so i finally left my ex i should say for the millionth time ,i got tired of his babies momma calling me and saying she was going to sue me for talking to him.

so anyway hes in the national guard and well the day he left he texted me and said that hes leaving now and i should enjoy myself.

the day i broke up with him again he told me she took the kid and left and cut her off financially.

it was a 4 year relationship he would always tell me he was always too busy to talk to me but never too busy to text and complain about my brother.

my thing is im having a kina hard time letting go it was 4 years and i cried when i saw a national guard advertisement.im just worried what will happen when he comes home,hes my drug and im having a hard time quitting him,i guess also like i made a mistake leaving him that and he always blamed me for everything!

i want to move on but im scared when he comes home it will start all over again!

you say he is your drug, well just like drug abusers trying to quit...you have to detox and go through withdrawals. Just don't relapse.

I got some pot

nah i dont want to swap on addiction for another!lol

When you start to miss him, remember what an azzhole he was to you, that's what I do.

thats what ive been doing but i cant figure out why i stil feel guilty.it bugs me

Women are conditioned to feel guilty. That's one thing I hate about being female. I'm working on not taking all the blame for something that's not 100% my fault. It's hard though.

this was a bit hard to follow (for me) but in what little you explain here i would say RUN! omg! why would you or anyone else be involved in a lifestyle that brings so much DRAMA? i bet you have just scratched the surface with your description here...just move on and find HEALTHY relationship to invest your time in.

yeah exspecialty when he always blamed me or yelled at me even when i was always at his side to show support wow im lame

So what does vicoden have to do with this conversation?

First of all you're NOT lame.

Second of all, don't worry about him, worry about yourself and love yourself.

uggg once a week it seems.... i read this same post from you... i guess there is no point in anyone giving advice... how do you even call it a relationship when u break up once a week? that is not a relationship in my eyes... why end it?.. i say.. let the games begin..it may take more than vicodin... go seek help... see what they can give you.... reach out in new ways... broaden your horizons. find yourself....

wow thanks afer all i didnt say i was with him and im rying to move on and and you had to get kina snotty about it?awesome.

We love you (((Bee)))

My ex used to tell me I was her drug.

She ****s for heroin now.

Careful, careful, with the addictions you choose. People come and go. Chemicals seem to stick around longer.

I wonder what it's like to be someone's drug......doesn't sound very pleasant. Like being their world or their everything, too much pressure.

ive never touched a drug in my life but i know i need and im working on getting over him,i know hes toxic for me but i could go with out the rude and snotty comments of some im happy for them they arent struggling with 4 freaking years of guilt.give them a freakin guilt free cookie.im getting better day by day little by little and im even considering going to church!

thanks LeighAnna9