I guess I have a problem effectively communicating that there will be nothing between us. LOL...

Pretty much I thought that saying those words would be effective..

I guess I was wrong, since they still contact me, whatever, wanting to give it another try.


Do you listen when someone tells you they don't want to be with you? Or when you have to tell someone that, do they listen, or do I just get the crazy ones?

I don't like being rude, I try to avoid it, but I guess.. sometimes.. I have to reach my inner ***** and let her out....

make sure your body language doesn't say the opposite of your mouth.

i had a girl that told me she just wanted to be friends, but then she would text me on the way to work to "just say hi". and when we spent time together she was very playful physically. i'm not suggesting that you're doing anything to lead the man on, but if you tell a guy that you're not interested or just want to be friends, don't call him "just to see how he's doing".
as guys we understand that just being friends means i'll be nice to you if i see you but i hope i don't see you. well most of us understand that. if you continue to initiate contact it will confuse him and make him think you're interested. the best thing to do is be blunt and if he calls/writes/texts don't keep the conversation going. make sure you tell him you're not interested in talking to him.

as i've said, i'm not insinuating that you've intentionally led him on, just make sure that you don't unintentionally lead him on.

good luck.


. . .

I know exactly what you mean. Most of the emails I get are from 20 something women and when I tell them that I'm not interested they keep writing back anyway.I've had to get rude with a lot of them. Of course they're the ones that are scammers anyway.

I've had the same problem. It usually is a result of being too kind and a lack of closure, in combination.

Once I figured that out, I end it. Clean. I tell them it's over, it will always be over, and that we could never get back together. I've done more as well, depending on the situation. Almost my entire adult life when a relationship or dating thing ended, they would call me up later, sometimes a year later, and want me to take them back.

My answer? If I wasn't good enough for you then why am I good enough for you now? (Rhetorical, of course)

The easiest way to do this is to be blunt. If I don't respect them, I tell them. I cannot be in a relationship, even a friendship, with someone I do not respect. I tell them that too.

If they ask to be friends? Well, maybe someday.

When I'm told by a guy that he's not interested I move on. I've politely told some that I'm not interested and they've left me be.

Some are just not good at getting the hint.. Be real BLUNT!

Ahhhhhhh yes .. my proverbial problem in life

They ALWAYS regret
They ALWAYS return
It's ALWAYS too late

I have only ever had one stalker; usually when I ignore someone they get the point very quickly. The key is to completely ignore them; these type of people will look for any crack to insert themselves. If the get one response in 50, that will motivate them to keep trying.

Some people seem to be listening but they are not, they usually are already thinking of what they will be saying when they should be listening. So I guess you get the ones that are a wall they are there they nod but they don't hear a word your saying.

Good luck in the future.

I had this problem a while back when I first joined the internet world. I was brought up rudeness was not going to happen. In person I can get the point across with out being blunt and rude that there is no interest. Here in the internet world I have found I have to be very blunt to the point I feel I am rude at times.

Good luck