100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: How do two strong personalities keep from butting heads? | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
I have a big personality, and can be hard headed about some things. A guy I am dating is also hard headed about things. Lately we have been clashing over very small things and we are each absolutely convinced that we are in the right. This has lead to some arguing. Assuming we want to build something together, we need to find a way to be together without clashing, yet still not feel like we are compromising on the things that are important to us. Obviously, if we are always biting our tongues or giving into each other just for the sake of peace, we aren't being ourselves, and that could backfire.
Does anyone have any experience with this? Any tips on how two strong personalities build a good relationship together without fighting? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You both need to learn to compromise, or let the relationship die.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It takes more strength to compromise than to prevail.
A classic problem in math, biology and game theory. Basically, you have to both agree on how to manage your differences through negotiation and compromise. It is not easy. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I have a big personality, and can be hard headed about some things. A guy I am dating is also hard headed about things. Lately we have been clashing over very small things and we are each absolutely convinced that we are in the right. This has lead to some arguing. Assuming we want to build something together, we need to find a way to be together without clashing, yet still not feel like we are compromising on the things that are important to us. Obviously, if we are always biting our tongues or giving into each other just for the sake of peace, we aren't being ourselves, and that could backfire. Does anyone have any experience with this? Any tips on how two strong personalities build a good relationship together without fighting?  They don't.They agree to mutually consent to each other on certain subjects
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
see Chicken, Hawk-Dove, and Mutually Assured Destruction...
 from the Wiki: The game of Chicken, also known as the Hawk-Dove or Snowdrift[1] game, is an influential model of conflict for two players in game theory. The principle of the game is that while each player prefers not to yield to the other, the outcome where neither player yields is the worst possible one for both players. The name "Chicken" has its origins in a game in which two drivers drive towards each other on a collision course: one must swerve, or both may die in the crash, but if one driver swerves and the other does not, the one who swerved will be called a "chicken," meaning a coward; this terminology is most prevalent in political science and economics. The name "Hawk-Dove" refers to a situation in which there is a competition for a shared resource and the contestants can choose either conciliation or conflict; this terminology is most commonly used in biology and evolutionary game theory. From a game-theoretic point of view, "Chicken" and "Hawk-Dove" are identical; the different names stem from parallel development of the basic principles in different research areas.[2] The game has also been used to describe the mutual assured destruction of nuclear warfare.[3] The game is similar to the prisoner's dilemma game in that an "agreeable" mutual solution is unstable since both players are individually tempted to stray from it. However, it differs in the cost of responding to such a deviation. This means that, even in an iterated version of the game, retaliation is ineffective, and a mixed strategy may be more appropriate. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sometimes you just have to allow the person who feels strongest about the issue to have their way. Next time, they might be a bit more lenient in giving you yours. Otherwise, learn to compromise.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
get in the 69 position
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You can agree to disagree if its unimportant. Something along the lines of your wrong but that is ok. You can be a stubborn and strong person without needing to change another persons mind.... or at least thats my theory.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
In my past experience there has to be acceptance that we may be right in our mind we many not be "Right" per say.
Some times there can be no compromising. Me for instance, I will not go to church for any reason other than to make money. I would never look down on her for her faith, I just don't practice it and will not. Political ideology is the same thing almost but you can find a comfortable middle ground if you look. The trick is not to spend too much time together and like Tigers (WHICH ARE A DAMN GOOD EXAMPLE) both parties need to have their "Exclusive" territory to escape the other and I do not mean a "spare tire" relationship. For example, He goes on three day long blue water fishing trips and she has week end seminars she attends for educational purposes. Having an escape from each other from time to time is CRITICAL! I cannot stress that enough. The thing with "strong" or "Alpha" personality types is that we can get along long term but again we need free space to get away from each other or we wind up turning on each other. Wolves may mate for life but the dominate male will go his own way from time to time without the female. Damn if I can't appreciate the beauty in that. Dealing with the same person 24/7 can be very trying at times. There are also situations where the clash is so persistent and so strong that it is better to part ways and remain friends. Compromise is a great BUZZ word but the reality of it is compromise comes on far too many levels to be convenient or easy. What also helps is to agree to disagree, overlook the dogma, and get on with your lives and not let whatever the triviality is eat at you all the time. There is the festering wound that harbors the bacteria of discontent and conflict. Other than that my Alpha Sister, Party on... and Be Excellent!!!  And today's safe word is !
