Topic: real friendship and companion
Lisa's photo
Tue 04/13/21 10:42 AM
You need trust to love, but first you need to love in order to trust.To love someone is to understand each other, to laugh together, to smile with your together,and to trust one another the only thing I’d to let each other go

no photo
Tue 04/13/21 11:36 AM
When I look at life and the many friendships/ relationships I’ve had, not many really had a true companionship looking back now that I am 27 years old. How many of us can actually say that our friend is truly our companion. I believe it is a rare gem and something that we don’t come across until after sometimes and loss of friendships/relationships we honestly believed would last forever.

cleve's photo
Tue 04/13/21 01:03 PM

You need trust to love, but first you need to love in order to trust.To love someone is to understand each other, to laugh together, to smile with your together,and to trust one another the only thing I’d to let each other go


the biggest mistake i see as not understanding each other is when we say

something to someone they first try to see the sense it makes to

themselves...and not the sense it makes to the person talking...we will never

really get to know someone if we only see the sense it makes to us....when we

listen we need to repeat what they said in our own words, then ask if we got

it correct. some call it reflective listening...there are only two more parts

to this form of listening...its a connective process....its called IMAGO

DIALOGUE....ANYONE can learn this new way to listen...it creates safety and

you can not have passion without safety...

no photo
Tue 04/13/21 03:48 PM
real friendship and companion

That's what dogs and cats are for.

You need trust to love

Really?
I'm glad my mom didn't think so.

I would hate on my 23rd birthday to be told "You know what? When you popped out of my vag, I didn't love you....because you need trust to love, and trust is earned! Now on your birthday, after completing that trust earning camp, you've finally earned my trust, so I can say, son, that I love you!"

first you need to love in order to trust

Wow!
Really?
So back in the 90's when it was still standard to go over to girls house, pick her up, and take her out, they actually loved me?
Oh no! I must have passed up on all that love at first sight chances!
They trusted me with knowing where they lived, trusted I wouldn't drive off into the woods and dump their bodies.
Oh wasted youth!

To love someone is to understand each other

No. That's called "healthy communication."
You can love someone and still have poor communication.
You can have great and healthy communication without love.
To understand each other simply facilitates longevity in a relationship that is also supported by love.

Loving someone doesn't instill magic powers of "understanding."
"Understanding" doesn't magically grant feelings of "love."

You need ...

People need to stop conflating so many things with love and building unrealistic notions based on idealized emotional temperaments.

person L 's photo
Wed 04/14/21 03:32 AM
trust is the most expensive thing

its like paper , once creased can never be straightened