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Topic: Long Distance Relationships - YAY or NAY?
BabyFaceLady's photo
Tue 09/16/08 11:12 AM

i'm in a long distance relationship, and have been for over two years.

i'm in toronto, and he's in west texas. it isn't the easiest place to travel to (nor the prettiest, haha). neither is it cheap. we don't see each other nearly as much as we'd both like, but somehow we manage to do quite well.

neither of us live our lives with any expectations, and most certainly don't within the relationship. i don't know where we will be this time next year, next month or even next week. but i do know that for today i am in love with him, and he with me and i don't anticipate tomorrow being any different than today.

with neither one of us currently in a position to move, yet still very much in love with each other, we take what is given each day and enjoy it for what it is. i once said to him that all i wanted was a dance and that the rest - if any - would just be icing on the cake. well i'm still eating, haha. i would rather be with this man, and see him way too infrequently, than be with anyone else, and get to see them all the time.

~~~~

we did meet online, not on this site but a similar one. i don't believe that either one of us were actually looking for a relationship, especially one of the long distance kind (i know i certainly wasn't).

if he'd have written to me out of the blue and talked about getting together, etc., i doubt i would have said yes - it would have just seemed insurmountable i guess, and quite a bit bizarre to want to get involved with someone that far away.

we were both forum posters; almost from the day that i first began to post, was the day he made a re-appearance (from one of his many bans haha); if that doesn't sound like it was pre-destined, i don't know what does.

i noticed him almost right away, the wit, the humour, the grace and the intelligence. it didn't take me long to find something to write to him about and the rest, as they say, is history.

i don't think you get to pick with whom you fall in love. it all falls into place in the exact manner in which it was intended.


Very well said Lady paper.

SharpShooter10's photo
Tue 09/16/08 11:14 AM


I am in an LDR, he is in Louisiana and I am in Maryland. He has asked me to marry him and soon, we will be making plans for him to re-locate


Congrats! That is really good news!
It can work, depends a lot on the people involved. I've lived in Louisiana most of my life except for the military and college, and have no problem taking my twangy southern accent to Maryland.smitten drinks :banana:

papersmile's photo
Tue 09/16/08 11:14 AM

ive had a lot of long distance relationships.

ive been saying i wont do another. but now im having doubts. im thinking if hes a good man and you can trust him then why not.

one reason im skeptical is because i cant relocate and im afraid if i got into one and he cant relocate and i cant it'd hurt when it ends you know?


but even when it ends, if it ends, it doesn't take anything from what you had, what you gave, and what was given, all the love and the memories. who's to say that local relationship won't end and leave you just as hurt?

maybe the difference is age and life experience to date. i'm not interested in having any more children; i think that if i were, there'd be much more pressure on the relationship for us to be together permanently and physically.


BabyFaceLady's photo
Tue 09/16/08 11:15 AM

ive had a lot of long distance relationships.

ive been saying i wont do another. but now im having doubts. im thinking if hes a good man and you can trust him then why not.

one reason im skeptical is because i cant relocate and im afraid if i got into one and he cant relocate and i cant it'd hurt when it ends you know?


Yupp, another of the LDR pitfalls. It is alot to consider. For me, one reason I hesitate to relocate is because my youngest son (11) really should stay in our area till he is pretty much on his own. I am a single mom, so I appreciate the family we have around here that all put in the efforts to help raise him...

maryelizabeth10's photo
Tue 09/16/08 11:18 AM


ive had a lot of long distance relationships.

ive been saying i wont do another. but now im having doubts. im thinking if hes a good man and you can trust him then why not.

one reason im skeptical is because i cant relocate and im afraid if i got into one and he cant relocate and i cant it'd hurt when it ends you know?


but even when it ends, if it ends, it doesn't take anything from what you had, what you gave, and what was given, all the love and the memories. who's to say that local relationship won't end and leave you just as hurt?

maybe the difference is age and life experience to date. i'm not interested in having any more children; i think that if i were, there'd be much more pressure on the relationship for us to be together permanently and physically.




no what it is for me is im to the point in my life where i want him here to cuddle with to touch to do things together. i need him physically here. and i wouldnt trade any of my past ones but im to the point in my life where i really want to get married and have a child.

and i dont know if it can be said that its age because i mean a woman at any age could want the same things as me.

SharpShooter10's photo
Tue 09/16/08 11:19 AM

i'm in a long distance relationship, and have been for over two years.

i'm in toronto, and he's in west texas. it isn't the easiest place to travel to (nor the prettiest, haha). neither is it cheap. we don't see each other nearly as much as we'd both like, but somehow we manage to do quite well.

neither of us live our lives with any expectations, and most certainly don't within the relationship. i don't know where we will be this time next year, next month or even next week. but i do know that for today i am in love with him, and he with me and i don't anticipate tomorrow being any different than today.

with neither one of us currently in a position to move, yet still very much in love with each other, we take what is given each day and enjoy it for what it is. i once said to him that all i wanted was a dance and that the rest - if any - would just be icing on the cake. well i'm still eating, haha. i would rather be with this man, and see him way too infrequently, than be with anyone else, and get to see them all the time.

