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Topic: disappointed...
zanne46's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:23 PM
I am very tired....

My anger is gone...

but the disappointment remains...

Would like to here some input on this...

I have dealt with a few addicts in my life...

In my family, not blood related, but family...and another just someone I knew...

In my family...great results....police, children and youth etc..

Also had the babies for some time...my brother and I both went broke due to the situation..

But everyone is healthy, my brother, his babies and most importantly their mom....they need her...

So that is a great thing...

But the problem is..I went to work today..

I closed down my house cleaning business..but needed to take care of this one job before I leave for FLA....

The home owner wasn't home...but her son came home a few weeks ago...

he is an addict..he cleans up and does well ..then falls..

He came home cause he wants better so he says..he also looks terrible..

he is 24 and he really is a sweetheart...

He admitted to me that once again he stole money from his mom and was surprised she left him in the home while she went away...

So i locked my car...as i had money to deposit at the bank...

My mistake....I always hook my keys to my jeans...one of those who doesn't want to experience keys locked in the car..lol

I left them in my coat...I noticed the pocket with the keys were under the other..but was so busy and had been in my pocket..so I questioned it but kept going...

Drove an hour home....and realized the envelope was not in the same place..and as i do..the flap always is neet and folded correctly...this time it wasn't...

So I went over my book keeping and sure enough.. $200 gone.....

He also asked if I would take him to a friends to have a few beers...I refused....

It's cash....yes he has a history and axcess to my keys while I was busy..but how do u proove it????

I called the house..no answer..so he is out..

the only thing I can come up with is possibly in his condition and $200 for the kinds of drugs he uses..he will possibly die..or hit rock bottom..I just don't know...

i needed that $200 and I worked hard for it....thank god he didn't take ALL of it..there was plenty....

I hate this kind of crap..

for the first time I just don't know how to handle this....

Do something....or let it go...

What do u think....?????sad

hikerchick's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:25 PM
Personally I would call the police. Otherwise you are just enablng.

winnie410's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:27 PM
hikerchick took my answer. do not enable!!!!! call the police.

Shaden's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:27 PM
Unfortunately addictions cause selfishness. I knew an addict and still do. It changes them. I've had money stolen, terrible things said and even been accused of what the addicted person does. I don't know if you'll get it back. In my case the person does not tell the truth. All I can do is tell you I'm sorry hat happened. I can idetify.

hikerchick's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:28 PM

hikerchick took my answer. do not enable!!!!! call the police.


why, thank you winnie, for being so wise. :wink:

peachiegirl28's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:29 PM
i feel ur pain sister....i am sorry but you cant lie down and feel sorry for him...he will ultimately destroy hisself and anyone else around him....if you care take action...you just might be the one to save him and change his life for the betterflowerforyou

lulu24's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:30 PM
i'd confront him and tell him, matter-of-factly and firmly, that he has X amount of hours to return my money, or i plan to tell his mother and then go public with the information.

there is a personal shame to addiction...one tends to wish to keep it to themselves.


no photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:30 PM
I don't think calling the police will do a thing for this situation... u didn't see hime take it... so basically it is just an assumption in the eyes of the law,,,,,


trying_to_fly's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:30 PM
Hikerchick and winnie are right....call the police. You have to. You'll be doing yourself a favor by doing so. The cops will probably see him messed up and take him away for that too. He sounds like he needs a lot of help but, don't YOU worry about him and his problems......worry about YOU and YOUR problems. It's in his and his mothers hands. Don't concern yourself with his. If he was a close friend, I would help or your relative. Some people don't want to be helped. I'm not saying don't think about him or anything or don't pray for him, I'm just saying worry about you now........

LetsKick's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:34 PM
Me 2!

fastlinnie's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:34 PM
tuff love it!s hard but it works

gregory583's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:37 PM

I don't think calling the police will do a thing for this situation... u didn't see hime take it... so basically it is just an assumption in the eyes of the law,,,,,


i agree with miss tonia the law will say you had to see him take it .they,ll arrest him but then its your word against his and a court battle ,soory that happened ,, god bless you flowerforyou

zanne46's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:39 PM

i'd confront him and tell him, matter-of-factly and firmly, that he has X amount of hours to return my money, or i plan to tell his mother and then go public with the information.

there is a personal shame to addiction...one tends to wish to keep it to themselves.




thats why I called him..I was already an hour away..but I was going back..he was already gone..

