In the case of my daughter's mom....we knew each other since we were kids. We just kinda wound up together.

Second case...we were friends for quite a while online.

Third case...same deal.

Fourth...we met in a bar. I invited her to dinner at my house and she just pretty much never left. But she was the only one that didn't cheat on me. lol

Fifth...I am just gonna chalk that one up to being an idiot. Number 5 was the same one as number 3.

* note * Number 3 didn't cheat on me until she was number 5. She was faithful the first time around. At least as far as I know.

Only online deals have been numbers 2 and 3/5.

4 I met in a bar....and the first I had known for a very long time.

So....should I take that to mean that the women I meet online are, for the most part, gonna be cheaters and therefore I should not even bother with being on dating sites??? lol

I'll tell you a thought that sort of scares me --

I've met 9 people from dating sites, and they were all disasters of Hindenburg proportions.

I have friends on dating sites -- people I've never met in person -- who legitimately come across as decent, caring, loving, good-hearted, genuine people. Some of them have my phone number, some I've exchanged regular mail with, etc.

In the back of my mind, there is this idea that, if I ever met any of them in person, they would turn out to be exactly the same as the lunatics I actually HAVE met, in person, from dating sites.

It's a scary thought....

Mitigated somewhat, perhaps, by the idea that none of the ones I met from OTHER sources turned out to be any better, in the long run....but still....

I was off to bed but this thread caught my eye so bare with me, I am tired.

I was in five failed relationships and the reason for the failure although cheating did happen was I attract addicts. The addiction causes many many issues including cheating.

I have done the codependency stuff and have evaluated my self for self esteem issues and so on and so forth but I still seem to be attracting addicts to this day.

I can't figure it out. I keep wondering if fate is not trying to tell me I need to be a drug counselor or something.

Just thought I would share so you do not feel so alone. You are not the only one who has this type of problem.

Most of the men were Cappies too...lol I don't know if that means anything either.

Well..the way I see it...the people who aren't looking to " get with you " are a lot more likely to be just who they portray themselves to be.

It's the ones that are looking for relationships that you have to watch out for.

The only disadvantage to meeting up with you would be that a person might have to make sure they have their thesaurus handy. But then again, they probably know that anyway. lol

Seriously, though. The only thing you can really do is just take the chance that they are who they say they are.

I do agree that it can be a rather frightening/worrisome thing. I mean, it really does kinda suck to think that someone could have you fooled into thinking they were a decent person for an extended period of time, only to turn out to be a complete hose.