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Topic: are you looking for a LTR right off the bat?
Atlantis75's photo
Wed 06/23/10 06:31 PM

:cry: :cry:

whiner


there is a way to stop the whinning. :wink:

But most likely I'll be never to be seen again on mingle2 or any other dating sites.

newarkjw's photo
Wed 06/23/10 06:31 PM
It all goes back to the time we gave women the right to vote...........smokin

msmyka's photo
Wed 06/23/10 06:33 PM

It all goes back to the time we gave women the right to vote...........smokin


Oh you little monster, if only you were close enough to SMACK laugh

Atlantis75's photo
Wed 06/23/10 06:34 PM

It all goes back to the time we gave women the right to vote...........smokin


and to have a career and to let them think on their own.

Ohh the good old days...



:tongue:

msmyka's photo
Wed 06/23/10 06:36 PM


You can only base your conclusions off of your own experiences. If it helps any, no one woman is the same as the last. flowerforyou

I think the problem lies in your need to analyze. There are too many unknown variables to come up with an equation my friend.


Now here is the 2 typical things I get:

1. If i go full steam ahead and try my best - People say "You are too desperate, hold on to your horses".

2. I'm trying the easy-go thing - "hey not everyone wants to marry you, don't be afraid".

I don't know what to do now. I think the last date I had thought that I wasn't interested or something, because I was very easy going and I didn't try anything. I gave her a hug every time we met and a kiss on the cheek. Now it seems like it wasn't enough. If i try anything more, then there is the chance that she's gonna think "hey this dude just wanna f..k me and that's it".

whoa


I promise you it's just as difficult for us women folk. If we put out too soon we wont be respected and thought of as a slut. If we don't put out soon enough we're prude and teases. TRUST me when I say it's far better to be a gentlemen like you are. If you feel a moment and she's looking at you with googly eyes, TAKE IT and kiss her!

Atlantis75's photo
Wed 06/23/10 06:45 PM
Edited by Atlantis75 on Wed 06/23/10 06:46 PM



You can only base your conclusions off of your own experiences. If it helps any, no one woman is the same as the last. flowerforyou

I think the problem lies in your need to analyze. There are too many unknown variables to come up with an equation my friend.


Now here is the 2 typical things I get:

1. If i go full steam ahead and try my best - People say "You are too desperate, hold on to your horses".

2. I'm trying the easy-go thing - "hey not everyone wants to marry you, don't be afraid".

I don't know what to do now. I think the last date I had thought that I wasn't interested or something, because I was very easy going and I didn't try anything. I gave her a hug every time we met and a kiss on the cheek. Now it seems like it wasn't enough. If i try anything more, then there is the chance that she's gonna think "hey this dude just wanna f..k me and that's it".

whoa


I promise you it's just as difficult for us women folk. If we put out too soon we wont be respected and thought of as a slut. If we don't put out soon enough we're prude and teases. TRUST me when I say it's far better to be a gentlemen like you are. If you feel a moment and she's looking at you with googly eyes, TAKE IT and kiss her!


Hmmmm..I'm a gentleman? blushing flowerforyou
Then you're a sweetheart.

but..I don't remember she looking at me with googly eyes..all I remember is this fear..I always get that from many. frustrated

msmyka's photo
Wed 06/23/10 06:57 PM
Why would she continue to go out with you if she didn't want you to kiss her? I wouldn't keep seeing a guy if I wasn't attracted.

Atlantis75's photo
Wed 06/23/10 07:34 PM

Why would she continue to go out with you if she didn't want you to kiss her? I wouldn't keep seeing a guy if I wasn't attracted.


I dunno. sad2 i don't know lot's of things..maybe I'm too shy, maybe she got something else going on, maybe neither I or her know.

All I know is this. I had much easier time doing this dating stuff when I was 17 , only spoke a few words in English and I was about 10 times shy-er than now. I ended up landing having a girlfriend for 5 years.

So I don't understand anything anymore about women. Now in protest, I shaved my head, like Britney Spears. :cry:


no photo
Wed 06/23/10 07:41 PM

I'm arguing with a few people on another site, and it seems like most are looking for a long term relationship on dating sites , right off the bat.

Basically browsing and matching with people and see that person they contact as someone who'm they want to spend a long term right off the bat.

Isn't that just a little too much and too early and having way too much expectation from someone?


To put in a metaphoric expression ~

Isn't that like trying to trap an adult grizzly bear, while you ignore the little cubs you can have for free and just raise him to be a big grizzly one day?


I always start out by getting to know someone, who is someone fun to hang out with and then just see how things gonna go later on. It might turn into a serious love relationship that could last for many years or we might never get to that point and remain as friends only.
relationships never happen overnight, and if u try to push it to become something that it is not before it is, it prolly won't work.