~~~~

we did meet online, not on this site but a similar one. i don't believe that either one of us were actually looking for a relationship, especially one of the long distance kind (i know i certainly wasn't).

if he'd have written to me out of the blue and talked about getting together, etc., i doubt i would have said yes - it would have just seemed insurmountable i guess, and quite a bit bizarre to want to get involved with someone that far away.

we were both forum posters; almost from the day that i first began to post, was the day he made a re-appearance (from one of his many bans haha); if that doesn't sound like it was pre-destined, i don't know what does.

i noticed him almost right away, the wit, the humour, the grace and the intelligence. it didn't take me long to find something to write to him about and the rest, as they say, is history.

i don't think you get to pick with whom you fall in love. it all falls into place in the exact manner in which it was intended.
Very well put

maryelizabeth10's photo
Tue 09/16/08 11:21 AM


ive had a lot of long distance relationships.

ive been saying i wont do another. but now im having doubts. im thinking if hes a good man and you can trust him then why not.

one reason im skeptical is because i cant relocate and im afraid if i got into one and he cant relocate and i cant it'd hurt when it ends you know?



mines my parents. with my dad getting so old no one will take care of my mom if he gets hurt. he fell 3 yrs ago 16 feet down and shattered his leg. i had to take care of my parents then and i was 17. well hes back on his feeting working again but if anything ever happens she cant do anything. she cant hold a job outside the house and she cant drive. so if i go far away no one will be here to take care of either one of them. and i know so many will say dont give up your life for your parents. but i wouldnt feel the same way about myself if i didnt.

Yupp, another of the LDR pitfalls. It is alot to consider. For me, one reason I hesitate to relocate is because my youngest son (11) really should stay in our area till he is pretty much on his own. I am a single mom, so I appreciate the family we have around here that all put in the efforts to help raise him...

bad_girl's photo
Tue 09/16/08 11:25 AM
Hey babes, I already have you started on the northern way by getting you started with the right teams to root for in baseballbigsmile And I can't wait for you to bring your "twangy" northern self right up herelove



I am in an LDR, he is in Louisiana and I am in Maryland. He has asked me to marry him and soon, we will be making plans for him to re-locate


Congrats! That is really good news!
It can work, depends a lot on the people involved. I've lived in Louisiana most of my life except for the military and college, and have no problem taking my twangy southern accent to Maryland.smitten drinks :banana:

BabyFaceLady's photo
Tue 09/16/08 11:28 AM



ive had a lot of long distance relationships.

ive been saying i wont do another. but now im having doubts. im thinking if hes a good man and you can trust him then why not.

one reason im skeptical is because i cant relocate and im afraid if i got into one and he cant relocate and i cant it'd hurt when it ends you know?



mines my parents. with my dad getting so old no one will take care of my mom if he gets hurt. he fell 3 yrs ago 16 feet down and shattered his leg. i had to take care of my parents then and i was 17. well hes back on his feeting working again but if anything ever happens she cant do anything. she cant hold a job outside the house and she cant drive. so if i go far away no one will be here to take care of either one of them. and i know so many will say dont give up your life for your parents. but i wouldnt feel the same way about myself if i didnt.



I would take of my parents also. I just figured if my step father passed away and my mother was left alone and couldn't care for herself I would bring her to live with me where ever I lived at the time. So we'll see about that when and if the time comes because I would definately take care of my mother. People don't live forever and I cherish what time I'll have to be with my mother, even if that means putting my life on hold to care for her.

papersmile's photo
Tue 09/16/08 11:31 AM
and i dont know if it can be said that its age because i mean a woman at any age could want the same things as me.


just to clarify, i meant MY age and MY life experiences. i wouldn't presume to know what another woman wanted, or what worked into her plans.

maryelizabeth10's photo
Tue 09/16/08 11:31 AM




ive had a lot of long distance relationships.

ive been saying i wont do another. but now im having doubts. im thinking if hes a good man and you can trust him then why not.

one reason im skeptical is because i cant relocate and im afraid if i got into one and he cant relocate and i cant it'd hurt when it ends you know?



mines my parents. with my dad getting so old no one will take care of my mom if he gets hurt. he fell 3 yrs ago 16 feet down and shattered his leg. i had to take care of my parents then and i was 17. well hes back on his feeting working again but if anything ever happens she cant do anything. she cant hold a job outside the house and she cant drive. so if i go far away no one will be here to take care of either one of them. and i know so many will say dont give up your life for your parents. but i wouldnt feel the same way about myself if i didnt.



