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Topic: Truth
EquusDancer's photo
Mon 02/15/10 09:54 PM
Brutal truth or polite truth. What's better with regards to relationships, dating, friends or aquaintances?

An aquaintance who I'd met online a couple of years ago, is now asking why we never went beyond the first meeting. I've politely let it go at we wouldn't have worked out. Now he's upset about his most recent engagement breaking off, and it shifted to why I didn't.

I've politely told him I had problems with the fact that I don't really do physical contact right off the bat, and I basically spent the whole time fighting him off, which seriously pissed me off. No means no, to me, and I don't screw around like that.

Brutally honest, I felt like I was fighting an octopus the whole time, and I probably would have had an easier time with the invertebrate! When I finally got him to quit, he'd sit and sulk.

I can deal with a hug upon meeting someone, a handshake, that sort of thing, but give it some time, and personal space. Let me get to know you first! Sheesh!

no photo
Mon 02/15/10 10:56 PM
Brutal Honesty!!That is the only thing he will understand!
J.M.O.

yellowrose10's photo
Mon 02/15/10 10:58 PM
I'd rather someone just come out and say it. Don't sugar coat it and don't be nasty or rude. Just tell it like it is

msharmony's photo
Mon 02/15/10 10:58 PM
brutal truth ONLY if all other options are exhausted...

JustAGuy2112's photo
Mon 02/15/10 10:59 PM
Edited by JustAGuy2112 on Mon 02/15/10 10:59 PM

I'd rather someone just come out and say it. Don't sugar coat it and don't be nasty or rude. Just tell it like it is


Me too.

I would rather not have someone blowing sunshine up my azz.

just tell me in plain language.

because that's what you are going to get from me.

EquusDancer's photo
Mon 02/15/10 11:02 PM
Well, I think he finally got the polite, so we will see. Shakes head.

skydancingA's photo
Tue 02/16/10 07:36 AM
Mmmmm/
When I hear the words "brutal" and "honesty" put together,
I know there is bad news afoot for somebody.

On the other hand, if you are who you are from the getgo,
who can complain after?
And if being who you are means the affection has to wait
until it is earned, so be it.
Grownups will grasp this.

Shasta1's photo
Tue 02/16/10 07:48 AM
Was that all that discouraged you from contiuing the adventure? I seriuosly understand your point, but am curious. As people had told me, honesty and to the point makes the best policy. People misunderstand us (or choose NOT to listen- going with their own agenda)aggravate the heck out me- but if it was just miscommunication...That's a totally different. What were you communicating?flowerforyou

no photo
Tue 02/16/10 08:47 AM
Brutal truth or polite truth? Truth is truth. If it's washed down to lighten it in order to present your feelings, it is not truth. It is less.

Of course online, it's best to consider all truth lies because, as your incident sadly demonstrates, that he man is a whiney, clingy, pathetic crybaby. Bet his profile didn't say that when you became "virtual friends".


XenomorphEyez's photo
Tue 02/16/10 11:01 AM
Most people can't handle brutal truth.

Just cut off contact with the guy if he keeps bothering you. Tell him to leave you the f@ck alone or lose his balls if he comes near you again.

CatsLoveMe's photo
Tue 02/16/10 11:36 AM

EquusDancer's photo
Tue 02/16/10 11:46 AM

Was that all that discouraged you from contiuing the adventure? I seriuosly understand your point, but am curious. As people had told me, honesty and to the point makes the best policy. People misunderstand us (or choose NOT to listen- going with their own agenda)aggravate the heck out me- but if it was just miscommunication...That's a totally different. What were you communicating?flowerforyou


Fighting an octopus?! Yeah. Because of the entire lack of respect for physical boundaries with essentially a total stranger.

I repeatedly said no, and gave even told him why I wanted him to stop, which shouldn't have to be done. He stopped, sulked and then did it again. Finally, he left. There was no miscommunication on my part, and his failure to understand was his problem.

no photo
Tue 02/16/10 12:48 PM
Edited by 35TOO on Tue 02/16/10 12:49 PM

Brutal truth or polite truth. What's better with regards to relationships, dating, friends or aquaintances?

