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Topic: 10 SMALL ACTS IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT ARE A BIG DEAL
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Tue 06/02/15 09:08 PM
These are all wonderful Iamflowerforyou


:thumbsup: I agree. And a great OP. Good too see you Leighflowerforyou {{{IamwhoIam}}} drinker


Thank you, ladies. :heart:

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Tue 06/02/15 09:13 PM

WOW, IamWhoIam; that first list is a great guide on how to manage a good relationship for 'DUMMIES' and it shouldn't be so hard and yet for some it seems obvious that it WILL BE! noway
So well worth the effort to post - 4 sure! LOL


:heart: love flowerforyou

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Tue 06/02/15 09:15 PM

Washing her/his undies, manicure, winks at dinning table, scratch her/his back, surprised appreciation party, special pet name for him/her, helping in the kitchen and house chores, whispers to his/her ears, etc etc etc. African men are experts in caring for their spouses!!


Uche, I may reconsider that swirl! love :heart: :tongue:

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Tue 06/02/15 09:17 PM

Thank you for the advice. I will use them one day. I have copied a paste into a file.


Anytime, Annie. flowerforyou

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Tue 06/02/15 09:18 PM

Got that covered...and more.
My Sweetie makes these things seem as natural as breathing.
Truth.


I'm happy for both of you, sweets. drinker

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Tue 06/02/15 09:24 PM
Edited by IamwhoIam1 on Tue 06/02/15 09:26 PM



What ever happened to people just behaving normally.

I would think if you were an ok sort of person then all on that list would just come natural anyway.


The list is for people who are not ok Joe....Now stop complaining and say something nice to Iam...:tongue:

Well that's me told off lmao.

Iam knows I would never be rude to her, she's a cool chick and she's from the big Apple, so she probably knows some of the mob.
noway


Joe, don't tick off the Mingle thug. You know that I have a temper. You're not going to like it when I get angry. explode

Have you joined my gang yet? There will be gang initiation rites.

See here for more details. smokin





GreenSorcery's photo
Wed 06/03/15 04:43 AM
Edited by GreenSorcery on Wed 06/03/15 05:13 AM




There are steps, or spokes to the wheel of love's momentum that must keep going or love dies in a ditch ...


Yes we can call them as we do others... Arms, spokes, steps etc... The list is endless of words we use. Whether we us terminology or if we pick up a text book.. semantics is all that is IMHO


yes "FEAR"
Sitka, Darling, you are very close to the reality. 1st comes love then Intimacy.

Au contraire I have to disagree with you not even in the sexual sense does love come before intimacy.. Can't happen if we use either the logical or emotional sense of said word. Intimacy has to come first.

Intimacy actually means when someone knows you better than you know yourself (not what people think it means).


Actually you are not quite correct if we take Webster, meridian, or Oxford definition of the word Intimacy it means nothing more than being close...Hell I have had intimate conversations with my grandchildren..

IF we put it in layman's terms and break it down as I have done many times with clients and colleagues "Intimacy means In to me U C"... really quite simple nothing to fear.
I don't believe that to have intimacy with another person, means that the other person knows me better than I know myself. That just isn't going to happen the only way for that to happen is over time. OF being intimate for a very long time and then only in certain aspects of me.



Terrifying for most people to be known so well .

For some maybe, others will embrace it totally, myself being one of them.


and there are 5 more steps after "Intimacy" just as scary if not more frightening than Intimacy.


When I hear this I have to kind of chuckle since I am not a great believer in saying there are a set number of steps in things.

For example we state there are 5 levels of grieving and then we break it down and there are so many more subcategories..So IMHO what one person labels as 5 could be another person 2, 14,56.. infinity.

Not knowing what to expect with true love and jumping in the pool is a bad idea, IMHO love


Again I think this is as subjective as the other above and the lists that were printed.. I personally don't believe it is a bad idea of jumping into the pool....Heck half the fun is the world of discovery...

Again not bashing or trashing just discussing...bigsmile



Doubt I can edit all this correctly sorry, still adjusting.
Wow lot of effort, so nice to get your reply, I return the effort.

"half the fun" - Not if we fail because we were too surprised by something we didn't discuss first, brokenheart hence not shocked or frighten in surprise ... so many ways to take that ... but let's stick just to heart stuff for now.

Love first because without Love we would not bother to get to know them on that deep level - better than they know their own self. But it's just the first level of Love, and there are things we don't do on that level, you can imagine. We must get to the next level first < as I was once told years ago, and she was RIGHT. Yes someone told me before I knew there even WERE next levels. (confused smiley)

Semantics are important, and we must agree on the definition or we cant use words to communicate - "Arms, spokes, steps etc..." - these ARE the steps. Or spokes, if we see it as a wheel going round and round repeating the steps to the next higher level of love.

"..if we take Webster, meridian, or Oxford definition.." we cant use inadequate definitions, conceived far too long ago. Understanding evolves. They must be continually updated.

"..really quite simple nothing to fear."
One of the cautions (there are 4) when working with Mystery is::
3. Looking to make it simple rather than complex to make it mundane and ordinary rather than mystical and extraordinary. Cautions us not to do that. (you want to see the other 3, for certain)
Imagine someone knows you better than you know yourself ... the majority aren't so comfortable with that, according to the data.

