What kind of moral obligation do you feel you have to your ex in-laws? Feel free to talk about what you do or don't do, but please also include your thoughts on what the moral obligation is. I'm talking in regards to birthdays, parties, gatherings and even just keeping in touch.

I will say this.....in my personal situation, they do next to nothing to call up and talk or ask to see my kids. I'm not real sure if that is their doing or partly mine by not continuing to put the effort forth. My ex-husband does absolutely nothing to make sure the kids see their grandparents or aunts and uncles.

How much of this is my responsibility?

obligation to my ex inlaws?

zero

none, haven't seen em in ten years...

Have your kids?

As the grandparents to my children, I am completely obligated to honour them.

They chose not to reciprocate and as a consequence chose not to see their grankids....it's also been ten years.

nope

None at all. My former mother-in-law hired people to kill me before I could get the divorce finalized, operating under the assumption that an inheritance I was to receive would go to my wife, as my "surviving spouse," if I died before the divorce was complete.

This is not the sort of situation that is conducive to amicable post-divorce interaction....

zero ,zilch. zip.. nada.. goose egg..

who are they again.. we got along just fine while i was the son in-law but after the divorce i was the bad guy .not a peep from them or card or a call..they gave me the speal i will always be part of the family.. right.

See that's the thing.....I also feel some sort of obligation. And I know if I take the kids around they would be more than willing to see them. However, as far as them calling up and asking to see them, I get nothing. We've been down this road before. I want to do right by the kids, but feel it could only further the distance they feel from their dad and that side of the family. Leaving it alone has put some time from the pain for the kids, and they seem to be ok with not seeing them.

none. My son gos to spend time with his father and grandmother, and hes 10, he sees who he wants to see if its important to him.


My child doesnt need a bunch of people shoved down his throat, and i speak to my sons father, and grandmother occasionally, more often when he is there, just to pretend i really give a crap about their take on how hes doing to know how they are treating him.


I dont have any of my sons uncles or aunts in his life, and were fine. We dont do gifts, get togethers or parties. We have our own lives, which are full enough, without adding a bunch of people.


Not important, i never saw my cousins, never met my grandparents...


They dont call me, i dont call them. How do people have all this time for all these people anyway?

I got that line too......but it seems it's me who has to do all the footwork. I would like to be consistent in teaching the kids to honor the family though. It's a weird situation for me.

It sucks.

The kids grandparents chose to divorce all of us, when their son and I parted.

The kids are the victims in that....not the grandparents.

Some people have difficulty thinking past themselves...

I miss them.... What contact?? None. Good topic....

I could make the time if I felt it was productive. I'm just not sure if it is right now. I am feeling guilty for not keeping in touch with them though.

u have none.if they chose not to see the grandkids then that is there problem and there lost.

well, you could call em, no commitment in that, deed done, if it makes ya feel better. OR email updates with pictures.. Maybe even you could link them to your facebook occasionally for new pictures, and updates, or myspace, or whatever.. I mean if it really means so much to you, or them.

Don't feel quilty.

~~~~~~

for me, no obligation exists at all

however, if my kids' father died, i probably would try to get them to see their grandparents, until such an age that they were able to do so themselves.

I have 2 sisters in law (ex) on my facebook, but they rarely post anything to me and have not once inquired about the kids. However, I can't say I have asked much after theirs either. One niece and one nephew have a birthday same day as mine and we were not invited to any parties. In fact, nobody in that side of the family wished me a happy birthday as well. I did post happy birthday wishes on their wall for the kids. I dunno.....I guess I should get off my *** and just make phone calls every once in a while. At least I can say I tried.