I would take of my parents also. I just figured if my step father passed away and my mother was left alone and couldn't care for herself I would bring her to live with me where ever I lived at the time. So we'll see about that when and if the time comes because I would definately take care of my mother. People don't live forever and I cherish what time I'll have to be with my mother, even if that means putting my life on hold to care for her.



i know my mom wont re-locate she'd insist staying here if she couldnt make it. she's been in the south her whole life and dragging her out is gonna be like pulling teeth out of a tigers mouth. but i love the south too so its not a whole lot to be asked of me

Fade2Black's photo
Tue 09/16/08 12:06 PM

So here is my ponderance;

How many people would be willing to initiate or accept initiation from a person that lives in a different state (or country) as yourself? And if you did, would you be willing to relocate?

Second;
If you met someone locally and were dating, then either you or they moved out of state indefinately, would you stay with them and wait till they came back or would you relocate with them if you could?



I LOVE my space .. so LDR's are good for me. Especially since my life is very full right now, with my kids & my career.

Works for me :banana:

Fade2Black's photo
Tue 09/16/08 12:08 PM


i'm in a long distance relationship, and have been for over two years.

i'm in toronto, and he's in west texas. it isn't the easiest place to travel to (nor the prettiest, haha). neither is it cheap. we don't see each other nearly as much as we'd both like, but somehow we manage to do quite well.

neither of us live our lives with any expectations, and most certainly don't within the relationship. i don't know where we will be this time next year, next month or even next week. but i do know that for today i am in love with him, and he with me and i don't anticipate tomorrow being any different than today.

with neither one of us currently in a position to move, yet still very much in love with each other, we take what is given each day and enjoy it for what it is. i once said to him that all i wanted was a dance and that the rest - if any - would just be icing on the cake. well i'm still eating, haha. i would rather be with this man, and see him way too infrequently, than be with anyone else, and get to see them all the time.

~~~~

we did meet online, not on this site but a similar one. i don't believe that either one of us were actually looking for a relationship, especially one of the long distance kind (i know i certainly wasn't).

if he'd have written to me out of the blue and talked about getting together, etc., i doubt i would have said yes - it would have just seemed insurmountable i guess, and quite a bit bizarre to want to get involved with someone that far away.

we were both forum posters; almost from the day that i first began to post, was the day he made a re-appearance (from one of his many bans haha); if that doesn't sound like it was pre-destined, i don't know what does.

i noticed him almost right away, the wit, the humour, the grace and the intelligence. it didn't take me long to find something to write to him about and the rest, as they say, is history.

i don't think you get to pick with whom you fall in love. it all falls into place in the exact manner in which it was intended.


Very well said Lady paper.


I knew this was Lisa's before I read past line 1. You rock girl!:banana: and so does our dear Robin, the love of your life. bigsmile

no photo
Tue 09/16/08 12:16 PM
LDR are hard but so worth it. I have been in one or two and would not change anything about those relationships.
Good luck to everyone trying to make it work.

no photo
Tue 09/16/08 12:21 PM
They can and do work, but not for me...

beazlie's photo
Tue 09/16/08 12:22 PM
I see no reason for LD relationship. There are so many fish in the sea. What enjoyment could you possibly get from it

TheShadow's photo
Tue 09/16/08 12:33 PM
Edited by TheShadow on Tue 09/16/08 12:34 PM

So here is my ponderance;

How many people would be willing to initiate or accept initiation from a person that lives in a different state (or country) as yourself? And if you did, would you be willing to relocate?

Second;
If you met someone locally and were dating, then either you or they moved out of state indefinately, would you stay with them and wait till they came back or would you relocate with them if you could?


I would move to NY right now in hopes that this woman i have known for almost two years now could start somthing, but right now i have things to deal with and my son to take care of. I did move for one person and this is where i'm at right now. it didn't work out and not because of my part, it was her. She wasn't being honest with herself as far as letting go her ex. Anyway, moving for somone isn't a problem for me. it's just knowing if they are as willing to give as much effert as i am. And i have to say. Alot of women are not....

papersmile's photo
Tue 09/16/08 12:40 PM

I see no reason for LD relationship. There are so many fish in the sea. What enjoyment could you possibly get from it


if i'd have fallen in love with someone who lived 10 miles from me, that would have obviously been better, and things much simpler.

i don't enjoy having him so far away, and certainly wouldn't recommend or encourage people to get involved in long distance relationships; however, it is what it is and i wouldn't just end it because we lived too far from each other. that's just a little thing to overcome in the grand scheme of things.


maryelizabeth10's photo
Tue 09/16/08 12:42 PM

I see no reason for LD relationship. There are so many fish in the sea. What enjoyment could you possibly get from it



i was in a ldr for 2 years. i had so much joy and happiness from it. he was an incredible guy. ill always be happy i met him and took that chance. i know its not for everyone but to say what enjoyment could you possibly get from it is going to insult some people on here and probably cause an argument. to each their own.

no photo
Tue 09/16/08 12:54 PM
i say they are worth it if you find someone who cares just as much for you as you to her. my lady told me quite the shocker yesterday, and we came to the decision "for the relationship, for us." :smile: her going to job corps will indeed be the test for us, but i know we will thrive. happy

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