Today I sobbed...


Went to a family reunion today. The family of my deceased
fiance', Marvin whom passed in ninetythree.
Seen alot of people there. Children grown up, with
children of their own. Sitting there I started to reminisce.
My thoughts filled with many things that I miss.
Wondering how my life, had come to be like this.


Kind of glad a couple of my kids had gone with me there too.
So I was able to hold it together for awhile.
The feelings I felt today just rocketed me right thru.
This must be the month for me and yesterdays I swear.
For on the tweenty seventh, eleven years ago my Mom had passed
away. Been really missing her. Marvin has been gone
sixteen years now. Over him I had shed many loving tears.
A true love, lost upon his death bed- all those years ago.


A few days back I seen my ex boyfriend with his new victum
(girlfriend) in tow. Wanted to warn her, but I'm not that kind of gal.
I was with him fourteen years on and off. That man though I loved him,
had caused me many different kind of tears. I found myself
jealous that day. Not cause I wanted him back, noway. I envied
the fact that he had found someone, and I had not.


I was glad to see my stepdaughters and my stepgrandkids
at the reunion today. Thankfull and gratefull I am still family to
them. Glad to see many there and did enjoy my day.
Yet when I got home, I sat there thinking how lonely I really was.
I guess I did'nt realize this, and because of this... I sobbed.




~teddy~
08-29-09

(Sorry needed to vent, thanks for letting me.)