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Topic: He's so Jealous
no photo
Mon 03/16/09 05:54 PM
yeah, talking about it sounds a lot better than just bailing

maybe you can make him see your point of view. maybe not. but you don't know till you try

fullmoonfairy's photo
Mon 03/16/09 05:56 PM
flowerforyou Much like the Q-Man, I'm afraid I can't really help you but wanted to say hi. How have you been, oh Princess of the North?

challengingmind's photo
Mon 03/16/09 05:56 PM
your dealing with a very serious and potentially dangerous situation.
So far you have pointed out several red flags : jealousy,checking your texts and stuff,isolation,apologizing repeatedly.
You need to get out of the relationship now.There's nothing you can say or do to change him and it will get worse...its not a matter of if but when.

motowndowntown's photo
Mon 03/16/09 05:57 PM
Why would you not have the nerve to say it??? Are you afraid of this guy in some way??

longhairbiker's photo
Mon 03/16/09 05:58 PM
Boot him.

itsasqueakthing's photo
Mon 03/16/09 05:59 PM
no im not afraid of him


I'm just a very shy, very quiet non confrontational person...


I rarely speak up for myself, and when I do...I mess it up and I sound really stupid lol

itsasqueakthing's photo
Mon 03/16/09 06:00 PM
Hi there!!!


LOL


I saw your picture and thought Citrobella!!!


I know thats not your real name ;-)


Miss you guys I had to come back!!

no photo
Mon 03/16/09 06:01 PM

no im not afraid of him


I'm just a very shy, very quiet non confrontational person...


I rarely speak up for myself, and when I do...I mess it up and I sound really stupid lol


you do not sound stupid

itsasqueakthing's photo
Mon 03/16/09 06:02 PM
awe thanks q man


I admit, I am MUCH better at handling the written and musical word than the spoken one...


I do have a stutter when I get nervous, relic from childhood...


Any MAYBE my self confidence isn't the greatest sometimes...

njmom05's photo
Mon 03/16/09 06:03 PM
Edited by njmom05 on Mon 03/16/09 06:03 PM
I agree with everyone here. I was married to someone who was extremely jealous and overbearing. I had NO friends when I was married, which included isolating me from my own family. He checked the phone, he would call my work to make sure I was there, he'd call the daycare to find out what time I dropped off our child and would text me to see what time I picked him up in the afternoon. Believe me when I say it, it will only get worse unless you tell him how you feel. Confronting him isn't going to be easy, but you sure deserve better than how you are being treated.
flowerforyou

Meg8771's photo
Mon 03/16/09 06:03 PM
As others have said, his behaviors are raising some serious red flags. Jealousy can become deadly very fast, I know from experience. Get out while you can - it is no way to live. Sleeping with one eye open all of the time is also no way to live.

There are several other red flags you should look for:

has he ever been violent?
does he check up on you or try to manipulate the "truth" out of you?
has he got you isolated from friends and/or family?
is he verbally threatening to you?
does he make comments such as if you leave him he will do....?

If you answer yes to these things, please get out while you can. I am not insinuating that he is a violent person, just be wary.

Best of luck to you flowerforyou

motowndowntown's photo
Mon 03/16/09 06:09 PM

no im not afraid of him


I'm just a very shy, very quiet non confrontational person...


I rarely speak up for myself, and when I do...I mess it up and I sound really stupid lol

You are non confrontational, passive. He is acting passive agresive in order to control you. Do you see any problems with that type of relationship?

Tazz42's photo
Mon 03/16/09 06:19 PM

your dealing with a very serious and potentially dangerous situation.
So far you have pointed out several red flags : jealousy,checking your texts and stuff,isolation,apologizing repeatedly.
You need to get out of the relationship now.There's nothing you can say or do to change him and it will get worse...its not a matter of if but when.



This lady right here said it all.......flowers

This jealousy issue is a insecurity and it can't be fixed by you....it isn't your issue it is HIS.

If you keep thinking that it will work itself out...your just lieing to yourself. I have read all that you have written, and being from past relationships like this one....
I ask one question....
If you had a dear friend in the same type of situation, would you tell her to walk away before it became more than she could handle?

And guaranteed, it will get worse!

I hope that you are alright with this...but it's true. and you really need to think about it from another point of view....hence, a friends point of view as you are watching her go through this.

Good luck!flowers

SitkaRains's photo
Mon 03/16/09 06:33 PM
I personally will not deal with jealousy... I have many male friends they come and go in my home as I do theirs.

I am sorry, I think you know that you are the only one who can decide how long you want to walk on those shells before you choose to crush them.

I think you should ask yourself these questions among others.


1. Do you see yourself doing this for the next 30 years and are you happy going it.

2. What would you tell a sibling, best friend, child.

Probably RUN FOREST RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I have been with a couple of men that were jealous after I had exhausted all conversation on it since I also don't believe in cheating... I finally reached the point I was done.


Now I tell friends, dates etc... I don't do jealousy and if you do please don't waste your time or mine. Since there is no future with me.

no photo
Mon 03/16/09 06:55 PM
What I don't see here is anyone telling you different things Tbney all agree to some extent that your situation as you explained it. Will not work. His jealousy of you and your friends will only make you withdraw more Sure you could give him what you wrote on here But I feel you would be lighting a fuse.. No one should live like that I know love can let you accept a lot of things. But only you can draw the line as far as your life is concerned. YOU need to set the rules for you. And it sounded like you have said this before to him to no avail.. GET OUT while you can I know I would... take care and good luck

s1owhand's photo
Mon 03/16/09 07:04 PM
he's insecure and/or controlling - he/you both might need some counseling help to beat it but if you don't work on it, then it will work on you...

flowerforyou

no photo
Mon 03/16/09 07:04 PM
Run... do not walk... to the nearest exit and don't look back!

I've been in that situation and it never ends well. After he broke a guy's arm for talking to me at a picnic (could possibly be considered hitting on me...but so mildy it wasn't even really registering on the flirt-meter), he started to belittle me, control everything I did, refused to let me talk to certain people, and made it to where he was basically my only "friend". Eventually his jealousy interfered with my family. When he refused to "let" me go see my Mom, it was a wake up call. Don't let it get that far.

If you have doubts about him and the way he makes you feel... move on. There are better ones out there that are worth your time and effort.

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