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Topic: How do you tell a nice guy that it isn't working
cuppy59's photo
Tue 12/11/07 11:32 PM
Everything starts out fine and after a few dates, you just feel that the connection isn't there but they do. I don't want to hurt his feelings, so I continue to go out with him. He is a super nice guy, but something is missing. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

no photo
Tue 12/11/07 11:34 PM
Tell him he's a nice guy, but you'd rather just be friends. He might be hurt for a while, but he'll get over it. It's nicer than leading him to think you're into him when you're not.

CaRisLOVE's photo
Tue 12/11/07 11:35 PM
Edited by CaRisLOVE on Tue 12/11/07 11:35 PM
you tell them
finally
tha other side to see
now i will say it once again

you tell him!
you must not sugar coat it but tell your truth

DebbieJT's photo
Tue 12/11/07 11:38 PM
i always try a few dates to see how it goes but if not happy im honest and open and tell the guy, they usually prefer you to be straight with them hun

jtmulc's photo
Tue 12/11/07 11:43 PM
Openness and honesty is a good thing here. And early, as in the sooner the better.

shutterbug63's photo
Tue 12/11/07 11:49 PM
well I think if he is the least bit perceptive, he kinda knows that the two of you are not exactly "clicking" big time. So I agree, just tell him you really only like him as a friend. It's hard to accept sometimes, but that's life.

XannyG's photo
Wed 12/12/07 12:03 AM
I actually just went through this same situation a few weeks ago, and am also currently going through it now. And they are right. You just need to tell him how it is. Tell him you see yourself as a better friend to him than as a better partner. If he is REALLY the nice guy you say he is, than he'll understand. Yes....he will undoubtably be hurt. But in the long run, it will be better for you both. Afterall, he is only going to want the best for you, and for you to be happy. So, if you being "happy" means not being with him, then he will understand.....IF he is really that nice guy you portray him to be. I know mine were!! :) Hope all works out for ya hun!!

no photo
Wed 12/12/07 12:03 AM
I wouldn't advise saying "you're a nice guy but... blah blah blah" Because then he's gonna feel something is wrong with himself. I would say something like, "You know, I think you're great, but I'm not feeling the chemistry. I just don't feel we're right for eachother." or something like that. Be truthful, but don't use a typical cop out line or phrases like "nice guy" or "It's not you, it's me" etc.

smilewithme's photo
Wed 12/12/07 12:03 AM
Tell him exactly what you said here ...

"You are a super nice guy ... but, I don't feel the same connection between us ... I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I must be honest."


no photo
Wed 12/12/07 12:05 AM
I thought guys liked being called nice. God knows enough of them on this site call themselves that. :)

willn1k's photo
Wed 12/12/07 12:05 AM
What is wrong with being a nice guy

no photo
Wed 12/12/07 12:10 AM

What is wrong with being a nice guy


no idea

willn1k's photo
Wed 12/12/07 12:12 AM
How come women don't like to date nice guys

DebbieJT's photo
Wed 12/12/07 12:15 AM
we do like to date nice guys but still has to be chemistry

willn1k's photo
Wed 12/12/07 12:17 AM
How come women always say to me I'm too nice

DebbieJT's photo
Wed 12/12/07 12:18 AM
well i think nice is good hun dont change

willn1k's photo
Wed 12/12/07 12:20 AM
I'm not but I am getting sick of women telling me I am too nice

DebbieJT's photo
Wed 12/12/07 12:24 AM
well think that mite be an excuse for something else???

willn1k's photo
Wed 12/12/07 12:25 AM
I do but it don't help

no photo
Wed 12/12/07 12:25 AM
Yeah I think they mean something else is missing. There's more to a relationship than just how nice someone is.

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