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| Topic: Why do some people believe it is easier | |
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I am aware there are some people that are so clueless and bitter that they would not recognize an opportunity if it was akin to Boeing 777 flying twenty feet over their head. However, to be fair, that type of person doesn't normally get many opportunities.
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Edited by
🍫 KitKat 🍫
on
Sat 10/27/18 08:48 AM
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That last paragraph
 @ action And well@ cranky too  Great thread by the way.... |
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Sat 10/27/18 08:49 AM
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Well then..using your logic..where are all the guys that should have come up to *me* at the innumerable festivals, jams, book signings, cultural fairs, etc. I have been to? It's not one-sided....it works *both* ways... I'm well tired of the responsibility/ blame/ so called "excuses" being *my* fault... Let someone *else* take the initiative for once.. God knows *I* have several times, to no avail... This is actually how men like myself feel about dating in general. Why do so many women always expect the man to make the first move? I don't care what gender you are -- if you're interested in someone, tell them....somehow....make your interest clear. The problem is that people are afraid of rejection, so they make excuses. In the example I shared earlier, it wasn't actually rejection that I was afraid of. There was a substantial age gap. I'm always leery of that. It took time to convince myself that this woman was an exception to my age rule, and that I was doing a disservice to myself by not approaching her. Anytime the age difference is more than 10 years younger, I hesitate. It doesn't matter if she's 20, 25, 30, or 35. I'm going to hesitate because we really aren't from the same generation. Half of my childhood was the '70s. And much of the '70s had more in common with the '60s than the '80s, which means I tend to relate better with people born between 1965 and 1970. An '80s or '90s child can't relate to that as a general rule. But sometimes it's better not to expect dating to turn into something long-term. Sometimes it's better to just enjoy the experience knowing it will somehow help you to grow as a person. In the case of the younger woman from my example, that was clearly how I should have been viewing it. I had learned enough from observing to realize that any form of relationship -- even just as friends -- would have enhanced me as a person. That's why I kick myself over the lost opportunity. Ok, let me *restate* what i have said 2-3 times already, actionlynx.. I *have* made the "first move"...not shy at all about doing so.. But, after 25-30 times of doing so over the years at the innumerable events I go to...and, the result being they mumble a few words and walk away.. (I came up and commented on the event, or their t-shirt, or some other ice-breaker)....one feels why bother.. I certainly do *my* share....be nice if a guy would try once in a while (and no, *not* the da** scammers 700-1200 miles away on dating sites)...*real* people out an events and fuctions. |
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Bluegrass, I wasn't picking on you.
  I was just mentioning it for general discussion. There are some people who still don't get it. You are in the minority, I think. And by mentioning it, it directly links into Cranky's message for why this thread exists. |
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Sat 10/27/18 08:59 AM
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Here's a good example.
Last month I was at an event... Late in the afternoon/ early evening..I was tired, and a long way from my car..so I went up to one of the park dudes on his golf cart, and asked if he could take me to my car.. He said "sure".. He looked about my age (but, who knows), and was just my type WRT looks.. When we got to my car, and I got off, and said "hey, thanks for the ride"...he said "anytime...hope to see you again"... As i was tired, and not thinking about anything...it wasn't until i got home and settled in for the night that i thought about it... I turned it over in my head.... Was he just being polite when he said "anytime...hope to see you again"..?? I mean, he's a park employee...they are supposed to be polite and encouraging of people to return visit.. Or, was he sincerely interested and I missed my chance? So, i thought...well, what can i do about this? Call the park, give his description, and ask to talk to him? They'd probabaly want a bunch of info, and ask why I want to talk to him...and god knows i wouldn't want to make him mad by causing embaressment in front of his fellow guy co-workers. It is too far to just casually drive there and hope to run across dude...and, he may have been seasonal..or just hired for the event. And, what if he *was* just being polite? And thinks me stupid for trying to reconnect with him? And act like he *was* interested just to set a meeting up as a joke to share with his buddies...?? That has hapoened to me twice since I have been an adult. (there are a LOT of people out there who have not progressed past Jr High/ Middle school mentality wise) |
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You can't turn back time, enjoy the pleasure that brief encounter gave you and work on becoming more aware and prepared for the next opportunity that comes along!