An aquaintance who I'd met online a couple of years ago, is now asking why we never went beyond the first meeting. I've politely let it go at we wouldn't have worked out. Now he's upset about his most recent engagement breaking off, and it shifted to why I didn't.

I've politely told him I had problems with the fact that I don't really do physical contact right off the bat, and I basically spent the whole time fighting him off, which seriously pissed me off. No means no, to me, and I don't screw around like that.

Brutally honest, I felt like I was fighting an octopus the whole time, and I probably would have had an easier time with the invertebrate! When I finally got him to quit, he'd sit and sulk.

I can deal with a hug upon meeting someone, a handshake, that sort of thing, but give it some time, and personal space. Let me get to know you first! Sheesh!

ALWAYS BE HONEST AND TRUTHFULL IT PAYS OFF IN THE LONG RUN...........

no photo
Tue 02/16/10 01:11 PM
Brutal honesty, please and thank you.

no photo
Tue 02/16/10 01:25 PM

Brutal honesty, please and thank you.
YOUR A GOOD WOMAN..............

Shasta1's photo
Tue 02/16/10 11:26 PM


Was that all that discouraged you from contiuing the adventure? I seriuosly understand your point, but am curious. As people had told me, honesty and to the point makes the best policy. People misunderstand us (or choose NOT to listen- going with their own agenda)aggravate the heck out me- but if it was just miscommunication...That's a totally different. What were you communicating?flowerforyou


Fighting an octopus?! Yeah. Because of the entire lack of respect for physical boundaries with essentially a total stranger.

I repeatedly said no, and gave even told him why I wanted him to stop, which shouldn't have to be done. He stopped, sulked and then did it again. Finally, he left. There was no miscommunication on my part, and his failure to understand was his problem.



My mistake. Sorry. I guess my communication was bad:wink: . I meant when he wanted to get back, did you communicate to him your words that you've expressed here? (You were a octopus, didn't respect me last time, ect)

EquusDancer's photo
Tue 02/16/10 11:35 PM



Was that all that discouraged you from contiuing the adventure? I seriuosly understand your point, but am curious. As people had told me, honesty and to the point makes the best policy. People misunderstand us (or choose NOT to listen- going with their own agenda)aggravate the heck out me- but if it was just miscommunication...That's a totally different. What were you communicating?flowerforyou


Fighting an octopus?! Yeah. Because of the entire lack of respect for physical boundaries with essentially a total stranger.

I repeatedly said no, and gave even told him why I wanted him to stop, which shouldn't have to be done. He stopped, sulked and then did it again. Finally, he left. There was no miscommunication on my part, and his failure to understand was his problem.



My mistake. Sorry. I guess my communication was bad:wink: . I meant when he wanted to get back, did you communicate to him your words that you've expressed here? (You were a octopus, didn't respect me last time, ect)


Yes. And he didn't respond beyond to say I was an amazing women and he'd like to meet up again. frustrated frustrated

I thanked him and said Nope.

Shasta1's photo
Wed 02/17/10 10:51 AM
I'm thinkin of getting a tazer.....:wink:

EquusDancer's photo
Wed 02/17/10 10:58 PM
Edited by EquusDancer on Wed 02/17/10 10:58 PM

I'm thinkin of getting a tazer.....:wink:


Cattle prod! Longer reach, and can press on it and pin 'em. My brother tried it on himself, and it totally dropped him. Sadly, I couldn't get him to do it again when I was home! Blast it all!

And yes, I'm serious. I love my brother but he can be a dork, sometimes. laugh

Course, I can't talk him into peeing on the electric fence, but hey, I have hopes!

Shasta1's photo
Thu 02/18/10 12:15 AM
laugh a cattle prod, holy smokes (literally)!
Dang, thats something I'd end up doing to myself.laugh

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