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For those of you just tuning in, here is part 2
of my visit to India. I'm the bestman for my
friend AJ's wedding.

Quick Back Drop: Ajay-my friend of nearly 10yrs,
Pardeep-His younger brother, Manju-Sister,
Aarti-Youngest Sister

See Part 2 at:
http://www.justsayhi.com/topic/show/42470
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Punjabi Weddings are not even in the category of what we'd call a "wedding". Extravaganza falls short. Its a three day affair.

Day 2 is when the local friends and relatives come to the home. The guys get together and drink whiskey in a room and watch cricket. Drinking whiskey is a particular social rite that is very complex. Firstly, its socially "un-acceptable" to drink any alcohol. It gets a "wink/wink" only on supreme family occasions (such as a wedding). A junior man can't drink. For example, Pardeep, AJ's brother is 22/23. He's not "old enough" to drink. He knows it, and doesnt challenge it. This concept simply flows downhill. The guys who are on the edge of being "old enough" to drink [like Pardeep] eventually self-declare that they are old enough, and will slip away for a polite drink among their peers. They dont let on to anyone that they've made this decision, and damn sure they dont get drunk because they'd get a rash of grief from mothers/wives. AJ is 30s, so he and I are "peers" in the Whiskey game, recently his sister married to a guy in his late 20s. To mark the occasion of my attendance AJ pulled me and the brother-in-law out for a quick drink. The brother in law was visibly nervous and unsure if he should even acknowledge the invite. I made the mistake of inviting Pardeep to join us, and he politely demurred without explaining - it took awhile for me to realize his reasons. Its not like our idea of drinking - there are no bars, and you dont drink to get smashed. Its just a social rite done for the sake of bonding.

I get special treatment though. Partly because I'm knocking on 40, and partly because I'm the foriegn dignitary at the wedding. AJ's uncles are very tight, and its obvious this was the "whiskey peer group" of the previous generation. When I came for Manju's wedding some years ago, the uncles took me to a speak-easy. Yeah, a real speak-easy. You need to know someone to know where to ask. But, they didnt invite AJ because he was too "junior" at the time. They were amused to death at my drinking whiskey straight. Since they dont really "drink", they put an ounce of booze, and then add a glass-full of soda water to make it drinkable. My brazen drinking it straight became the "guy gossip" of the last four years.

On this trip, they were prepared and tried to slip me whiskey at any occasion. They were all too happy to be having a "little more than usual", and amusing themselves watching the Yank drink the stuff straight. Even at a late breakfast they *insisted* that I join them. When in Rome... So I had my polite two shots worth, and one of the uncles had his watered down two shots - and promptly passed out.

The family also has a good number of young males 19-22. They were all over me like flies to a barnyard. Asking so many questions about the US. Whats the fastest car? How much does this/that cost? What is a good career choice? Should we apply to study in the US or Australia? I remembered them from the last occasion, and it was fun to hang with them. For a little while. For three days, I have been badgered about the US. Its nice, and they LOVE having the occasion to speak english. I noticed a real difference in skill from 4yrs ago.

While the men are sneaking their whiskey, the women gather in the foyer and sing folk-songs for hours. Saying it this way sounds like some African Discovery gawk-fest. Its not. They're having a good ol' time joking, jabbing, and singing. Just good ol' "tradition". Eventually, the singing turns to dancing. Old and young - from 2yrs old to 80, every woman gets into it.

I've lost track of what day this is. The wedding was last night. It started at 6pm. When I arrived, the first thing AJ said to me was "What happened to you? You lost so much weight and your hair went white?!?!" Now that the wedding day is here, he says to me on the sly, "hey why dont you get your hair dyed? it will be better for pictures, and for the ladies of course". Wise ass. I flip-flopped back and forth. What the hell, why not give into vanity and insecurity. I agreed. "Good, tommorow you and I will goto the salon for these things". Only after saying "yes" did the reality of things come to mind. Simple things like "what if my hair turns wine-red? ACK! what if it falls out!" Somehow the chaos of a wedding blocked any such luxury. I think I'm glad for it. The family gave me a traditional punjabi wedding party gown to wear. Very nice. Its good too because I didnt actually pack a proper wedding "suit".

Oh boy did I cause heads to turn being the only white-guy in a full punjabi wedding party get-up. Truely people stopped in mid-sentance to gawk at me as I walked by. It was great fun for the first 20 minutes. Got old quickly as I started to feel more like the black-faced-negro-immitator of the 1930s. Punjabi weddings are, "different"

Thanks, Mike. Interesting about the whiskey. Waiting impatiently for more wedding details. Donna