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I have a big personality, and can be hard headed about some things. A guy I am dating is also hard headed about things. Lately we have been clashing over very small things and we are each absolutely convinced that we are in the right. This has lead to some arguing. Assuming we want to build something together, we need to find a way to be together without clashing, yet still not feel like we are compromising on the things that are important to us. Obviously, if we are always biting our tongues or giving into each other just for the sake of peace, we aren't being ourselves, and that could backfire. Does anyone have any experience with this? Any tips on how two strong personalities build a good relationship together without fighting? me and my ex same way.know i wish i had just let her think she was right.i would know the truth.  i've figured out i would rather argue with her then love anybody else
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks for all the great replies, everyone! Please keep them coming!
In my past experience there has to be acceptance that we may be right in our mind we many not be "Right" per say. Some times there can be no compromising. Me for instance, I will not go to church for any reason other than to make money. I would never look down on her for her faith, I just don't practice it and will not. Political ideology is the same thing almost but you can find a comfortable middle ground if you look. The trick is not to spend too much time together and like Tigers (WHICH ARE A DAMN GOOD EXAMPLE) both parties need to have their "Exclusive" territory to escape the other and I do not mean a "spare tire" relationship. For example, He goes on three day long blue water fishing trips and she has week end seminars she attends for educational purposes. Having an escape from each other from time to time is CRITICAL! I cannot stress that enough. The thing with "strong" or "Alpha" personality types is that we can get along long term but again we need free space to get away from each other or we wind up turning on each other. Wolves may mate for life but the dominate male will go his own way from time to time without the female. Damn if I can't appreciate the beauty in that. Dealing with the same person 24/7 can be very trying at times. There are also situations where the clash is so persistent and so strong that it is better to part ways and remain friends. Compromise is a great BUZZ word but the reality of it is compromise comes on far too many levels to be convenient or easy. What also helps is to agree to disagree, overlook the dogma, and get on with your lives and not let whatever the triviality is eat at you all the time. There is the festering wound that harbors the bacteria of discontent and conflict. Other than that my Alpha Sister, Party on... and Be Excellent!!! And today's safe word is ! Wow, this is great advice. I hadn't thought about some of these things before. I definitely will now though! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Communication and compromise is key.
Relationships are a give and take! You both will have to make some sacrifices. There is not one relationship out there were both partners agree on EVERYTHING. That would be sooo boring!! If there are big differences on beliefs and lifestyles, then I would reevaluate the relationship. When partners start to nitpick away on the little things they cannot agree upon, the relationship is heading downhill anyway in my opinion. No one wants to argue all the time. Reminds me of a incident at work: One of my collegues at work came to work one day, all disgruntled. Her and her man argued over a friggen cookie!! She wanted to buy the chocolate chip cookies, but he wanted the peanut cookies.. I mean come on!!! Her whole day was ruined because of that. She was soo pissed. I couldn't believe it! Sounds ridiculous, I know, but this was serious business to her and her man. I would advise to start making sacrifices on the little things first. And then work out the bigger issues. If you falter on getting the little things sorted out, you may want to split ways. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
pick your battles. in other words, decide on the things that are most important to you and the other stuff...let it go. this worked as a parent, it should transcend into relationships.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
get in the 69 position 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You can agree to disagree if its unimportant. Something along the lines of your wrong but that is ok. You can be a stubborn and strong person without needing to change another persons mind.... or at least thats my theory. You are wrong, but that's ok.  
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Have more sex.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Have more sex.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ummmmm..... who says someone has to back down, bite their tongue, or concede?
On the little stuff.. the old adage..'Don't sweat the small stuff' works.... on the big stuff? Strap on the battle armour, it's gonna be a looooong siege..!!!!   
|
|
|
|
|
