Community > Posts By > Kelly7717

 
Kelly7717's photo
Fri 01/17/14 06:07 AM

what May I delicately point out to U. That Most guys will never measure up 2 your standards. But We R right here every day. We work in the same building, going to the same events, eating at the same cafes, attending the same churches. We are NOT on a cruise, at the mall shopping, nor at upscale bar or wine tasting. In short, weren't not doing what U think we should or like to do. Think about the guy that married U. Whom had to be dragged or nagged to the events Only U enjoyed? U will find us at local spots bars having a beer with buddies. Or working on our classic car or motorcycle. U want 2 find a guy in your age range? Well, step back and look at your self in a mirror. Would Date U? Do U measure up to the same standards U have set for that "Prince Charming"? Just take the time [2 or more dates] 2 see who he really is about. & Remember, he isn't going 2 change 4 U. & IF he did, he wouldn't be what U wanted anyway. A Content secure and single nice guy. David :angel: waving


Lets flip the coin. Everyone has standards even you. Some women know your there but you never took the time to say hello or show interest. Some women will not be the one to initially show interest. Some are taught not to. Your interpretation of women nagging/dragging husbands to places is archaic. The last time I checked marriage is about compromise if your not interested or she isn't then you agree on another way you both decide. Sometimes it might be a simple she needs you to make a decision with her.

Personally I would date me in heartbeat not by appearances but by merit of knowing how to treat someone that I care about, being responsible, having goals, and not needing someone but wanting a man to share life's experiences. I am glad to learn from setbacks it teaches me what not to do or alerts me to make better decisions. I don't want a man to change but be real you have to adapt when you combine two separate people/places into one. You also cannot live life exactly as you did when you were single as you have someone else to consider. This goes for both the female and the male. :smile:

Kelly7717's photo
Fri 01/17/14 05:08 AM
Initially - The eyes with the expression on his face draws me in to smile back at him.

Getting acquainted - When he invites me to share his time. It shows his interest and he thinks of me. Learning about him. How he can be versatile in different environments. (fun, smart, courteous, how he treats other people shows his character and values, intimacy - hold hands, sweet compliments, brush my hair with his hand as he goes to kiss me.

Dating each other - nothing in this world like a man who can show you he cares about you. Goes out of his way for me. You can see it, feel it, experience so many things together. This is reciprocated naturally which keeps you both enjoying life as long as your both willing to continue on the path together.

Kelly7717's photo
Fri 01/17/14 04:30 AM

Are there things you feel someone should do by a certain age? If they haven't, do you question why?

For example, do you feel there's a certain age people should be married by? If they haven't, does it affect how you feel about/look at them?



My advice to anyone is to do what is right for you at whatever age or time it happens. Its your life. Life is all about choices. Often the choices we make lead to predictable outcomes most of the time. We have no control over mother nature, inherited health problems, what others do, or obstacles placed in our path.

My son is in college finishing up his last year for his bachelors degree. My advice to him was to fund retirement maximums the first several years. Save for your house and keep driving your paid off car. Live at home or get a roommate to live simply. Once you feel ready then buy your home. Change the retirement contributions to less but that chunk of money will work with time and could be borrowed against if really needed later. Going back in time our forefathers mostly bought things with cash or had the majority of the money and made a smaller loan. Most of us work hard to get secure and progress over time. Being secure makes it easier to live life the way you want it. Saving $200 a week will give you 52k in 5 years. Nice down payment on a house. Smaller mortgage. More paycheck to keep when/if you meet someone and decide to settle down.

Honestly being alone is far better then with someone and miserable. I would respect anyone alone who did not settle for someone less than they deserve. If you take a good look around society is full of bad examples and a few good ones too. Knowing what is good or bad for you is all that matters. For example: I won't date a man who drinks alcohol all the time and cannot be without it but would date a man who might have a few drinks socially or watching sports. Once in a while overdoing it.

Kelly7717's photo
Wed 01/08/14 04:58 PM
glue

Kelly7717's photo
Wed 01/08/14 07:29 AM

My wife has no physical interest in me and never wants to have sex. She says that I need to try to turn her on and be romantic. I can't think of what I can do to turn her on.

What has worked well for you in the past?


Evaluate yourself honestly. Do you pay attention to her or are you busy with work, books, phone, computer, friends, hobbies etc. Is she your priority in your life? Does she feel it? Do you dress in the lounge wear that is old? Maybe buy something nice new. Buy your wife a new nightie with a card with some message.. saw this and knew you would make it just beautiful. Tell her to pack a bag for the weekend. Plan a weekend away but don't tell her where. Take her someplace where its private unplug phones computers tv etc. and just spend time together. Play music slow dance tell her the value she has in your life. Massage by a roaring fire. Get up make her breakfast in bed. Show her how much you love her! Steam up the bathroom when you shower write on the mirror a message she will see when she showers. Slip handwritten messages someplace she will find them randomly. Cut out a big heart with paper put collage of photos on it. Hide it in the dirty laundry so she finds it while doing a mundane chore.

Everyone feels undervalued for the daily things they do. We could all use some positive feedback. Appreciation goes a long way when you know someone notices and cares about you.

