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| Topic: Advice - Small talks | |
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Just think that she's as afraid as you and forge ahead. Long, long ago I learned to think in terms of WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN? Ask yourself that, in this case you could be rejected...........so what.  You nailed it on the head! Rejection is the worst possible outcome. The upside to rejection is that you didn't waste your time with the wrong person, and... you got experience approaching a lady that also rejected you. It's good to have that experience. |
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Ask her questions about herself, her life, her family, her plans, whatever. Then listen to the answers and follow up. Believe me, she won't notice that you're nervous. If you get a chance to meet with her again, present yourself well. Be groomed and appropriately dressed. You could bring her something small that shows you're thoughtful. Depending on where you're going it could be bottled water. I'm a sucker for a supermarket flower bouquet, or a piece of chocolate, but not everyone is. In our Covid world, maybe an extra mask if you're going inside someplace. When I'm nervous, I'll wiggle my toes or place my hands under the table and touch them as a distraction. If we're sitting on a bench, I sit on one or both of my hands. Not only do these little tricks help with my nervousness, but because he can't see it, he'll think I'm confident. :) If my date does notice my nervousness, he usually finds it endearing and will reassure me that it's okay. |
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You know what also works sometimes complimenting on how she looks, from her eyes to her hair or what she’s wearing  . Looks are very important to most women.Ooh, I'm actually most impressed when the man initially makes no mention of looks. I don't want to think that's the reason he's interested. YMMV Of course, it's nice to hear from time to time, recognition of something that he likes about the way I look. But I prefer to hear it later, after we've established a connection. I like it when my date recognizes the lengths I went to to look and smell nice for him. It doesn't have to be sexual. |
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Am not shy but I am afraid. My family is not really that warm and what I want in a relationship is kind of the opposite. However, having gotten older and tried to go out of my way to form relationships with other people, I realize that it is tiring. Hoping it would be different with the right person, but how can there be a right person unless I make it right for me? Sorry if my answer is not helpful.
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