Intimacy cannot be forced, nor can trust.


It amazes me to read guys on hear complain that a woman has turned them down - accepting a chat invite or a date is just that, and not a promise of anything more even tho' most of us hope it will become more....and at some point it will - for each of us- with the person with whom we're meant for.flowerforyou :heart:

Ladylid2012's photo
Wed 06/23/10 07:47 PM
Why do men think they have to 'understand' women? We are all different despite popular belief....
I just don't get why it's so important to some to put so much energy into understanding the opposite gender. We really only need to 'understand' the one with with. Everyone is different, we all have our shiit.
I know in 15 minutes of a real life meeting if a guy is one I even want to spend anymore time with and attempt to 'understand'.

Ferenc, did you really save your head in protest?? noway

Atlantis75's photo
Wed 06/23/10 08:02 PM
Edited by Atlantis75 on Wed 06/23/10 08:03 PM



Ferenc, did you really save your head in protest?? noway


whoa

rofl

If somehow that would mean some sort of a retaliation, just because of a woman, I'd have a hair like newarkjw by now or you.



Trust me..I like my hair short (as possible) for the past 15 years, that's why I'm down to a quarter inch.

misswright's photo
Wed 06/23/10 08:09 PM
The only thing I look for right off the bat is a foul ball. Most of the time I just swing and miss altogether. I think I hit a homerun many moons ago but I did a lot of drugs way back when so it could just be a weird hallucination. :wink:

Ladylid2012's photo
Wed 06/23/10 08:18 PM




Ferenc, did you really save your head in protest?? noway


whoa

rofl

If somehow that would mean some sort of a retaliation, just because of a woman, I'd have a hair like newarkjw by now or you.



...and just what is wrong with having hair like me or Jeff??? spock

74Drew's photo
Wed 06/23/10 09:06 PM

I'm arguing with a few people on another site, and it seems like most are looking for a long term relationship on dating sites , right off the bat.

Basically browsing and matching with people and see that person they contact as someone who'm they want to spend a long term right off the bat.

Isn't that just a little too much and too early and having way too much expectation from someone?


To put in a metaphoric expression ~

Isn't that like trying to trap an adult grizzly bear, while you ignore the little cubs you can have for free and just raise him to be a big grizzly one day?


I always start out by getting to know someone, who is someone fun to hang out with and then just see how things gonna go later on. It might turn into a serious love relationship that could last for many years or we might never get to that point and remain as friends only.

we have to say we're looking for a LTR because if we say we're looking for sex people run away.

while it might not be a lie to say we're looking for a LTR, it could be more of an exaggeration. it's like, i'm looking to get laid and if it turns into something long term then okay. or i'm looking to get laid and i'm willing to go out on a few dates to show you i'm not a "hit it and quit it" kind of guy, but if you make me go on more than 3 without putting out, i'm gone.


in all seriousness, it could be a bit too much to ask for, but some people won't even consider you if you seem to still be playing the field.


. . .

RoamingOrator's photo
Wed 06/23/10 09:22 PM
I don't know, maybe I'm old school, but I can only date one woman at a time anyway. Of course, that being said, I'll admit that I wouldn't even consider asking someone out if I wasn't intending to be in it for the long haul.

I'd say my days of philandering are over, but they never existed to begin with. Besides, if I wanted to just hook up, they have sites specifically for that, so why waste time here or other places where the overwhelming majority seem to be looking for something more substantial.

EquusDancer's photo
Thu 06/24/10 07:25 PM


You can only base your conclusions off of your own experiences. If it helps any, no one woman is the same as the last. flowerforyou

I think the problem lies in your need to analyze. There are too many unknown variables to come up with an equation my friend.


Now here is the 2 typical things I get:

1. If i go full steam ahead and try my best - People say "You are too desperate, hold on to your horses".

2. I'm trying the easy-go thing - "hey not everyone wants to marry you, don't be afraid".

I don't know what to do now. I think the last date I had thought that I wasn't interested or something, because I was very easy going and I didn't try anything. I gave her a hug every time we met and a kiss on the cheek. Now it seems like it wasn't enough. If i try anything more, then there is the chance that she's gonna think "hey this dude just wanna f..k me and that's it".

whoa



Horses, Ferenc?! Really?! I so could get into a proper metaphor about the dangers of a full out gallop being dangerous if one isn't properly onboard and all that. But there's a difference between a more collected canter, that can be fun and such. :tongue: laugh

I want a friendship with passion. I don't immediately look for a relationship, but I do want someone who I can have long deep, and in some cases, off the wall conversations about, who can teach me new things, and be interested in new things themselves. I want to cherish the moments and even if it doesn't shift into a LTR, I want the type of relationship I can look back on later and think fondly of the memories.

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