As I have mentioned before, my last job, before I retired, was working in a fruit and veg shop. One day a customer came in and asked me if he could have HALF A CABBAGE. Grumbling under my breath, I took the full cabbage to the store at the back of the shop to cut it. In the store was another shop worker. I said to her, "What do you think, a tight-fisted customer, has asked me for half a cabbage." As the words left my mouth, I caught, out of the corner of my eye, the customer, who had followed me to the store. Quick as a flash, I continued my rant with, "and this nice customer has agreed to take the other half." Sometimes fate has a nice ending.

I think, I'm now half a cabbage.