And yes we all have to deal with the juvenile idiots but remembered that's all on them, not a infliction on you! |
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As i was tired, and not thinking about anything...it wasn't until i got home and settled in for the night that i thought about it... Possible opportunity slipping away. That's my point. I'm sure you were tired, possibly stressed about life, maybe thinking about ten other things. I truly understand and empathize to a point. I'm not trying to tell anyone to jump every time someone brushes by them, but I cannot help but believe that if we are more open and receptive to our surroundings we will notice, and thus have the option to act, opportunities. |
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This entire discussion is exactly why the phone app Happn was created. The idea was to create a profile, and then the app would track the travel patterns of the various profiles. This way people could see which profiles they regularly cross paths with. It's meant to enhance the whole "meet people in a supermarket, library, deli, etc." concept by giving members a bit more to work with when approaching each other. That is creepy 
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Sat 10/27/18 09:30 AM
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Possible opportunity slipping away. That's my point. I'm sure you were tired, possibly stressed about life, maybe thinking about ten other things. I truly understand and empathize to a point. I'm not trying to tell anyone to jump every time someone brushes by them, but I cannot help but believe that if we are more open and receptive to our surroundings we will notice, and thus have the option to act, opportunities. So...ya think I should call over there...give it a go? I just checked..they don't have anything coming up that is a big event.. Only thing they have is a Fall Star Gaze..which is of course after dark (and I doubt they'd have all the staff there at that time)..and it is too far and the roads are very winding...I wouldn't want to drive that in the dark. Excuse? Whatever. I'm sure there are a few of us on here that don't do well driving at night, even on straight, well-lit roads. Hey..I am considering calling, fer crying out loud, so..there's that. |
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to find someone in this medium as opposed to everyday life? We can put aside those that live in rural areas or small towns where there is little "new blood" being introduced into the population. I don't know that it is 'easier' to meet people in a digital world than the real world. Its just another means to an end. I live in a large City and get out and about for work purposes and come across many people .. now, I could flirt with some of the men I come across to show my interest ..I wouldn't be shy that way..but I'm already tied up in that area... For me, the digital world has not decreased my social skills and the ability to carry on and hold a conversation.. |
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Possible opportunity slipping away. That's my point. I'm sure you were tired, possibly stressed about life, maybe thinking about ten other things. I truly understand and empathize to a point. I'm not trying to tell anyone to jump every time someone brushes by them, but I cannot help but believe that if we are more open and receptive to our surroundings we will notice, and thus have the option to act, opportunities. So...ya think I should call over there...give it a go? I just checked..they don't have anything coming up that is a big event.. Only thing they have is a Fall Star Gaze..which is of course after dark (and I doubt they'd have all the staff there at that time)..and it is too far and the roads are very winding...I wouldn't want to drive that in the dark. Excuse? Whatever. I'm sure there are a few of us on here that don't do well driving at night. Hey..I am considering calling, fer crying out loud, so..there's that. Not wanting to drive in the dark on winding roads is not an excuse, it's a damn good reason. The fact that you're open to possibilities is good. I don't see how calling over there is a bad thing. Nothing ventured... |
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to find someone in this medium as opposed to everyday life? We can put aside those that live in rural areas or small towns where there is little "new blood" being introduced into the population. I don't know that it is 'easier' to meet people in a digital world than the real world. Its just another means to an end. I live in a large City and get out and about for work purposes and come across many people .. now, I could flirt with some of the men I come across to show my interest ..I wouldn't be shy that way..but I'm already tied up in that area... For me, the digital world has not decreased my social skills and the ability to carry on and hold a conversation.. People with already developed social skills are likely not as affected by the digital world. |
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Not wanting to drive in the dark on winding roads is not an excuse, it's a damn good reason. The fact that you're open to possibilities is good. I don't see how calling over there is a bad thing. Nothing ventured... I'm hesitant for the reasons I gave a bit ago.. Don't want to embarress dude...you know how guys are... Which was why i check from time-to-time to see if there are any events there that would warrant me driving there...hoping to possibly run across him. |
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Not wanting to drive in the dark on winding roads is not an excuse, it's a damn good reason. The fact that you're open to possibilities is good. I don't see how calling over there is a bad thing. Nothing ventured... I'm hesitant for the reasons I gave a bit ago.. Don't want to embarress dude...you know how guys are... Which was why i check from time-to-time to see if there are any events there that would warrant me driving there...hoping to possibly run across him. I understand. My take on things is more along the lines of why should I wait for the right moment which might never come? |
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Possible opportunity slipping away. That's my point. I'm sure you were tired, possibly stressed about life, maybe thinking about ten other things. I truly understand and empathize to a point. I'm not trying to tell anyone to jump every time someone brushes by them, but I cannot help but believe that if we are more open and receptive to our surroundings we will notice, and thus have the option to act, opportunities. So...ya think I should call over there...give it a go? I just checked..they don't have anything coming up that is a big event.. Only thing they have is a Fall Star Gaze..which is of course after dark (and I doubt they'd have all the staff there at that time)..and it is too far and the roads are very winding...I wouldn't want to drive that in the dark. Excuse? Whatever. I'm sure there are a few of us on here that don't do well driving at night, even on straight, well-lit roads. Hey..I am considering calling, fer crying out loud, so..there's that. you could try to keep it low key...maybe call and say you've misplaced your...whatever...nothing valuable as you don't want to seem like you're accusing anyone of anything. maybe something that is low key and replaceable that you might reasonably expect to have been pitched except for ...whatever... then ask if he might return the call so you can stop looking for it and replace it. if he calls...well, your call how to fess up if you feel that he remembers you for the reasons you're hoping. of course, that's just an off the cuff thought, but maybe there's the bones of an idea one could use if they so chose to put themselves out there. good luck. |
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Another chance, another way to say "Hello". Saying "hello" to someone in the vastness of the internet is often times like trying to be a grain of sand that stands out on the beach. However, I did not say not to use the internet as another tool. It just seems to me that, nowadays, so many people are missing opportunities or moments that are presented throughout the course of every day life. Well then..using your logic..where are all the guys that should have come up to *me* at the innumerable festivals, jams, book signings, cultural fairs, etc. I have been to? It's not one-sided....it works *both* ways... No kidding? Really? Too funny! This was a very specific Hello that grew from a grain of sand into a small glass bottle....millions of geographic and social circumstances condensed into less than 24 hours. Sorry to interrupt your thread. I was just winking at someone I met on MIngle Beach. |
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Sorry to interrupt your thread. I was just winking at someone I met on MIngle Beach. Excellent! Hopefully that wink will turn into the love that lasts the rest of your life! Or at least until Sunday. |
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26 hours to find out I guess....
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26 hours to find out I guess.... Then what are you still doing here? 
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Giving it a chance starting now
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