, and never a third. Fool me once, f* you; fool me twice, f* off. no one likes to be fooled. In non-personal situations I take that up a level to; you won;t get a chance to fool me twice...lol I don;t mean to get religious on y'all here cuz it's not that forum, but your comment brings to mind the story of jesus asking the mob who would be free of sin and therefore qualified to cast the first stone. If we can just take the situation out of the religious context and look at the moral of the story for a personal situation. no one is blameless. no one goes through life never making a mistake. Do you think sometimes mistakes can be unitentional? What then? I know this wasn't addressed to me Sweet, but your thread has lots and lots of meaning...Meaning in the form of personal experiences, painful personal experiences...Maybe I'm a total dumb azz, but when I make a decision to give second chances, I base the decision on my ability to forgive, not on the other person's ability to avoid repeating the mistake...Of course I have limits, but mostly it's about not wanting to become cynical...I'm more willing to take the hits when they come, less willing to avoid potential relationships based on past bad experiences.... |
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I give people more chances, then they deserve.always.
But that is to give my own heart peace. I can only count on one hand.. peeps I have not.I have to be pushed to a very dark place for that to happen,where My demons live. |
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There are also certain people who we are stuck with like our siblings.
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There are also certain people who we are stuck with like our siblings. Hear you and raise you $10,000!!!!
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There are also certain people who we are stuck with like our siblings. Hear you and raise you $10,000!!!! I'll fold I got a good hand but not worth betting money over.
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Do you give second chances? When do you and where do you draw the line and say "no?" I tend to look at it from a "how will this benefit me?" standpoint, myself. If it will benefit me, I will give second chances.....and third :) I am referring mostly to relationship issues, but really in a more general sense as well. I give second chances because I know people make mistakes. Unfortunately the woman I fell in love with does not, and I made a mistake. I have made my share too. We all have. If she is that unforgiving, you may have dodged a bullet, hip I cannot help but still love her, eventually it will fade away. sigh. |
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Do you give second chances? When do you and where do you draw the line and say "no?" I tend to look at it from a "how will this benefit me?" standpoint, myself. If it will benefit me, I will give second chances.....and third :) I am referring mostly to relationship issues, but really in a more general sense as well. I give second chances because I know people make mistakes. Unfortunately the woman I fell in love with does not, and I made a mistake. I have made my share too. We all have. If she is that unforgiving, you may have dodged a bullet, hip I cannot help but still love her, eventually it will fade away. sigh. she may still love you too,,,we often love people that we may not be good with,,,, 
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Do you give second chances? When do you and where do you draw the line and say "no?" I tend to look at it from a "how will this benefit me?" standpoint, myself. If it will benefit me, I will give second chances.....and third :) I am referring mostly to relationship issues, but really in a more general sense as well. Depends on the situation, each one has its own little details...I do however give very few second chances out, and never a third. Fool me once, f* you; fool me twice, f* off. no one likes to be fooled. In non-personal situations I take that up a level to; you won;t get a chance to fool me twice...lol I don;t mean to get religious on y'all here cuz it's not that forum, but your comment brings to mind the story of jesus asking the mob who would be free of sin and therefore qualified to cast the first stone. If we can just take the situation out of the religious context and look at the moral of the story for a personal situation. no one is blameless. no one goes through life never making a mistake. Do you think sometimes mistakes can be unitentional? What then? Sure, mistakes can obviously be unintentional...Best way to make sure they don't make the same mistake again is to remove the possibility. It is my experience that inevitably they make the same mistake again, or very similar mistakes...Therefore I adapted to insure the least amount of loss on my end. I agree. I think people can make the same "mistakes," or what we perceive as mistakes as part of the nature of being human.....even as they are learning and trying not to make mistakes. sometimes mistakes can be in a gray area....what might drive you nuts might be something I would just say..."eh, whatever" about....a big thing to one person being less significant to another. I am not sure we can always "remove the possibilty." if you have made a mistake in a love situation, that means you will not try to love again? that seems a little pessimistic. by your own philosophy here, we have to come over and take the stoop away...lol |
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Do you give second chances? When do you and where do you draw the line and say "no?" I tend to look at it from a "how will this benefit me?" standpoint, myself. If it will benefit me, I will give second chances.....and third :) I am referring mostly to relationship issues, but really in a more general sense as well. Depends on the situation, each one has its own little details...I do however give very few second chances out, and never a third. Fool me once, f* you; fool me twice, f* off. no one likes to be fooled. In non-personal situations I take that up a level to; you won;t get a chance to fool me twice...lol I don;t mean to get religious on y'all here cuz it's not that forum, but your comment brings to mind the story of jesus asking the mob who would be free of sin and therefore qualified to cast the first stone. If we can just take the situation out of the religious context and look at the moral of the story for a personal situation. no one is blameless. no one goes through life never making a mistake. Do you think sometimes mistakes can be unitentional? What then? I know this wasn't addressed to me Sweet, but your thread has lots and lots of meaning...Meaning in the form of personal experiences, painful personal experiences...Maybe I'm a total dumb azz, but when I make a decision to give second chances, I base the decision on my ability to forgive, not on the other person's ability to avoid repeating the mistake...Of course I have limits, but mostly it's about not wanting to become cynical...I'm more willing to take the hits when they come, less willing to avoid potential relationships based on past bad experiences.... I tend to agree. I think we have to find that balance for ourselves within ourselves and realize it is not always about us. to me, requiring others to "never" make a mistake again is a bit controlling and not particularly realistic. we are all human...in our mistakes, AND in our reactions to them...  |
