Topic: Break ups in our marriages
Oertel Reichmann's photo
Sat 09/29/18 02:04 AM
Hello Good people, i hope we are all doing great ? i have thought about this a lot and i felt we should talk about it may be it could help to save some broken homes and hearts all over the world

My question is why the constant break up, divorce and separation after making vows and professing love to one another ? is it that it was not love that brought us together or is there some thing we came to find out about each that we can't condone or what please i need some one to say some thing, just be frank and open. thank you


Oertel

Red's photo
Sun 09/30/18 09:43 AM
Edited by Red on Sun 09/30/18 09:47 AM

Hello Good people, i hope we are all doing great ? i have thought about this a lot and i felt we should talk about it may be it could help to save some broken homes and hearts all over the world

My question is why the constant break up, divorce and separation after making vows and professing love to one another ? is it that it was not love that brought us together or is there some thing we came to find out about each that we can't condone or what please i need some one to say some thing, just be frank and open. thank you


Oertel


My first husband had a child with a girl thst was 10 years younger than me (she was 17), and my second husband physically assaulted my son. Those two acts don't signify "love, honor or protection" to me. And although I held up my end of our vows there was no part of my vows that said I had to be dishonored, feel unprotected by my spouse or watch myself or my child be constant victims of physical or mental abuse.

Some may say that I should have seen the warning signs prior to saying "I do" but somehow after dating both spouses for several years, they were able to hide those traits until they landed me. Then things went south. They started acting differently and freaking out. I didn't understand. By the time I thought to ask for help it was too late in my first marriage and in the second one he refused to see there was a problem.

Red's photo
Sun 09/30/18 10:07 AM
Thank you klc. I'm a firm believer i. whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. It took me 7 years to even date someone again and that relationship just ended over a year ago. I've been very slow to get back on the horse again, but being on this website has helped a little.

You are right though. So many women...and men feel a moral or religious obligation to remain in their marriage and at times it is to the detriment of themselves, their spouse and/or their children. They get so hung up on the "til death do us part" piece of the vow that they forgot what they promised to do for each other. For me, once both my husbands stopped doing what they promised, it was over for me.

Red's photo
Sun 09/30/18 10:17 AM
drinker
Cheers to bouncing back!!