If age doesn't matter to you, why do you specify the age range 40-59?

There's something very Freudian about this posting, a hidden agenda of some kind.

Women are Homo Sapiens, the highest form of animal, also called Humans, and you would appear to confuse humans with non-human basic animals...........everyone knows that basic animals simply want food, followed by sex, followed by reproduction, and then death..........homo sapiens are far more complex, their 'wants' change depending on what they have, they are by definition, never fulfilled, always searching, moving, going to some far away place , anywhere different to where they are now, even millionaires are famous for this behaviour, owning ten houses when they can only live in one, they strive to make MORE money, as is that will in some way compensate for their meaningless lives.....unhappy unless they need to struggle, so they struggle to make more and more money ............ so, in the unlikely event that you ever discover the inane answer to your inane question, get back to me, and I will make you a billionaire. :) In the meantime, try to treat every woman you meet as a unique human being, treat her with respect, as you wish to be treated, as every human wishes to be treated.

You can start by regarding her as just another human being, just like you in so many ways,
so, would you like to be called a 'gentleman', or 'difficult'..hmmmmmm....then don't call her a 'lady' she is a woman. What matters is not whether she loves you, it's whether you love her.

Real wisdom comes from knowing that all you need is to love someone, you do NOT need someone to love you.

Thanks, it's nice to know that at least one woman understands.

And what if I do? I'm sure I speak for most guys on here when I say that there is more to life than sex you know, and perhaps this idea that men are only after one thing could be considered just a little bit sexist? ;)

If such a being exists ;)

Actually I took the photo down in the hope that I might attract a more poetic, perhaps less physical type of woman.

Sadly for old Lodger, the Poetry section is the worst of all ;)

Why oh why are women only interested in sex? When I meet a girl on here I try to chat about things like music,great books, art, and of course history and myth before The Flood.
But, to my great dismay, the first thing they ask is if I have a webcam.
I am shocked by such a shallow attitude.
But because I am a friendly sort, and not wishing to hurt anyone's feelings,I always go along with the idea, perhaps other guys also do for the same reason.
I still however, long for the day when I meet a woman who does not see me as some kind of plaything, but instead talks about Poetry.

Of course, as long as the husband has a boyfriend ?

Yes, that's the one! Neeson goes on to kill half the population of Europe, (bad guys) , before finally bringing his daughter back home without a scratch to the total safety on America, where as everyone knows, crime is virtually unheard of. Neeson should have his Acting Union card withdrawn for daring to take money for such rubbish.

Sorry, but any movie is a work of great art when compared to 'Taken' with Liam Neeson.

Who was it that said : 'Love does not come to an End' ?

The older women I know all seem to be kind gentle people with lots of love. ( or did you mean secks?, that's always easy to find, at any age) ;)

For me the important word here is 'person'.

I was raised to treat all persons with respect.

As an archaeologist, I find that as a woman gets older, she becomes more and more interesting.

BIN THAT DIET BOOK!

AS THE NUMBER OF DIET BOOKS INCREASES EVERY YEAR, SO DOES THE NUMBER OF SERIOUSLY OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE.

IS IT POSSIBLE THAT DIET BOOKS COULD BE PART OF THE PROBLEM ?

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PART ONE

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Do Diet Books always give clear and simple advice about how to lose weight, or do they make it seem unduly complicated?

Let's examine the evidence.


According to some diet books, I can't lose weight unless I go to join a gym, and do the 'right' exercises. Is this true?

No, it is not true. Your weight is controlled by the quantity of food you eat, not by trips to the gym.

So, I do not need to do special exercises or use rowing machines in an effort to lose weight?

Not at all. If all you want to do is lose weight, then exercise does not need to come into it. If you were to reduce your calorie intake,stop all exercise and just go to bed for a week, you would still lose weight.

So, do I need to exercise at all?

Yes of course, regular exercise is vital to your good health. But Exercise should be a part of your everyday life, not something you need to join a gym for. Things that you should do every day, like walking or running, or swimming, or cycling do not require you to join a gym.


But how can I get my body to start burning calories if I don't jump around and work up a sweat?

As long as you have a pulse you are burning calories. Whether you jump around or not, you are burning calories. Even when sleeping you will burn calories. That is why people lose weight while they sleep.

