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| Topic: My Mother Died | |
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Pls take my condulence
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Friday would have marked her birthday. Honestly I do not remember her age. But that does not matter. She died a month ago on her wedding anniversary. And I was not there. Friday would have been her birthday. And again, I was not there. She wanted to be my best friend ans I was not there and it just makes me more and more like a no good daughter. I WAS NOT THERE FOR HER. how much of a daughter could have been. I loved my on and she really tried to reconnect me and I ignored her. I will forever think I am a horrible daughter. She was reaching out to me, and I did not help. Did I kill my mother? If I had tried to reconnect with her, maybe I could have changed her life stile to help with her health. you did not kill your mother. please do not be so hard on yourself in your grief. family issues of my own made it impossible to be w/ my mom when she died. it was very hard. she waited for me. the nursing home 1000 miles away where she was called me and put her on the phone with me. her voice was faint and we talked maybe 5-10 minutes and she told me she was tired that she loved me but was too tired and had to go. a day or two later I found out she passed just after that phone call. she was waiting to hear my voice & talk to me. I am not sure how I feel about all of that. |
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a day or two later I found out she passed just after that phone call. she was waiting to hear my voice & talk to me. I am not sure how I feel about all of that. She wanted to say goodbye and tell you she loved you. Then she could go in peace. I am sorry for your loss, sweetestgirl.  |
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Edited by
mysticalview21
on
Wed 07/16/14 02:51 PM
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op sometimes things they say are meant to be ...
you can't take anything back with circumstance... you wish you would have done ... or you feel bad about not doing ... its called regret... so you place the blame ... on yourself of her death ... naturally becouse... she dies before you decided not to speak to her... you can choose to hold on to the regret or you can just speak with her now... which may help... or write to her in a note book about your feelings... I never got to say good by to my mother ... least not properly divorce happens... and you sometimes don't see the other parent or talk to them right before they die ... but if you loved her she new that even if... u did not get to her she may have also... known how stubborn you are...talk with her now ... there are always going to be things you want to say to someone before they pass and even after that may not get that chance ... but they know they are very much missed ... may she rest in peace and I am sure you would want that for her too... |
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Ya - I hear ya and feel your pain. My mother died recently, too. Changes the way you see things. Chin up though, you have no choice as life continues to move fwd. No easy out on this one - just time.
Condolences. |
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I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.
I recently loss my mother earlier this year to cancer. My own mom and I were at odds and it was only when I realized she wasn't going to be around forever we began to make amends. I have a lot of regrets in my life about how I treated her and hated her for the things she did in the past. You need to learn to find peace with yourself... For all that your mother did she still was your mother and wouldn't wish for you to feel this way. She would want you to make the best of your life. At least I would hope that is every mother's intent! <3 It will take time before you can find a real smile again and see things in a more positive light. You're going to have good and bad days. It can be months, perhaps even a year or so, even longer, before you find things easier... But don't tear yourself up over it. It isn't good, instead, try to find someone you can talk to that you can trust in order to talk about whatever is bothering you. They might not have answers but trust me, just having someone to listen to you is enough! :) I wish you the best of luck in your healing process. May your mother rest in peace. |
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Thank you everybody. She was a wonderful person. But because her brother molested her she did not know how to love, and she tried to reach out to me. I turned my back thinking that why bother my parents were never there for me so what it the point now. It was her diet that killed her. She was eating nothing but yoghurt and cottage cheese when she died. 15 years ago when I was staying with her she was eating the same thing. I often wonder if we stayed in contact if I could have change her diet. She wanted to be my best fried and I wanted nothing of it because of her pass actions. here is a tip Op could I have helped her change her diet no and she might not have liked you for trying to do that... I am sure and the last time someone I new changed their diet ... they died ...so thought to self ...should have just left it alone ... would they have lived longer ... but then realized why they died and really was not from that ... and I never new my mother much either since a child ... and really not sure how I might have acted if she wanted back in my life ... but u did not kill her ... and I am sure she understood your anger ... and just know most of the time mothers love their child or children ... no matter where they are or how they are treated ... it pretty much goes under unconditionally... feel better soon ...
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Edited by
Pengwen
on
Sun 09/07/14 02:40 PM
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I felt that way when my father died in 2004 and up to now I still bear that guilt. I use that guilt to remind me to treasure all the loved ones I still have around.
My condolences and I hope you find peace in your heart to forgive yourself. |
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No, you didn't kill your mother. You were protecting yourself by not having contact with her. There is a natural bond/love between a mother and daughter. She loved you and you love her and I hope that you can work through your guilt. I wish you happiness
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