OK, forget about the friends of the opposite sex......go with the boobs.

no, i don't hang around female friends regularly....perhaps i should.

when the woman i faux married last year started hanging around the man i got uncomfortable about, i knew where it was going, and the only way i knew to make her understand was to exchange the same way....if her intentions were truly innocent....why would she assume that mine were not? This was the first time i conducted such an experiment with anyone, by the way. She did wind up with this guy when it was all said and done.

when my subsequent relationship presented me with the same hypocrisy, although i did not hang out with anyone else in this instance, only took the cat to the ex and that was enough to make hypocrite number 2 jealous.....and months later she goes and spends 4 hours with her ex.....after 2 experiences like this i began to question the hypocrisy on friends of the opposite sex that i am experiencing with women. Who wouldn't?

The trouble here, is that often, women mistake cruelty, rudeness and agression.....for strength. They are attracted by this mistake and that's how they wind up in abusive relationships.

I never said that it wasn't ok to hang out with friends of the opposite sex, or even tear their clothes off and shag the hell out of them if that is your wish. My problem is when I exchange the same way to see how they will handle it, they flip out. And all the women here seem to be saying "well you said you don't need to do that, so you shouldn't". Like I should just let them do whatever they want with another man, even though i know they will not like it when i do the same with another woman. I have one female friend i hang with in that situation. A woman who looks great in her photos, but is a bit aged for 38, but since since the SO's don't know that, all they see is a woman who they think is better lookin than they are, thus they get uncomfortable. For the record, i wouldn't shag the friend if she was the last woman on earth. She drinks too much and because of that looks older. But whatever a significant other chooses to do, what they do is endorsed as acceptable behavior for the other. To do something that could be questionable, then turn around and get mad when I do the same, is just hypocritical. There is no list of deeds in a relationship that is acceptable for women to commit, but not for men to commit. You shouldn't condemn me for committing an act that you are already committing yourself. I talk to my 38 year old friend about it. She always seems to think they have trust issues with men, stemming from probably a bad relationship with their father.

regardless of whether i am interested in them, in the event my s.o. chooses to hang with the opposite sex, i should be allowed the same. whether or not the friend i make is better lookin than my s.o., whether or not the friend i make has intentions to rip my clothes off, or whatever....if my significant other chooses to place herself in a position where she can fall for another man, i should be allowed the same courtesy. ***swish*** thats the game, folks.

lynx, what i have found is that words are useless in that situation. all i ever get in return is, "Can't you just be happy i made a friend?" and on the other side, when i introduce a female friend, my SO says "i believe you are more than just friends." so there does seem to have been a double standard.

"Hey man, I have a confession....I'm in love with your wife."

"Good! Please take her!"

"Oh f**k...what the hell did I just take?"

so what you're saying, sweet....is that rather than exchange the same way, i should walk from such relationships the very moment that behavior starts? i've done that....that only leads to the belief by women in my inner circle that i had no true feelings for that person, because i walked away so easy. so it's damned if i do, damned if i don't. so damn the relationships. damn em.

well said, firefly, but they dont exactly come with that tattooed on their forehead. Ladies, would you consider tattooing.....nevermind.

Well, I had given up, but what the hell, it's free entertainment.

Can i reference my most recent experiences?

in 2009, I met a woman. We dated, and in 2010, we married. Immediately after the wedding, she took her kids, and had lunch with a male friend who she met after we became exclusive. this was not an established friend. She began spending more and more time with him, and when i confronted her, and simply asked, "if i had a female friend, and was spending that much time with her, would you be ok with that?"

she replied, "no, you're right. i'm sorry. i'm getting too close. it just got out of hand."

about 6 weeks later, she confesses to me that she's still married to her previous husband, and wants out of our marriage. Fed up, I agreed to move on. She tried to hang on. It was THEN that I made friends with a former budweiser model to see how she would react.
She wasnt happy. "it makes me feel inferior", she said. Did she not think that what she was doing made me feel the same way? Would be wife then divorces her husband and starts a relationship with male friend. End of story 1.

Met a woman in October 2010. Woman from story 1 still meddling. New girlfriend despises ex, and when i take ex'es cat to her, new girlfriend demands to be present....and says....and i quote..."I'll kill the f***ing b***h!I know she wants you back!" I made no conversation with ex in the process. none. After the cat goes, everything's fine. Come February. Girlfriend, driving my truck, gets stuck in snow and calls her ex boyfriend to come get her. They then spend 4 hours together. "He will always be my friend.", she says. I say "So if I go and hang with my ex for 4 hours in a snowstorm, that's gonna be ok?"....no answer. She went to bed. That was the beginning of the end.

and with what i'm seeing in these posts, seems like most women posting would do the same thing. just sayin. don't bring another man into the picture if you don't want me bringing another woman in.

As far as being upset by it, i was...but after realizing that as long as you have charisma....or looks...or something....finding someone else is not hard, the feelings have subsided. but it is frustrating when your signifigant other doesn't follow a standard, yet they expect you to. That just doesn't work in our world, ladies.

if you want to have lunch, sex, or whatever with other men, including new male friends, your SO should be allowed the same priviledge with other women.

YOU DO!

and youre on a dating website?!?! ahhhhh f*** me!!! i quit.

and somehow they all remain single. i shall say no more.

and somehow they all remain single. i shall say no more.

this is why our culture is perverted the way that it is. working a problem out is seen as childish. moving from one person to the next to the next to the next is seen as mature. mmm hmmm.

because i believe in seeing everything through to the end, and when talking doesnt work, the only way to make someone understand is to put them in the same situation.

my so's always say its different. not you monogomous folks.

i've never cheated in a relationship. never. call every woman but my main squeeze "ma'am"....just fyi. i dont put myself in a position to be attracted to someone else. cant say the same for my previous s.o.'s. and yet when i simply test them to see how they would react, they dont like it one bit.


"that's different."

the reason i make a friend shouldnt matter, unless that its just plain not ok for men, but acceptable for women. just go on and say it. youve already said it.

see, i know what the women here likely think. you're thinking that men are a one way street with women. because of that, you believe that you are much more likely to be able to resist a male friend's advances....than a man can resist advancing on a female friend of his own. that's just not the way it is. whether my female friend is attractive or not, or whether i met them after the fact is irrelevant.