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Topic: Is dating just about finding that one and only?
TxsGal3333's photo
Thu 04/15/10 03:18 PM


Myself if I dated someone and found out that there was no chemistry as far as a relationship. But in fact enjoy going out with them as friends then that is what it would end up being not dating anymore but just a friendship....

Well that is as long as I found out in the beginning for I'm not one to stay buddy buddy with ex-lovers. Some do if it works for them then fine but not for me.....I stay within talking terms with them but not to the point of hanging out with them on a day to day bases.noway

Therefore it no longer becomes dating but instead just a good friend to go places with and enjoy each others company....bigsmile


Really trying to get away from the semantics of what a date is and get to what people will do in terms of activities with persons who are not potential relationships.

For me, leaving out sex, there really isn't type of thing I won't do, even if it's someone I don't see having a relationship. That's the real question to me.

There a couple things I'm trying to learn about on how people feel to avoid problems.
I have had women think I was interested in a relationship simply because I asked them to do something that was a typical date thing, like dinner or a movie. Assuming I'm not interested, I try make it clear if it doesn't already seem clear that, that's not my interest. But the mistake still happens simply because for some it seems that type of outing is automatically "a date" for building a relationship. I want to get a sense at what point I have to start worrying about that miss assumption.

And of course there is the simple curiosity of it all in what people think. :smile:


Well actually my best friend for years was a guy. We did all kinds of things together went out to eat, had a few drinks, played pool & hell one year while my kids were still little about a year or two after my divorce he even went on vacation with me and the kids. No big deal we were just friends only there was not much we would not go do.

Several asked us if there was more to it of course we both would just laugh it off and say nooooooo we are just friends. It was never more then that some still thought there was.

To me as long as two have that understanding then there is nothing you can't go do together and enjoy the company with each other. You just have to make sure both are on the same wave length.

Heck would love to have that type of friendship again we use to talk about everything... But.........well he met someone and now he lives over and hour away and spends all his time with her..... so we have pretty much drifted apart...sad2

CatsLoveMe's photo
Thu 04/15/10 03:23 PM
I'm sowwy Txs, you'll find that rainbow soon.:cry: happy I know what you're going through. I don't have it anymore, of course, but I was where you are now.flowerforyou

TxsGal3333's photo
Thu 04/15/10 03:33 PM

I'm sowwy Txs, you'll find that rainbow soon.:cry: happy I know what you're going through. I don't have it anymore, of course, but I was where you are now.flowerforyou


Ohhhhh I'm not to worried about it hey he found someone and I don't blame him for he is happy now that is all that matters.

Besides it does not keep me from going and doing things. Heck I still go out have a few beers even at times with my son and his friends or go places by myself. It's all good just better when you have someone to do things with and have a good time being around them........bigsmile

CatsLoveMe's photo
Thu 04/15/10 03:36 PM


I'm sowwy Txs, you'll find that rainbow soon.:cry: happy I know what you're going through. I don't have it anymore, of course, but I was where you are now.flowerforyou


Ohhhhh I'm not to worried about it hey he found someone and I don't blame him for he is happy now that is all that matters.

Besides it does not keep me from going and doing things. Heck I still go out have a few beers even at times with my son and his friends or go places by myself. It's all good just better when you have someone to do things with and have a good time being around them........bigsmile


Oh, believe me, I know.

DaveyB's photo
Thu 04/15/10 05:04 PM



Myself if I dated someone and found out that there was no chemistry as far as a relationship. But in fact enjoy going out with them as friends then that is what it would end up being not dating anymore but just a friendship....

Well that is as long as I found out in the beginning for I'm not one to stay buddy buddy with ex-lovers. Some do if it works for them then fine but not for me.....I stay within talking terms with them but not to the point of hanging out with them on a day to day bases.noway

Therefore it no longer becomes dating but instead just a good friend to go places with and enjoy each others company....bigsmile


Really trying to get away from the semantics of what a date is and get to what people will do in terms of activities with persons who are not potential relationships.

For me, leaving out sex, there really isn't type of thing I won't do, even if it's someone I don't see having a relationship. That's the real question to me.

There a couple things I'm trying to learn about on how people feel to avoid problems.
I have had women think I was interested in a relationship simply because I asked them to do something that was a typical date thing, like dinner or a movie. Assuming I'm not interested, I try make it clear if it doesn't already seem clear that, that's not my interest. But the mistake still happens simply because for some it seems that type of outing is automatically "a date" for building a relationship. I want to get a sense at what point I have to start worrying about that miss assumption.

And of course there is the simple curiosity of it all in what people think. :smile:


Well actually my best friend for years was a guy. We did all kinds of things together went out to eat, had a few drinks, played pool & hell one year while my kids were still little about a year or two after my divorce he even went on vacation with me and the kids. No big deal we were just friends only there was not much we would not go do.

Several asked us if there was more to it of course we both would just laugh it off and say nooooooo we are just friends. It was never more then that some still thought there was.

To me as long as two have that understanding then there is nothing you can't go do together and enjoy the company with each other. You just have to make sure both are on the same wave length.

Heck would love to have that type of friendship again we use to talk about everything... But.........well he met someone and now he lives over and hour away and spends all his time with her..... so we have pretty much drifted apart...sad2


Yeah my best friend for the last few years has been a woman. She just got into a new relationship and I don't get to see much of her now. I miss that. And I know what you mean about the friends wondering if something was going on, she's gay and we still had to contend with those questions.

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