(1) Zero Gravity

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly
discovered
that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To fix this
problem,
scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that
writes in
zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and
at
temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil. Your taxes are due again--enjoy paying
them.

(2) Our Constitution

"They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't
we
just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys,
and it's
worked for over 200 years. And, we're not using it anymore."

(3) Ten Commandments

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a
Courthouse is that you cannot post "Thou ! Shalt Not Steal,"
"Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a
building full of lawyers, judges and politicians .

It creates a hostile work environment.

I'm a lawyer, how come there are so many mean jokes about us *sniff sniff, whimper*

AAHHHH im sorry darlin,its all in good fun