So there is no need to indulge in violent aerobic exercise, and to do it as part of a weight loss programme?

No, on the contrary, such activity should be avoided because it can be very damaging to the muscles and joints and therefore lead to lifelong stress injuries, such as those suffered by professional athletes. To lose weight you just need to reduce your food intake.


My diet book was written by a weight loss expert, and he tells me I need to learn to count calories, is this true?
It is not true. Besides, the term 'weight loss expert' just sounds like a fancy way of saying 'salesman'. You certainly have no need of a salesman, so perhaps it's time to become your very own 'weight loss expert'? As for ever needing to count calories, the reason you do not need to count calories is because you have a natural built-in calorie counter, it's called your stomach.

When your stomach even begins to feel full, it means that you have already eaten more than enough, so you should stop eating. On no account should you continue eating until you can't eat any more. It really is that simple. So, there's no need for you to count calories, or even to know what a calorie is, nature has already taken care of all that for you.

But what if I do not feel full even though I know I have eaten to excess?

If you have been eating to excess on a long term basis, then the stomach has been trained to expect far more food than it needs. The answer to that is quite simple, by reducing your portions of food, the stomach will naturally return to its normal size. Then the built-in calorie counter will again operate.

My diet book tells me I eat the 'wrong' foods, that why I'm fat. Is this true?
It is not true. Food by definition is good for you. It's essential for your body to have food. If you are overweight, it's not because of any particular food that you eat, or exercise that you omit. It is because you eat more food than your body needs. The solution to over eating is to be guided by your on board calorie-counter.

So, does it really matter what I eat, can I still enjoy a burger?

Of course, as long as your diet does not consist solely of burgers.

But you did say that burgers are food, so why can't I have burgers every day, and only burgers, can't I just eat what I like?

AS long as you vary your diet, yes, because your body will not get all the nutrients it needs from just one particular food. We need to eat a mixture of foods to keep the body in tip top shape.

So, now I need to become an expert in nutrition ?

Not at all, you just to remember what is food and what is not food.

Really ?, so what do you mean by 'food'


By food, I mean basic everyday stuff known to everybody, 'starchy' food like rice, pasta, wholemeal bread, wholemeal cereals, potatoes; 'high protein' stuff like fish, meat, cheese, lentils; and don't forget to add fresh fruits, and vegetables. All of these are pure food for your body, they nourish it and protect it. Ice cream, doughnuts, chocolate, are sweets, dessert, just sugar, Ok in moderation after a balanced meal, but they will not sustain life on their own, because they are not food.

Should I eat some of these basic 'foods' at every meal?

Yes, and for your main meal of the day,just select stuff from the starchy list and stuff from the protein list, then add the fruit and vegetables.

Since that stuff is all food, and therefore is good me, I can eat as much of it as I like, right?

No. Food is only good for you if it's taken in the correct quantity, eating to excess is a very bad idea,and dangerous to your health, no matter what you eat.

Really? even if just I stick to green leaf vegetables?

Yes, most vegetables contain a natural insecticide which will cause excess wind, so it's important to eat them only as part of a balanced diet.

But I love to eat, why can't I just eat and eat,and then join a gym to keep my weight in check?

To keep your weight in check and be able to enjoy exercise you first need to stop over- eating. Your weight depends on how much you eat. If you eat to excess you will be unable to burn all of the excess calories and you will continue to gain weight.

Are you saying that I must always be careful about what I eat, and about how much I eat, and never ever eat too much, not even at Christmas?

Yes. Being careful about how much you eat is an everyday thing, a lifestyle choice,like being careful about how much you drink, and about how you drive, or how you cross the street. Would you cross the street with your eyes closed just because it's Christmas?

So, I can no longer just enjoy eating too much? What sort of life is that?

No one 'enjoys' eating to excess, it's just a compulsion, a bad habit that can be broken.

As for no longer enjoying your food, on the contrary, you will enjoy your food much more when you stop over eating. The difference is that you will cease to eat as a hobby, and instead eat because you want to nourish and protect your body. That is the way to enjoy good health, to look your very best, and to enjoy being fully fit and active.

I still don't see why eating too much sometimes can be so risky?


