That is another problem..I do not have the money to take him to court... I will look into this.

"That is another problem..I do not have the money to take him to court..."

There are many attorneys that do pro bono work. Get in touch with a legal group that can help you.

Thank you...how do you know if they do pro bono work?

Boy thats a touh one.
13 in MT.But like others say.There is alot that has to thought about here.get a lawyer and see if this is even something you should consider.You need to know if both kids could come home befor yoyu start asking for custedy.
I certaly feel for you.Good luck.

There are groups that help women who can not afford legal council who can give you recommendations and help find the help you need.

In many states the judge does NOT want to hear from the children. It isn't up to the children because as kids they do not know what is best for them (ex: will want to live where there is insufficient parental supervision, lax, etc.). Usually the deciding factor is, in legalese: "what is in the best interest of the child". Kids pull this "I wanna go live with _____" crap all the time in dvc situations and it isn't usually for the best reasons nor in their best interests.

Personally I believe the children should not be dragged into it or pushed into court or in front of a judge. That's not good for them at all. Keeping them away from the parental/adult legal matters is in their best interest. Instead it is the parents job to sort it out (or fight it out in court) while shielding the children from the unpleasantness of divorce proceedings.

These things can be confrontational, children should not have to "choose sides" but rather allowed to love both their parents. Putting them in a position to 'testify' makes them choose sides which is not healthy for them. Beware PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) during times like this.

If you believe that the children should now reside with you the majority of the time then there needs to be a reason (not just that the kids 'want to). A substantial change should be cited(since the father obtained custody legally to begin with). With such reason in hand, obtain an atorney and petition for custody change.

You'd need an attorney anyway since the custodial parent (per your description) doesn't sound as if he'd just agree. Obtain a dvc attny and be guided by their advice for your state. As for advocate for the children (Guardian Ad Litem) that must be directed by the court for a reason and most times the parents will have to pay the bill for the GAL (an attorney). It isn't free.

Good luck. It doesn't last forever :)

Good Luck to you and your children!!!

There is no "set age" (law) that is used for this. If there are no circumstances (abuse etc) that would make the kids want to live with the other Parent, a Judge can "interview" the kids in a private setting (chambers) and gather information from them. The judge can, and may even call in a counselor (mental health professional) during the interview process.

Once again, there is no "set age" for consideration. It is based on the Judges descretion.

briank66 is correct. It is discretionary. Most judges (good ones anyway) are reluctant however to drag in the kids. They will carry the unpleasantness of such things for a long time. Best to keep them out of it IMHO.