It was my turn to get the milk for breakfast.

So, dressed only in my pyjamas, I headed for the barn, where the farmer had tied our milking cow.

I went in, grabbed the pail and stool and set myself down to start milking.

I had just got enough, when the cow kicked the bucket up the byre.

To avoid that happening again I found a piece of sisal, on a hook and tied the cow's rear left leg to the side of the stall.

I sat down and began milking again.

Would you believe it? I just had enough again, when the cow, using its other rear foot, kicked the bucket away again.

I was fuming. I took the last piece of sisal off the hook and tied the offending foot to the other side of the stall.

She won't do that again, I thought.

I had only started to milk again, when she swung her tail in between her rear legs and skited the bucket up the byer.

No sisal left. Then I remembered, the cord in my pyjama trousers.

So I placed the stool behind the cow, grabbed her tail and climbed up unto the stool. I pulled the cord from my pyjamas and proceeded to tie the cows tail to a beam above.

Just then as I had just secured her tail, my pyjama trousers slipped down and in walked my wife.

So, if you can convince my wife that I was not about to shag that cow ........