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Do you give second chances? When do you and where do you draw the line and say "no?" I tend to look at it from a "how will this benefit me?" standpoint, myself. If it will benefit me, I will give second chances.....and third :) I am referring mostly to relationship issues, but really in a more general sense as well. I give second chances because I know people make mistakes. Unfortunately the woman I fell in love with does not, and I made a mistake. I have made my share too. We all have. If she is that unforgiving, you may have dodged a bullet, hip I cannot help but still love her, eventually it will fade away. sigh. she may still love you too,,,we often love people that we may not be good with,,,, that's a philosophy that I don;t get. why we would he love someone so unforgiving? or maybe she was using the "mistake" as excuse  to put some distance there.....
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I give people more chances, then they deserve.always. But that is to give my own heart peace. I can only count on one hand.. peeps I have not.I have to be pushed to a very dark place for that to happen,where My demons live. thank you for contributing. people should not push others to that point. to me that is a mark of stupidity....
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I agree. I think people can make the same "mistakes," or what we perceive as mistakes as part of the nature of being human.....even as they are learning and trying not to make mistakes. sometimes mistakes can be in a gray area....what might drive you nuts might be something I would just say..."eh, whatever" about....a big thing to one person being less significant to another. I am not sure we can always "remove the possibilty." if you have made a mistake in a love situation, that means you will not try to love again? that seems a little pessimistic. by your own philosophy here, we have to come over and take the stoop away...lol When the mistake becomes comparable to a broken record it is best to look within to find the problem, that is all I have done...Looked inside, figured out the problem, and removed the possibility of it hindering me or others later. I'm not pessimistic, I am realistic...And I have loved once, but I'm of the frame of mind that the once in a lifetime thing doesn't happen but once, and in that I hinder the possibility of future relationships. I'm okay with that, I find most relationships to be a waste of my time and all of them ended due to my inability to emotionally attach myself to the "Us." That in and of itself is a problem far larger than me, or anyone else. |
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Edited by
msharmony
on
Sat 12/14/13 09:53 AM
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Do you give second chances? When do you and where do you draw the line and say "no?" I tend to look at it from a "how will this benefit me?" standpoint, myself. If it will benefit me, I will give second chances.....and third :) I am referring mostly to relationship issues, but really in a more general sense as well. I give second chances because I know people make mistakes. Unfortunately the woman I fell in love with does not, and I made a mistake. I have made my share too. We all have. If she is that unforgiving, you may have dodged a bullet, hip I cannot help but still love her, eventually it will fade away. sigh. she may still love you too,,,we often love people that we may not be good with,,,, that's a philosophy that I don;t get. why we would he love someone so unforgiving? or maybe she was using the "mistake" as excuse to put some distance there..... depends upon what one means by 'unforgiving',, having been there and done that,,, my husband made 'mistakes' as well and I forgave them, but I also wasn't willing to risk the odds they would happen again,, so I still love him to this day, more than I have loved since, and I did 'forgive' those mistakes,, although to him,, because I chose not to stay,, I chose not to forgive,,,, I chose not to stay so I could continue to love him and not grow to hate him ,,,,,that's sometimes hard for people to grasp |
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I agree. I think people can make the same "mistakes," or what we perceive as mistakes as part of the nature of being human.....even as they are learning and trying not to make mistakes. sometimes mistakes can be in a gray area....what might drive you nuts might be something I would just say..."eh, whatever" about....a big thing to one person being less significant to another. I am not sure we can always "remove the possibilty." if you have made a mistake in a love situation, that means you will not try to love again? that seems a little pessimistic. by your own philosophy here, we have to come over and take the stoop away...lol When the mistake becomes comparable to a broken record it is best to look within to find the problem, that is all I have done...Looked inside, figured out the problem, and removed the possibility of it hindering me or others later. I'm not pessimistic, I am realistic...And I have loved once, but I'm of the frame of mind that the once in a lifetime thing doesn't happen but once, and in that I hinder the possibility of future relationships. I'm okay with that, I find most relationships to be a waste of my time and all of them ended due to my inability to emotionally attach myself to the "Us." That in and of itself is a problem far larger than me, or anyone else. thanks for the clarification. I think I may have misunderstood some of what you were saying.
