Maybe.
Not necessarily.
And even if they do, "expectations" aren't necessarily a dirty word.
Just because they have expectations it doesn't make them bad.
And them having expectations doesn't mean I have to live up to them.

IMO/IME the "problem" comes with how people respond to having their expectations fulfilled or denied, and how people go about fulfilling or denying others expectations


Not really.
But it's a matter of perspective or semantics.

If I'm theoretically at a bar and want to "buy a girl a drink," I am spending my money on a drink from the establishment, and (ultimately, if it's just delivered by the bartender) giving it to that person to do with as they want.

For dating purposes anything I spend my money on is like "lending" money to family. It's a gift. There aren't direct expectations of reciprocity related to the gift.

It's more a means of me communicating something about me. How they respond is a communicated response about them.

"Spend your money on a person" has connotations of a transaction with a person, like prostitution.
If they wouldn't talk to me without me buying them a drink, or wouldn't go to the movie/dinner without me paying for it, then I did something wrong when I picked them to invite out on a date.

But related to the first question, there are expectations. e.g. Show up on time. Communicate that you want to be there (look nice/clean/attractive, stay off the phone, smile or at least don't complain). Civility, honesty, be appreciative or at least not antagonistic (like don't start calling me a murderer and show me blocked colons and animal mutilation pics on your phone because I ordered a steak and you're just telling me you're a vegan even after I told you where we're going). Participate.
And of course other basics like don't pull a gun randomly, don't be stabby, don't be a cannibal or try to molest children at the restaurant, expect them not to pee in the lobster tank, don't shoot up heroin in the bathroom and pass out (which happened to me recently), if it's a date (not a business meeting) then be single...there's tons more like that.

There are always expectations. There is no such thing as having "no expectations!"


Of course.
But it's mostly I appreciate and respect decisiveness.
I will never argue with them. I don't play the "let's gesture to our wallet/purse and be passive aggressive, I want to virtue signal that I will pay but I don't really want to," games.

If the words "I'll pay..." are uttered, I don't interfere, I don't drag it out with "are you sure? I'll get it, are you sure?" or, "I'll get the tip," or, "well, I'll get next time..." I just thank them.

If they say something like "I'll pay my share," I'll let them and never consider dating them again.

But, in this I am somewhat controlling. If I am paying then I am going to choose what we're doing. I plan the date.
If I'm asking them on a date, I am asking to share my life, invite them into it, share what I enjoy.
If they like it, then it's up to them to figure out how to share their life.
With both of us taking the other into consideration when planning.

If they plan a date, they pay. If they plan a date, and then expect me to pay (e.g. "we should go to the bahamas for the weekend, you just got your bonus check, right?" or, "Let's go to IKEA this weekend, you can get me a new dresser and I'll give you a drawer, tee hee"), I will either refuse or probably not date them anymore. I won't accept that.

IMO relevant is I've always avoided the "whadda you wanna eat? IDK...wadda you wanna eat? How about x? No, I don't feel like that. How about y? Naaaah.." or "I'd like to at some point think about the idea of contemplating a scenario where it's possible that I can go out with you some time maybe perhaps? Will you go out with me sometime?"
Where things are unclear, like pulling teeth, or where responsibility and authority games are bandied back and forth.

Not to mention since college I've absolutely avoided "let's get drinks!" or, "let's hang out and see what happens! Netflix and chill!" kind of dates.
Those aren't dates and generally waste my time.
They're fine if you're looking for a FB or FWB, but not date.

As far as paying/accepting for dates go I only really respond, accept, respect clear communication, decisiveness, and follow through. And of course adaptability is sometimes important.

Other than that, the mechanics of "date paying" IME is to treat it as the least significant part of the date. It's not supposed to be the part that causes the most analysis or reflection.

Paying for myself is better and no need any expectations at all.

i usually pay, no expectations, am old and have had enough adventures thank you. so eating a meal and getting to know someone over it and a walk is cool.