Topic: therapy
stevenpwis's photo
Wed 01/02/08 08:50 AM
I was just wondering, I was in a relationship for a month and a half, and I have no idea what happened, why she dumped me. She was asexual, never even kissed me, but I really did have feelings for her and cared for her a lot. I didn't actually know the reason she wouldn't kiss me was because she was asexual until she broke up with me. She told me when she dumped me that I did everything right,I was romantic, the best person she has ever met, but then she also said I called her too much and wanted to see her too much. I am having an easy time with this, it's been over a week and we weren't together long in the first place. My question is, how do I get over this? I am extremely depressed, I don't have any motivation to stop thinking about it. Why is therapy so expensive? I need someone to talk to, I messed up somewhere.

TheMaverick's photo
Wed 01/02/08 08:57 AM
You don't need therapy, you are perfectly normal.

You might have been a little over-bearing. Taking on someone that is asexual, you might have expected that type of result. Asexuality is free from or unaffected by sexuality. However it could have gone further than that, maybe she was unaffected by feeling and emotion, there are people like that.

All I know is you didn't do anything wrong, and she is the one with the problem, hence, why she broke up with you.

Grateful_Dan's photo
Wed 01/02/08 09:01 AM
You didn't mess up at all. Don't beat yourself up just because someone can't handle a relationship. I myself have been through the same thing and you just need to move past that and know that you're not the problem...unless you called her 84 times in one day.

Don't let others be the cause of your misery....if she really liked you as much as she said, she wouldn't have stepped away...and what do you mean by asexual? If she has a problem being affectionate then maybe you should tell yourself you wouldn't have wanted that anyway.

Cheer up and move on....keep your head up...remember that it's nothing you did!

Dan smokin

stevenpwis's photo
Wed 01/02/08 09:12 AM
Thanks guys. Actually I only called her once a day, which I thought was normal for a boyfriend to do.

robinlynn42's photo
Wed 01/02/08 07:26 PM
it will hurt,but find a friend that u can talk to and that won't be judgemental about ur situation. u should be able to email and/or call,snail mail. i hope u find the happiness u deserve.

Marie55's photo
Wed 01/02/08 08:00 PM
Most community mental health centers have sliding fee scales so you pay according to your income. I don't know how much you make, but if you don't have medical insurance or it isn't covered by your insurance it can be expensive. You can find counseling in churches by pastors/ministers, or church groups, there are usually lists of groups in the newspapers, maybe you can find a suitable group there, they are usually free. Also, many hospitals have social workers on staff to talk to patients, and they are usually free and reduced rate, you may be able to talk to one of them for not too much.

There are also crisis lines you can call that are listed in telephone books, and maybe you could talk to someone on one of them to get some information or a referral.

As the people above said, don't beat yourself up, it sounds like it was doomed from the beginning as she has issues and is not willing to deal with them.