why is people ask for honesty and then get all ticked off when i give it to them...and really I am not mean about it just blatently honest!

some people don't see honesty that is given to them as honesty, they see it the way they want to see it... more like an opinion than honesty.

I think many ask for honesty, but only want what they believe.
Others that think different can't be changed & thus are not "honest".
But what do I know, this is just my "honesty".

there's a certain amount of tact required when giving someone an honest answer. 'not being mean' is subjective.

telling me that i might find a more suitable dress is a little different than telling me i look like a pig in it.

Which is why my brand of honesty doesn't work...but at least I accept that I am a jackass about it.

Now YOU could never look like a pig, even in a pig costume.

Who would tell you that???? oh my....

Some people have thinner skin than others, and maybe mistake honesty as something said to be purposely hurtful? Being tactful can be difficult sometimes, and I have a tendency to say what pops into my head. Guess I've unintentionally hurt some feelings because of that, but I was truly just trying to be honest.

A pig? Now. that would be a blatant lie...not honesty.

Biker babe, could you please give an example? I cannot really offer an opinion on this, as it depends on the situation, I would have to see it in context. For example, if it's just some random guy chucking a fit because you said no to dating him or whatever, he's probably just upset that he hasn't been unable to find anyone who's attracted to him yet-which is to do with him, not you. that has everything to do with him, not you, but it's still better for him to be annoyed then to keep pursuing you, I remember I got annoyed when a girl kept saying she was busy all the time, when what she actually was trying to say is "i don't want to date you."

so what situation are you referring to?

well i didn't mean 'me' personally, but thanks for all your support.

When you said that originally, about the pig thing, I had to re-read it several times because I thought I read it wrong....hehehe

Everything that should be said shouldnt always be said. You have to consider how much you care about the person. Sometimes you have to redirect the question, so they give themselves the answer.

In one word...egoism.

To expound a bit, people will go to great lengths to maintain their self concept and if what you say opposes that view, they'll react negatively, naturally. Self preservation is dependent on evaluating threat to self from outside sources, a category to which you belong.

They ask either because they value your opinion and want to grow, or because they want validation for the schema that corresponds to their self concept. I find it's usually the latter, but their reaction tells you which.

The ones that truly want honesty take your words merely as constructive criticism and don't get mad. The others lied...they don't want honesty, and probably wouldn't know it if it jumped up and scared the pee out of 'em.

That's my take.

just a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down
the medicine go down
medicine go down.



. . .

exactly,, seems our culture has started revering RUDENESS as 'honesty'

and you seem like a beautiful person ,,,btw

I agree

no one likes my honesty.which is why not many ask me.


guese ya can say I am azz


oh well they wanna know the truth,tell em they dont like it oh well.

OC!!! How the hell are ya???

Good to see you dude.

lol,, ur a lovely couple