WILL ROGERS...

Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935,
was probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known.

Enjoy the following:...

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman...
neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money
is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men:
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to
pee on the electric fence
and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd,
take a look back every now and then
to make sure it's still there.

11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole
lot easier'n puttin' it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion
felt so good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came
along and shot him.
The moral:
When you're full of bull,
keep your mouth shut.

ABOUT GROWING OLDER...

First ~ Eventually you will reach a point
when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things
seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to
go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything
either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill
without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one
tells you about aging is that it is such a nice
change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening
to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.

Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and
beat the ground with sticks,
it was called witchcraft.
Today it's called golf.

And finally ~
If you don't learn to laugh at trouble,
you won't have anything to laugh
at when you are old

THATS FUNNY AS HELL

THATS FUNNY AS HELL