"For some maybe, others will embrace it totally, myself being one of them." Then it's a date for some research, proof is in the pudding. glasses Show me!

"..we state there are 5 levels of grieving.." yes more inadequate consensus definition, that is not up to date, is the 5 stages of grief, there are actually 7 .. okay I'm so tempted ... a picture is worth 1000 words, so I will draw the picture of grief and the wheel of love's momentum to higher levels (round and round)... it would take a chapter to do it justice and if your definition is different to what I'm thinking, it will fail. Even each step title must be defined correctly. Ready for new things?

Grief;
1. Denial
2nd or 3rd. Anger (reversible position order depending on idiosyncratic nature)
2nd or 3rd. Rejection and refusal of acceptance
4. Guilt for getting angry and not facing it more honestly (guilt anger you think you don't have a right to have)
5. Bargaining, if only this or that
6. Depression (repressed/depressed anger you think you'll get into trouble for expressing)
7. Disorientation that leads to integration, acceptance, changing, moving off of grief

That is 3 types of anger in all. Raw anger and anger with the masks of guilt and depression. How did we get on grief? sad

Wheel of love's momentum to higher levels;
1. In the depth of Love there is Intimacy (someone knows u better ..)
2. In the depth of Intimacy there is Magic (core type is Resonance out of nowhere, "whoa what was that, where did it come from?!")
3. In the depth of Magic there is Choice (scary because what if I make the wrong choice)
4. In the depth of Choice there are Miracles (7 reasons people resist miracles defined as that change happening inside of you)
5. In the depth of the Miraculous there is Majesty (scary awesome)
6. In the depth of the Majestic there is Magnificence (scary spectacular)
7. In the depth of the Magnificent there is a new level of Love

Resonance;
Standing wave that emerges from the liminal, between harmonic frequencies of vibration, oscillating with greater amplitude than the emissions : a quality that makes something personally meaningful or important to someone. The interference pattern of harmonic frequencies of vibration does not cause the Standing Wave. Rather it emerges from the liminal, from nowhere.

:heart: BANG! A standing wave EXPLOSION of LOVE. Sparks so strong we never felt before, get ready and prepared for this one !!!! love So it doesn't knock us out of the pool.

That was just the prep outline. Now the real "half the fun" begins ... what happens in detail is the "exploration."

Love's mystery is endless and will never be resolved. Prep for the experience of a lifetime is a good idea when there is potential for loss. Jumping too soon is not such a good idea. And only each person can decide if they're ready, no one else. I am too ... xoxo

Sincerely, (anagram) GreenSorcery Ph.D on a higher level smokin

"..not a great believer in saying there are a set number of steps in things" 7 colors to the rainbow, believe it :wink: .. when you have all 7, you have a synergy whose parts combine to make a whole greater than just the sum of its parts (white light)

Out of time for today, all apologies if I failed to explain it enough or correctly enough with words that make sense to you. Not for lack of effort tho ohwell


GreenSorcery's photo
Wed 06/03/15 12:37 PM
Edited by GreenSorcery on Wed 06/03/15 12:39 PM
How did we get on grief? Perhaps we didn't prepare for the ride, got scared and the wheel broke down and we didn't get to the next level and the love we once felt died in a ditch sad

the 2nd spoke is always the most profound
the 5th spoke is always the most liberating, liberates the process.

For the purposes of illumination, enumeration. ...

Resistance to Miracles
1. The attitude of male chauvinism sees wanting and asking for miracles as weak, the act of desperate person. The price of male chauvinism is the loss of miracles.
2. Miracles come from beyond and therefore put you outside of control and make you feel outside of control. People don't want to deal with miracles because they are so afraid of being out of control.
3. Being of a quantum principle, miracles are unpredictable so people resist miracles.
4. The biggest and most poignant resistance is guilt. Why did I get a miracle and not someone else? There must be some duty, obligation or conditions that I would have to meet because I got a miracle. And I think this way because of the guilt.
5. I don't what to share the credit for this success with a miracle. I want all the credit.
6. Living the lie is still too important, still too invested in the past.
7. Lack of trust in your spirituality, in goddess, in your soul and higher self. And the fear of relying on the Trust you do have.

GreenSorcery's photo
Wed 06/03/15 01:06 PM
Edited by GreenSorcery on Wed 06/03/15 01:56 PM
Remember there are *FOUR* cautions I only gave one. Aren't you a little bit curious?


the 2nd spoke is always the most profound
the 5th spoke is always the most liberating, liberates the process.


also note the litmus test for a true synergy is the quality of the 2nd and 5th positions as previously mentioned. also we perceive, a mirrored reflection of the harmonic frequencies around the core (#4)

1 and 7 seem to reflect each other, 2 and 6, 3 and 5, a mirrored image when assembled, each reflecting its counterpart.

GreenSorcery's photo
Wed 06/03/15 01:42 PM
Edited by GreenSorcery on Wed 06/03/15 02:08 PM
Forum rules apply: Is there a rule says you must have fun? It's been that for sure. Sweet waters

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