The problem with over eating is that it puts your body under stress. The stomach can only hold a limited amount, so expects to be given enough food to last only until the next meal, no more than that. In an adult the time between meals should be about four to five hours. Your stomach will tell you when you have reached that level of food intake, because you will begin to feel full. Water can be taken between meals if needed, but eating between meals gives your stomach far too much work to do, and so should be avoided. Always remember that any excess food cannot be properly used as energy by you body, but will instead be stored as fat. The problem with this is that it puts your whole body under ever increasing strain as the weight of the fat builds up. This naturally makes it far more difficult for you to enjoy regular natural essential exercise because of the extra effort needed to carry all the excess weight around.
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PART THREE: Can't I just buy a diet book in which an expert tell me where it's all going wrong?
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No, save your money. You don't need an 'expert' of any description. Remember, you, yourself, made yourself fat without the need for an expert, so you don't need one to lose the weight. You just need to reduce your food intake, it really is that simple.

This cannot be said too often : Like everything else in life, like medicine, or wine, food is only good for you if taken in the correct dosage. Just as it is dangerous to eat in one day enough food to last for three days, so it's dangerous to take three days medication in one dose. Eating too much food is dangerous to your health,as is drinking too much alcohol. Excessive violent exercise is also very dangerous, as is drinking excessive amounts of water, as several sad cases have shown.

So, the simple fact is that if you are overweight, it is because you eat too much. It is your own doing. It is not because you have not yet found the right diet book, or sought help from some 'weight loss expert'. It is not because of what anyone else does or does not do. It is NOT because you don't exercise enough, or don't do the 'right' exercise. It is NOT because of some gym that you need to join. It really is all your own fault. You eat too much so you get fat. It's that simple. You do not need a Phd to understand why you're fat. You do not need to consult some 'expert' in nutrition either to know that if you continue to eat more calories than your body needs then the excess food will still be stored as fat for use at a later date. You have already found that out for yourself.

The solution to weight gain is to give your body fewer calories, that means to eat less, so that your body will naturally begin to burn away the excess fat which it stored earlier for when the food runs out. There is no other way.

But a diet book told me it's NOT my fault, it said I'm overweight only because I eat the 'wrong' foods, could this be the answer?

No, you are overweight simply because you eat too much. Food by definition is good for us if taken in sensible amounts as part of a balanced diet. It's all about calorie intake. As long as you have a balanced diet and do not eat too much, then, barring serious illness of some sort,for which you should seek medical attention, you will always be able to maintain a normal weight.

Ok,ok, it's all my fault, does that mean I can get no help from anyone else? so where do I go from here, am I to be reduced to simply using will power?

Yes, just as you did not need help from anyone else to gain the extra weight, you don't need help from anyone else to shed the excess weight. Just use your natural will power, it's all you need.

PART THREE: Will power?

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Yes, will power is all we have. Your will power is what controls your life, not some salesperson trying to sell you a miracle. Will power is what makes you get out of bed in the morning and face another day. Your will is stronger than any book you have ever read, including this one, or any words you've ever heard. You can depend on your will power. All you have to do is choose a goal, your will power will do the rest for you.

If it's that simple then why do I find it impossible to stop eating too much?



Only you can answer that. You must be honest with yourself.

Do you mean I may not really want to lose weight at all?

Yes, if you really want to lose weight, just go ahead and do it. There is nothing to stop you.

Well, I have lost weight before, but then went back to over eating again after some time, how can I prevent that happening again?

You described so well the problem mountain climbers meet after reaching the summit, what do I do now? Do I simply give up climbing mountains, or find new mountains to climb? By losing the weight all on your own, you proved how irresistible your will power is, so you should have gone on to your next goal, instead of simply giving up.

You must accept the fact that even after attaining your goal, you will still be the same person you were before. It's therefore unrealistic to expect your life to change completely simply because you solved one problem. If you had separate issues, they will be still be there, so, make solving them your next goal. In future you must not allow separate issues to undo the wonderful work you did by getting back to your best weight. Returning to your natural weight is indeed a very worthwhile thing to do. You have done it before, so you can do it again. You owe it to yourself to do it, and after doing it, to go on to new goals. ======================================================================================

“The best part of a good person's life: the little, nameless unremembered acts of kindness and love.”
Wordsworth