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Do you give second chances? When do you and where do you draw the line and say "no?" I tend to look at it from a "how will this benefit me?" standpoint, myself. If it will benefit me, I will give second chances.....and third :) I am referring mostly to relationship issues, but really in a more general sense as well. I give second chances because I know people make mistakes. Unfortunately the woman I fell in love with does not, and I made a mistake. I have made my share too. We all have. If she is that unforgiving, you may have dodged a bullet, hip I cannot help but still love her, eventually it will fade away. sigh. she may still love you too,,,we often love people that we may not be good with,,,, that's a philosophy that I don;t get. why we would he love someone so unforgiving? or maybe she was using the "mistake" as excuse to put some distance there..... depends upon what one means by 'unforgiving',, having been there and done that,,, my husband made 'mistakes' as well and I forgave them, but I also wasn't willing to risk the odds they would happen again,, so I still love him to this day, more than I have loved since, and I did 'forgive' those mistakes,, although to him,, because I chose not to stay,, I chose not to forgive,,,, I chose not to stay so I could continue to love him and not grow to hate him ,,,,,that's sometimes hard for people to grasp there is no need to grow to hate him. I admire those with that level of thinking. For a long time I also thought I still loved my ex husband....out of a "responsibility" promised in the marital commitment. I have since learned that this is wrong thinking. I don;t love, hate, or forgive, or not forgive where he is concerned. I have chosen the belief, however, that I cannot love someone who has done the things that did occur. That I have mentally compartmentalized. I will have to find love elsewhere...in my view if what that is. and in view of the topic....I guess I will be looking for another chance :) thanks, harmony, for being here. |
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I agree. I think people can make the same "mistakes," or what we perceive as mistakes as part of the nature of being human.....even as they are learning and trying not to make mistakes. sometimes mistakes can be in a gray area....what might drive you nuts might be something I would just say..."eh, whatever" about....a big thing to one person being less significant to another. I am not sure we can always "remove the possibilty." if you have made a mistake in a love situation, that means you will not try to love again? that seems a little pessimistic. by your own philosophy here, we have to come over and take the stoop away...lol When the mistake becomes comparable to a broken record it is best to look within to find the problem, that is all I have done...Looked inside, figured out the problem, and removed the possibility of it hindering me or others later. I'm not pessimistic, I am realistic...And I have loved once, but I'm of the frame of mind that the once in a lifetime thing doesn't happen but once, and in that I hinder the possibility of future relationships. I'm okay with that, I find most relationships to be a waste of my time and all of them ended due to my inability to emotionally attach myself to the "Us." That in and of itself is a problem far larger than me, or anyone else. thanks for the clarification. I think I may have misunderstood some of what you were saying. The problem is I have no scope of emotions, I don't understand why people feel the way they do in whatever situation they find themselves in. When I am presented with a problem I logically find a solution, where emotions are present, the solution is often better for me to just walk away. The best way to put it is that I see life like The Matrix, only not 1's and 0's...I see it in differing shades of grey. |
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