I think my fiance is depressed....I have been trying really hard to cheer him up by fixing nice dinners, renting his favorite movies, trying to cuddle...nothing is working. He usually just snaps at me or tells me to go find something to do. If I cry about it, he gets frustrated and says that it's all I ever do. I don't know what to do....He doesn't even want to have sex with me. I try holding him in bed and he shrugs me off....he says he is too old...I am twenty and he's twenty nine...I hardly think that that is an explanation....

Any suggestions? Any thing I can do to help him out?

Time to leave.......

drop me an e-mail be seeing you

I can't just leave...I have put everything into this relationship....I have a house in my name, all the bills in my name....It's a big mess....

Depression is a horrible feeling. I would see if he needs to talk to someone. An outside influence....might be able to help him.

Good luck, I hope he feels better soon.

I'm sorry......it hurts to be shunned. Do you have a friend you can go hang with? Might be the time to take a step away and get your mind off of it.

You cannot help someone who doesn't realize or want help.

sorry

The thing is my friends and I have sort of grown apart this last year....

Sounds like he's stuck in a rut or depressed, maybe he needs counselling.

Oh dear......let me guess, you've been putting all your energy into him?

You can just end it. You have to. You can't fix him. Money is just money, get a roommate and kick him out. I understand it's hard, but your relationship is already over, and you did nothing.

OR.... stay and deal. It's a long road 'til someone gains insight into a mental illness. They can't think they are sick. Their brain is sick, and that is what they think with. I just got out of a situation with a brilliant man who was very very depressed. He refused to get help. He liked being miserable. And misery sure does love company sometimes....

yeah....I do about everything around the house cuz he's a roofer and works way harder than I do, since I am just a cashier at walmart....

<----this guy is single

Hmmm. You seem to have alot going for you, nice dreams, big plans. Maybe he is wondering if he is good enough? It happens sometimes. He's your fiance, so the next time you're alone with him let him know in a relaxed way that you love him just the way he is regardless of what happens in your lives, you want to be by his side.

I don't want to think negatively about him and another person and I really hope that is not the case.

How can I just end it? He's been my everything...And I was sure this one was going to work....I think it is me....I must be broken or something when it comes to relationships.....they all end bad...but if this one ends, it'll be the worst...

I haven't been dreaming that big lately.. I am not in college anymore because I can't afford it. Those dreams and plans are on a back burner...

As pat said.. maybe he need's some counselling to help him out.

please dont think it is you that is broken, it doesnt sound like it, like someone mentioned earlier, you are not the one shunning him...

it would seem that something is weighing greatly on his mind. from what you've said it appears to be some feeling of inadequacy. he probably need some sort or reassurance that you really want to be with him and that for you the age difference in of no consequence.

it is common for people to become depressed when they are stressed out about something. their minds hold on to the the problem and the constant dwelling makes the problem seem insurmountable. you might try to have a quiet conversation expressing to him that you've noticed that he seems distant and ask him if there's something that he'd would like to talk about even if he just needs a sounding board.

i can't say that it would work or not. i'm just trying to give you ideas and opinions.
best of luck.


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I just want him to be happy...I love him so much....it hurts so bad that he is miserable and I can't fix it...I just cry all the time....one benefit is that I have lost about 15 lbs through all of this...