Hello Everyone,

I just joined this website in an effort to find true love. I am quite naive when it comes to men. I am too shy when they approach me in the gym or in the city and too eager to talk to them online. I scare them off:p Do you have any tips on how to interact with men?

Ladies in a relationship and guys please help!
Thanks in advance! :*

Hello Everyone,

I just joined this website in an effort to find true love. I am quite naive when it comes to men. I am too shy when they approach me in the gym or in the city and too eager to talk to them online. I scare them off:p Do you have any tips on how to interact with men?

Ladies in a relationship and guys please help!
Thanks in advance! :*

Ah. Okay, first, since you feel naive when it comes to men, that translates to the certainty that you need to be MORE sure about YOURSELF. As a one time paralized-by-shyness person myself, I eventually learned that a big part of my fear about approaching and dealing with women, was actually that if I started talking to one and took too long to realize whether I actually wanted to talk to her or not, that she would take offense, or see me as weak.

The key to that is to study YOURSELF when you are attracted to someone, and figure out WHY you are so attracted. From there, you can work out some sort of idea of how to test your attraction.

Another basic shy-person trick, is to practice conversing casually to EVERYONE. Especially to people you are NOT attracted to. That develops your ability to chat with a stranger without blurting out something embarrassing, or coming on too strong, and so on.

In the end, the people saying "be yourself" are right, but to do that, you need to KNOW yourself first.

What you test, is it's validity.

You find you are attracted to someone for a reason.

If it's purely physical, for example, you try talking to them and then, if things progress enough, you do something together to find out if you find each other's company pleasant or not. If you find that they look GREAT, but annoy you to no end in how they converse, or how they deal with others in front of you, then you have successfully TESTED the physical attraction, and found it to be not enough.

Or, you might do the same thing, and find that it IS enough, or even better, that they are cute AND engaging.

If you figure out on the other hand, that the reason you are attracted is that they remind you of someone else (a relative you liked,a previous GF/BF you lost), then you can observe them more carefully in interactions, to figure out if they have the characteristics you enjoyed about that other person, or if the likeness is only skin deep.

Quite simply: ALL social interactions with someone you are attracted to, are experiments. That is what dating is FOR. To TEST the rest of the person out, a bit at a time.

What you test, is it's validity.

You find you are attracted to someone for a reason.

If it's purely physical, for example, you try talking to them and then, if things progress enough, you do something together to find out if you find each other's company pleasant or not. If you find that they look GREAT, but annoy you to no end in how they converse, or how they deal with others in front of you, then you have successfully TESTED the physical attraction, and found it to be not enough.

Or, you might do the same thing, and find that it IS enough, or even better, that they are cute AND engaging.

If you figure out on the other hand, that the reason you are attracted is that they remind you of someone else (a relative you liked,a previous GF/BF you lost), then you can observe them more carefully in interactions, to figure out if they have the characteristics you enjoyed about that other person, or if the likeness is only skin deep.

Quite simply: ALL social interactions with someone you are attracted to, are experiments. That is what dating is FOR. To TEST the rest of the person out, a bit at a time.