I will be talking to his mom...I have known her a long time...

PacificStar48's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:40 PM
You can probably let go of the money but I doubt you will have as easy a time letting go of the anger or vunerable feeling for a while.

Try some reading of families of addicts. Maybe attend some Al-Anon meetings. Peer support does help.

It is your call to report the theft to the police and or your employer or not. He will steal from other employees and probably has done this in the past. Maybe to people who can much less afford the loss. If you enable this behavior it only grows. If you are quiet about it you can bet he will try it again on you. Or blame it on you. Your work reputation is important.

I am sorry this happen to you. It is not fair and it certainly isn't anything you deserve.

hunter870's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:40 PM
it may cost you but take the envelope to the police and have it printed,then call his family and explain things and ask for his prints if there are any besides yours on the envelope.I bust 2 people I use to trust with my life,I couldnt aford the loss of what they took,if they had only asked it might have ended up different.My items were family airlooms and idiots sold them for 1/10 of what they really were worth cash wise.But sentamental they were worth alot more,so now one of them is in jail and the other isnt far behind.Call the law and cover your own butt and protect yourself.

zanne46's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:41 PM

Unfortunately addictions cause selfishness. I knew an addict and still do. It changes them. I've had money stolen, terrible things said and even been accused of what the addicted person does. I don't know if you'll get it back. In my case the person does not tell the truth. All I can do is tell you I'm sorry hat happened. I can idetify.


not getting it back..he is already out...gonzo..in the nose..in the arm..who knows...he looks bad though...

MsTeddyBear2u's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:44 PM
Call the police- they will get him medical help.
He needs to be in jail for stealing after the medical help.
You can allways talk to the mom later. They need to learn that
these actions in life will only bring them trouble and it is the wrong road to go down... JMO

zanne46's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:50 PM

You can probably let go of the money but I doubt you will have as easy a time letting go of the anger or vunerable feeling for a while.

Try some reading of families of addicts. Maybe attend some Al-Anon meetings. Peer support does help.

It is your call to report the theft to the police and or your employer or not. He will steal from other employees and probably has done this in the past. Maybe to people who can much less afford the loss. If you enable this behavior it only grows. If you are quiet about it you can bet he will try it again on you. Or blame it on you. Your work reputation is important.

I am sorry this happen to you. It is not fair and it certainly isn't anything you deserve.


well I am the boss...lol..I work for myself..but I am done there and moving to FLA...for work...

Alinon all that..been there done that..like I said in my post..have dealt with this before with wonderful healthy result...the difference..I called children and younth cause finally was able to catch her with the crack in her system while preg...but the kids are beautiful, healthy, extremely academically smart and they are very arttistic talentent...it's quite amazing.....behavior ..top of the charts and loving...they are all fortunate..I call them my little angels sent from heaven...

This situation..I can't prove..so I will go there and confront him and then also talk to his mother....this just sucks.

I always have my keys stuck to my body..

sucks for him for being a addict..sucks for me for being robbed..but at least it wasn't all the money and the jewelry I was putting in the safety box..

If that was gone man then there would be major issues...Don't touch my diamonds..lol

hikerchick's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:53 PM
sadly addicts need to hit bottom before they even consider changing ..and this may be one step towards his bottom. You would be doing him a favor if you took some kind of action. If you stand by and do nothing, it will only get worse. I mean, not that his health is your responsibility but you have an opportunity here to make a positive change. For some addict, getting arrested is the best thing that could possibly happen to them.

MsTeddyBear2u's photo
Fri 02/01/08 08:55 PM

sadly addicts need to hit bottom before they even consider changing ..and this may be one step towards his bottom. You would be doing him a favor if you took some kind of action. If you stand by and do nothing, it will only get worse. I mean, not that his health is your responsibility but you have an opportunity here to make a positive change. For some addict, getting arrested is the best thing that could possibly happen to them.


I so do agree!!!

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