Kelly7717's photo
Wed 01/08/14 06:35 AM

Anyone that has ever been cheated on or lied to will have a difficult time finding the ability to trust again. It gets even worse if it happens multiple times with different partners. You even get so you don't trust yourself anymore. The real question, it seems to me, is how do you regain that ability?


I believe communication and building a solid foundation over time will help realize that each person is unique and has some important value to you. The hard part is knowing or realizing when something triggers a thought of mistrust that its your own interpretation based on experiences. You have to detach yourself, think clearly, not react by your emotions that can stir up from remembering a past event. Later you can evaluate if your mistrust had any merit. Interpretation can be a huge factor of problems.

I do trust several key people in my life. I have trusted and still would trust two ex's that I dumped for other reasons. My ex husband, and other 6 yr relationship are not included for cheating. In every relationship. I was the one to break up cause the writing on the wall was so very clear to me.

Kelly7717's photo
Wed 01/08/14 05:40 AM
nope never read it probably wont either ..

Kelly7717's photo
Wed 01/08/14 05:35 AM
Most women do not trust men they know nothing about. They listen to the things you tell them and remember it. I will call you at 7...and you blow it off call late or another time and use an excuse. It wont win you any credit. The guy who does follow through on his word, communicates, is consistent most likely will be trusted by his actions backing up his words.

Think of the guy who is the most irresponsible person you know. Might be fun as hell to hang out with. Everyone likes him life of the party. Goes through jobs, women, money, booze, moves a lot, lives in the moment always, wild crazy untamed. This is the guy you want to be least like for women to trust you. Even though we still like him to have the fun side as well just when its us hes included in the fun.

Kelly7717's photo
Sun 12/22/13 03:38 AM
As young girls we are taught morals, values and etiquette by our Family's value system. Boys are usually taught some but not held accountable as much as girls. Boys are taught manners. Please, thank you, holding doors, carrying things, being helpful and doing the heavy chores. I think we have this notion that our partner, children, friends, etc. should have those values as well. This is where things can get ugly when you mix different value systems. Some are like oil and water. Our partner is somewhat a reflection of ourselves just as the type of company you keep such as friends.

Women are complex to say the least. We all do things differently. Women want to improve the closeness of the relationship. Be your #1. Want to know that the man is considering her in decisions he makes. She wants to feel like no matter what happens your still going to be standing there beside her helping develop a solution or just giving her a hug telling her its going to be okay. She wants to trust you without any doubts in every aspect of the union.

She wants to improve the rough edges that men sometimes have. (women have them too trust me)
Some things the smallest of things to someone else could be so major to to another to be a deal breaker even if overall life is good with everything else. Some things are annoying, aggravating, overlooked or she hopes to change or improve it. Mostly its a persons own interpretation that causes all the problems.




Kelly7717's photo
Sat 12/21/13 02:09 AM
I agree with GOofball writing it out helps.

I personally would write down every last annoying, negative, worst habits, bad times on/at important events, etc in a list. Its easy for lowkey people to overlook some things but seeing it all in black & white should be an eye opener.
* * *
Then write down all the things that are positive about being single and free. I can finish ____. I am free to ____. I can go on a fun vacation with friends. Plan next summer beach/pool parties. Join something like a drawing class, gourmet cooking, sports team, volunteer for something. You will expose yourself to many new people and its easier to move forward when your calendar is full.
* * *
Then think about common signs you were dating the wrong person. Like: They try to mold you into something else. They think the world revolves around them. You avoid difficult conversations to avoid conflict. No matter how hard you try you cant do anything right according to them.

Kelly7717's photo
Thu 12/19/13 11:57 PM
People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used.

Kelly7717's photo
Tue 11/29/11 08:05 PM
1) Yes, Dear 2) Your'e Right 3) I'm Sorry

Kelly7717's photo
Tue 11/29/11 03:56 AM
hour away ..

Kelly7717's photo
Tue 11/29/11 03:48 AM
Single

Kelly7717's photo
Thu 01/21/10 04:17 AM
Today's Economy

1. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

2. I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the
counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

3. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

4. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient
Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

5. Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than
GM.

6. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

7. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned
their children's names.

8. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico

9. Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

10. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

11. The Mafia is laying off judges.

12. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

13. Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff
scandal.
Oh, Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being
investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And,finally...
14. I was so depressed last night thinking about the
economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a
truck.

Kelly7717's photo
Sat 12/26/09 12:13 AM
Master

Kelly7717's photo
Thu 12/17/09 05:33 PM
"A man in an art gallery was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing. He answered.


























I am waiting for autumn"

Kelly7717's photo
Thu 12/17/09 02:34 AM
He continuously talks about himself for more than a few minutes or undresses me visually with his eyes.

Kelly7717's photo
Sat 09/05/09 12:40 AM
Live it up! You deserve to be happy my friend! :smile:

Kelly7717's photo
Tue 05/19/09 01:05 PM
Hell no!! - his **** was getting packed the second i found out ... my friends told me my husband didnt cheat but none the less thinking about it or planning to meet someone was enough for me. Betrayal is beyond forgiveness there are other things i can accept or compromise about but loyalty is not a compromise. He found out the hard way. I will never waste my time on someone who does not consider me or have my best interests in mind. I would expect the same treatment from a partner.

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