OK... I posted this question two days ago and the thread was deleted... I heard it was due to people arguing over the topic. I didn't see any of the replies, so please, just give me your opinion. I am in pain and need help.

My problem is that I cannot get over a guy I dated... we had a very intense and exciting relationship. He seemed like Mr. Perfect but when some things in my life changed, and seeing each other was more complicated, he left me. This was about 9 weeks ago.

The last time we spoke, he was coming thru town, called me and said he was 30 minutes away, then turned off his phone and kept driving. He has ignored me ever since.

I still cannot get him out of my head, although I am very angry, and know I deserve better. I am trying to work things out with my son's father, but I feel like I am being unfair to everyone b/c I am still obsessed with this other guy, mainly b/c there was no closure or goodbye. I know that I was being used, but I fell in love with him.

He blew me off in such a weird way I can't get over it. I am older than him, but even immaturity isn't an excuse to ignore someone you were so intimate with.

How can move on? How can I not keep wondering why he did what he did, and still thinking about him?

i remember this one,yeah go out with friends have a good time,and use me as a rebound guy

you nailed it RKISIT !

take your frustration out on that drumset too!

I had replied that perhaps you are not obsessed with the man, but ruminating about being discarded so cavalierly by him. Maybe you are trying in your mind to have him back in order to get the ending of the relationship that you felt you deserved, not just his jerky disappearing act on you, making you feel used and unimportant by standing you up and abandoning the relationship. He really did behave like a jerk. And, this will likely remain unresolved for your heart and emotions.

you can also seize this opportunity to harness your feelings and write a few gerat songs!! 'specially blues

thats 100% from what i just looked at ,,,,,,,
his lost and some1 else gain:

I think you are having a hard time letting go of the person you think you knew from the very select pieces he kind of fed you through the computer. It is easy to create a persona of being mature, responsible, considerate, handsome blah blah blah when you have the edit button and can be selective of the pictures you send. It is possible that in person the guy just didn't measure up and knew you would be disappointed. Given your rather dramatic situation he probably figured you would ultimately blow him off anyway and go back to your baby's Daddy no matter how difficult that might be. Who knows maybe you were unlucky enough to meet one of those sadistic creeps that likes to play cat and mouse with a woman in a tough situation and when you called his bluff the enevitable happen which is step on your heart. You are young and up to your ears in emotions and stress right now. Give yourself the gift of time to sort out your feelings and get your life into control and then start thinking about adding in another person to your life. The next real man in your life should take his time to get to know you and be your freind before your "Prince Charming" swooping in to make everything rosey posey. Find someone real with realistic goals and take your time. Good Luck and Happyier Days ahead.

I can tell you that time heals all wounds.....but not completely, you know you should forget about him and that is gonna be tough but you can do it.
About 5 yrs back I started dating this guy I fell head over heals for. Within a month he moved in with me & my kids. I had him so high on a pedastal, he became my everything. Probally the happiest 3-4 months of my entire life! He was great!
Then one weekend he disapeared, all his crap was here, the weekend turned into a week (he did'nt show up to work,nothin)
One evening he comes by apologizing saying..that he got scared..blahhh..blahh...blahhhh! Got his stuff and left
Truth was..... he found someone else but, because we were so into a relationship he panicked and he hid ....trying to make up his mind.
I was sick in bed for days over him ,but now....even though I am still single I am over it. Still see him occasionally, heart even flutters a bit but I'm over it!

I suppose it is more closure that I am looking for now... the good memories I have of him are overshadowed by the way he bailed out on me. It's easy to say go out, play drums, plenty more fish in the sea... but I cried for three weeks straight over this guy... blues songs? right now I can't listen to one without crying... I literally think about him ALL THE TIME!

I just wish he would have said "Girl, it isn't going to work..." or something.

Thanks for trying to help me out.

Look...for you...just once...I'll say it.

This ain't working, for me. I'm bailing. Not a thing wrong with you. I'm just too immature; not ready to really live this totally in love stuff.

Find a good man. Find a lousy man, and he will turn into a good one, just for you, because you're that loving.

Goodbye.

Yours,

JERK

you rite

my words of wisdom: " love is like gas, it'll pass." Believe me it stinks for a while but that's ok.

You will get over him, it will take time. Just remember this, you are a better person because of this experience. This is his loss and he will realize it, but just remember, he will realize it when it is too late. Push him inot the back of your mind

Time is a great healer.
U know ur better than him,
U know he was a jerk,
U know he was immature,
U know u will find someone again,
someone better.


If u want closure u'll have to contact him - coz I dont think he'll contact u.

And then u'll have to think about what u want to say, if he answers.

Its hard and its horrible but ur pain will pass.
Think about the future. Ur worth it.

In times when I'm down...I pick up my guitar and beat the hell out of it...jam on some Neil Young "Down by the river" that always cheers me up...so get on those drums and rip it up

If only he had the balls to say that.